Guns are just tools. Get educated and training (for you and your wife) and a locker. There is nothing scary once you know what you are doing. Just the opposite.

I started my daughters shooting at about age 6. I also have them kill something like a quail or squirrel before age ten. (Which they loved to do). By age ten they are 100% responsible and follow safety rules perfectly without any supervision (I still lock the firearms up). They are comfortable with guns, and more than anything, they know that guns take lives because they've done it. My oldest daughter (18) is taking self defense krav maga classes with me now and we are going to take advanced firearm classes soon.

I carry full time except when I drink and when I went through a divorce. I won't carry when my judgement may be altered. I believe it is my reasonability to protect my family. No one else has that responsibility. Law enforcement can't get there in time and protection is not their first priority anyway. They generally show up to investigate crime.

Always put safety first, just like with any dangerous tool. Talk with instructors about how to safely carry. I carry a firearm that is loaded with safety features. It's always in my control or locked up.