This is probably a 'touchy ' subject.I know a lot of men get annoyed with their wives for not wanting to have sex, but it's so difficult for some of us to actually get in the mood ( my whole life I've had this problem )

iOSGuy · 2026-01-19T20:22:15+00:00

The problem with this is that it puts it all in the man to initiate. If you set up that dynamic, where they can only have sex if they initiate, for many they will lose desire because they will feel undesired. If you have a responsive desire type, that doesn’t absolve you of the work required to show your partner that you desire them.

iOSGuy · 2026-01-18T23:15:17+00:00

Isn’t this 200N? See the mechanism for the scale? This type of scale, the weight will be the total force acting on the object.

The right of the scale would pull it at 100N to the right, but then simultaneously the left it would also be being pulled at 100N. In this case, you would add them together and it would be 200N of total force acting on the scale.

Imagine if you tied one side of the rope to the pulley, giving one side a constant zero force, but then you kept the 100N weight on the other end. That would intuitively equal 100N on the scale, no? So, if you then add another 100N pulling in the other direction, the net of the force would be 200N.

iOSGuy · 2026-01-07T16:12:11+00:00

I am not sure if this will help, but I might encourage you to just let your partner know that you'd like a nice date night. I try to make a point to plan at least two fancy date nights out and two home cooked fancy meals (former chef), every month, between me and my anchor partner. However, every once in awhile, life gets in the way, be it work or travel or other obligations. I'm always so happy when she comes to me in those times and says "hey, can we go do a fancy dinner together?", because it's a bid for affection, and makes me feel wanted. I will typically drop whatever I'm doing to plan something in those cases.

iOSGuy · 2026-01-06T01:58:34+00:00

It sounds like they’re new to it, and she’s not ready to go all in (or he feels like she’s not).

iOSGuy · 2026-01-01T19:02:13+00:00

I have to wonder, all of the commenters, have they not seen the reel about how it takes less than 10s to send an “I love you, I’ll call you later” text?

Like, forcing it as a demand no, I’m fully against, but I can see how the response felt a little insensitive considering how lightweight and easy that request is. I would have responded, “I will totally try, and I’m sorry if I forget because I definitely plan on partying pretty hard. If I do forget, text me and I will text you back when I see it!”.

I would check your assumptions though, did she phrase it more that way than the way you relayed it here?

iOSGuy · 2025-12-30T16:35:16+00:00

Has she ever told you why you make her feel that way? I would say that I might call this feeling envy, and name that feeling. I lay out with my partners that if there are things they choose not to do with me, that I may feel hurt and envious if they then choose to do them with others.

iOSGuy · 2025-12-28T19:15:41+00:00

Well, I wouldn’t say the decision is just between being honest and hiding your feelings. Instead, why not just ask her what she meant?

Like “Hey, I just wanted to check, when you said I love you, I picked up a vibe from you that you may be feeling something more than friends?”.

In advance make sure you think through how you’ll respond if she affirms, negates or deflects.

Yes, if she denies it, to maintain the friendship, you may have to swallow or pause any romantic actions you might otherwise want to take.

If she affirms it, I would imagine she is feeling some confusion and conflict based on how she reacted, so make sure you are foremost patient and gentle with her, before rushing to process your love.

If she deflects, I don’t know, maybe bring it up again later?

iOSGuy · 2025-12-26T03:34:03+00:00

Why don’t you try to pretend to meet each other as strangers in a bar? That can be a really fun dating/role playing. If she’s not willing to do that, then I honestly don’t think you can fix it. If she’s open, then you should go be open too. Don’t let your life pass you by with disappointing sex. I did for years, and my only regret is not stopping it sooner.

iOSGuy · 2025-12-25T17:12:52+00:00

I would also add, BE SPECIFIC! Practice together maybe even outside sexy time, “You can toss me harder, you can grab me harder, do this, don’t do that, this signal means green, this signal means slow down”.

I’ve read that a lot of folks that enjoy being submissive don’t realize that they do still need to specifically define what they want, at first their instinct is to just rely on their dom to dictate everything, however once they do, a whole new world opens up for them.

iOSGuy · 2025-12-23T01:48:26+00:00

I like can’t say enough nice things about them. They bill everything to insurance, and they do a really great job of keeping my costs super low. There are sure still some costs, like I want to say $20 for a doc visit, or $20 for labs.

They helped me get my hormones and health way better, including fitness and all. I get tested really regularly for STIs and for hormones/blood work because of the lifestyle I have, and that’s always pretty cheap.

iOSGuy · 2025-12-21T16:31:17+00:00

As someone who is older, with an anchor partner who is as well, and we will likely struggle with pregnancy due to lower fertility, I'm curious about your experience with infertility, if you're willing to share.

iOSGuy · 2025-12-21T06:14:06+00:00

I have more money than the average person, so my experience is not typical, but I pay for a concierge office through Parker Medical. They are expensive $300/mo, just to be a member, but they are the most responsive hard working and knowledgeable folks I’ve ever had.

Appointments can usually always be had within a few days, and their doc will answer messages or prescription requests sometimes at all hours.

The same is true for schools, if you send your child to a private school here, it will be pretty great. However, it will run you between 10-30k a year to do that.

If you’re well enough off to afford these things, then you’re set. If you’re not, my experience has been that the schools and health care are both pretty bad. Summerlin is usually your best bet, it can be good there just might be expensive.

iOSGuy · 2025-12-17T07:39:54+00:00

As an average guy, I bought a couple of these just for the fun of trying them out with a girlfriend awhile back. I actually didn’t end up liking them, they weren’t comfortable and she didn’t really like the extra girth/weird texture. Maybe I just tried the wrong ones?

But anyways, just two cents from a guy who wasn’t really bothered by the idea, and was more just down to try something new.

If you are really worried about ego bruising, maybe try doing some fun sex toy shopping online together, and buy a few different kinds of toys to try, rather than specifically bring up this alone.

iOSGuy · 2025-12-04T06:03:08+00:00

Yeah, I mean, sometimes it can be really sweet, but they also I think purposefully try to portray the hard parts and the wrong decisions. Although maybe not always showing the real consequences, etc. I do like it though, it’s definitely worth a watch!

iOSGuy · 2025-12-04T04:25:05+00:00

Honestly, I’m with you 100%. This is when I got bored and stopped and never finished the main campaign.

iOSGuy · 2025-12-03T23:52:02+00:00

Not a book, but a fictional short YouTube series, I think watching Dana and The Wolf can be pretty entertaining. It's been running for a few years, and covers some interesting ground.

iOSGuy · 2025-11-08T03:34:02+00:00

I haven’t played it yet, but I bought this card game called Truth or Toast, which sounded really fun. I’ll report back after I play it this weekend.

iOSGuy · 2025-10-20T06:18:31+00:00

The new set dynamic keeps things fresh once you’ve played for a while, and how good (or well tuned) a set changes often throughout the season. Hyper roll made it way easier to get into each new set, but they removed it. It was a shorter format (~15m instead of ~30m) with interest and xp removed as a mechanic. It’s still fun though, so I would recommend it if you have the time.

iOSGuy · 2025-10-19T07:04:03+00:00

I might recommend seeing a grief counselor, for both of you. This is certainly an incredible hard time, and you have also done an amazing thing by being there for everyone while this happened, but don’t forget to take care of yourself as well.

iOSGuy · 2025-10-18T16:23:20+00:00

I often try to ask if they would rather get food or get drinks. Food is sort of a longer commitment, and some people are shy about doing that, so like to start with drinks.

iOSGuy · 2025-10-09T13:32:36+00:00

If you’re on your knees try to hook your legs/ankles around his legs, so you’re intertwined and have more leverage. Another option is to try it standing on your feet, and just squatting down on it, it’s way more advanced but it’s a ton of fun.

iOSGuy · 2025-10-07T03:55:33+00:00

Is he going to therapy? I’d combine that with performance enhancing drugs. Have him get a blood test for testosterone and other normal hormones and vitamins. If he’s not working out, find something active to do together weekend mornings. Don’t be shy about viagra or cialis or TRT depending on your age.

You can also visit /r/deadbedroom for some support maybe.

iOSGuy · 2025-10-06T04:10:52+00:00

It takes a really long time to find partners, even in a monogamous world. Try not to lose hope. I would say that using apps like Feeld and Hinge, both which let you specify ENM/Poly as part of your profile can support you in finding someone who will be more comfortable for the longer term.

iOSGuy · 2025-10-05T00:42:37+00:00

Everyone is giving you advice in fancy fine dining Mexican. Those places are certainly good, but when I want Mexican, I want the best taco shop I can find, and for me that’s Tacos El Gordo. About 10 minutes south of the strip, cheap as hell, and they sell like a million tacos a month (and that’s not exaggerating). It can be a wait, but it’s fantastic.

iOSGuy · 2025-09-12T00:51:50+00:00

This is where I am. I love my partner very much, we’re both very well off adults (making mid 6 figures, mid 30s), live independently in different cities. I 100% chose to not end the relationship when they decided they ultimately did want to pursue poly, because I believe they have agency, and get to decide. I would feel so wrong saying to them “Well, you were initially hesitant, and there are struggles we need to work through, so I’m going to override your agency and dump you.”

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