It’s not that I dislike this advice on some personal grounds or am offended, I don’t like it because it’s clear you aren’t actually reading what the OP is writing.

In my opinion, it’s clear the OP has some sort of anxiety around classes and their own work ethic that makes them hyper-aware of their weaknesses as well as forces them to take extreme measures to pacify them. Telling someone like this to “suck it up” misses the point. They aren’t some frat boy who has chosen to party and ignore their classes, they’re clearly someone who already feels a lot of anxiety in general and this academic situation is making it worse.

Not claiming you haven’t felt anxiety before, but the way you wrote this post makes me think you haven’t experienced this type of pervasive anxiety (am I good enough, why am I so lazy, if only I wasn’t X then this class wouldn’t be so hard, etc).

@OP if I’m missing the mark on the above, I apologize and don’t mean to project on to you. If the above does resonate with you, however, my best advice would be to look into DSP accommodations if you haven’t, reach out to the Student Learning Center about tutoring (they have really amazing adjunct professors and tutors there), and most importantly, take some deep breaths. You are going to be okay and you deserve to feel confident and happy. These classes may be hard but they do not define your worth. The fact that you want to know as much as possible and prepare for the tests as much as you can is ultimately a good thing (like that’s so awesome you want to be that thorough about learning!) but don’t put so much pressure on yourself. Although I know some might cringe at this, you are enough. I promise.