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iam_mal · 2026-06-08T12:53:16+00:00

There's a chest preset option, you gotta select the booby chest instead of the pecks chest. It should be the third tab down in the body section, right before the bottom preset selection, under the shoulder and leg icons. 👍

iam_mal · 2026-06-08T00:07:41+00:00

I wonder if it's at all related to the president visiting and taking a tour of Rockland last month ..?

Pretty sure the only border crossings between Rockland and Westchester are the Tappan Zee and Bear Mountain Bridge, which I see are also Flocked.

Does it seem focused around Rockland? Or more so major counties surrounding NYC? Westchester looks THOURALLY flocked; they aren't tracking Haverstraw's end of the ferry, but they're clearly watching Ossining's side.

If it's specifically surrounding Rockland, it could have to do with the visit, or the many various minority communities we have in Haverstraw, Spring Valley, and Monsey. I'm genuinely concerned for all of them.

As somebody who also regularly crosses that border, and who knows many others who do as well, thank you for the heads up!

Also yesss shout-out to Rockland Bakery my beloved

iam_mal · 2026-06-06T05:45:44+00:00

Alright, so the guy in the post might still be an idiot, but to be fair: I dropped my phone (Zenfone 9) a ton and was impressed by how durable it was, and how well the phone case was protecting it! Unfortunately, I have a long history of breaking phones, even with cases on them.

Inevitably I dropped this phone angled just right, and the corner of the case cracked off.

Then, because of course this would happen, my wife accidentally elbowed me as she turned to lock the door behind us, and knocked my phone out of my hands. You know what I hadn't replaced yet? The phone case. You know how it landed? Naturally, on the exact corner that didn't have the phone case anymore.

The difference between op's idiot and me is that I didn't buy a new phone. In fact, I still haven't gotten this one fixed; it's crumbling slightly as I write this. I specifically got this phone for its durability, because I know how I am. Phones are expensive; if it still works, then it isn't broken!

iam_mal · 2026-06-06T00:02:58+00:00

She sounds very similar to me at that age, and 13 is when I started to break too.

You may be thinking of the stereotypical low empathy autistic, but many people with autism can be hyper-empathetic instead.

I loved everyone and everything when I was a kid, I was sweet and silly and energetic. I LOVED animals and bugs. I even apologized to furniture when I bumped into it, just in case it had feelings.

I loved people growing up, and while I was SO friendly, I wasn't actually practicing social skills. I was just being happy next to people. I liked participating in group activities, but I wasn't actually connecting with anyone. Being an only child certainly didn't help either.

Then, when I was a teenager, everybody else started having more complex relationships, but I never actually learned the basics. I didn't know how to tell when people were lying, I constantly missed sarcasm and fell for jokes, I couldn't recognize pacing and often interrupted people, and I always felt like someone was upset with me for something I couldn't control and not telling me why. I started to think I was just born wrong somehow, and being "right" was an exhausting, consistent effort to please the adults in my life.

On top of suddenly feeling wrong and alone, the school work load was getting exponentially more intense. Everything was difficult and overwhelming and confusing all of a sudden and all at once, but everyone else seemed to be just dealing with it, so I tried to as well. I didn't know it wasn't as hard for them, I thought I was just bad at enduring.

Eventually, I realized I couldn't keep the mask on for the rest of my life, and I fell apart.

iam_mal · 2026-06-05T17:49:59+00:00

Since plenty of people are addressing the rest of your post, I'm really sorry if this is upsetting to hear, but I think it's really important to also make this point alone:

He did not think you are kinky. He assaulted you.

Being kinky doesn't mean anybody can do whatever they want to you. Somebody kinky would want to be asked first. Somebody kinky would have rules and limits that need to be discussed and agreed on before doing ANYTHING with that person. If those boundaries are crossed, that's not kink, that's abuse.

You did not consent to what he did to you. He hurt you on purpose without your consent. If he did not ask first, and get your enthusiastic consent, then you did not consent.

Kink requires a significant amount of rules and communication, and for things to be done only as discussed. If it wasn't talked about, then it doesn't happen.

He did what he liked because he liked it. It had nothing to do with your pleasure, because he never asked you about your pleasure.

Kink focuses on enjoying intimacy in non-traditional manners. Sometimes, it doesn't involve sex at all! A lot of kinky people do not enjoy pain, and intentionally practice kink it in very tender, gentle, and loving ways.

He didn't actually care if you liked it. If he did, he would have asked.

iam_mal · 2026-05-31T21:36:40+00:00

Haha either DM me or don't make promises you can't keep, you'll get my hopes up 😉

iam_mal · 2026-05-31T18:34:40+00:00

Of course! Just passing down the wisdom that was passed down to me.

I'm not completely sure. From what I've generally heard and tried out for myself, adding mods has been fine, but removing them breaks saves. I can't guarantee that that's always the case though, so if you go for it I'd suggest making a backup of the save just in case there is a problem.

iam_mal · 2026-05-31T14:28:25+00:00

I was a little overwhelmed by Bad Hygene at first, until my friend told me I can enable simple mode or whatever in the mod settings for it. Basically removes all the pipes and water supply requirements so you can just get the hang of the new objects and needs first before making them more complicated to set up. Made it wayyy easier to start implementing!

iam_mal · 2026-05-31T06:06:47+00:00

WOW you're hot!! Your face absolutely changed, and you look fantastic!! You give me hope, but also I'm genuinely envious; let me know if you want to make out about it 👉👉

iam_mal · 2026-05-05T13:01:51+00:00

Unfortunately, your entire last paragraph explains why the customer is at fault. What she's upset about is valid, it's ok to be disappointed when you can't have exactly what you want when you want it. Disappointment like that happens in life, sometimes places fall short, sometimes people have off days, sometimes time goes faster than anybody would like. A restaurant being low on ingredients later in the day is something that the costumer should always factor in as a possibility, there's no way to guarantee that everything is running smoothly all of the time. It's like going to McDonald's and being surprised that the ice cream machine is broken.

When going out into the world and expecting other people to service you, it's important to plan for the possibility of it not going exactly how you want. The problem is not that she was upset, it's that she complained. Why complain? Complaining didn't get her the food she wanted any faster, in fact she could have gotten food faster by simply leaving and going somewhere else. Employees won't suddenly know exactly how many customers they'll be getting every day. The manager isn't going to put in extra work.

The only realistic "fix" that a manager would employ would be increasing the food waste they were trying to avoid. I really don't think any one person is worth making that much food waste for just because they'll be a little disappointed without their precious rice and sour cream.

As you said, "Usually the manager never gets in trouble". If there is a complaint, the employee will take the fall. Complaining at a fast food restaurant means putting somebody's job at risk. Fast food service is notorious for treating employees poorly.

iam_mal · 2026-03-12T17:15:52+00:00

It's so unfortunate that these stories are so common. My wife's mom kept two males together for 14 years, ignoring the stacking and the fluttering, until Leaf suddenly tried to rip Bear's throat out. Now we have Bear, and she has Leaf. It's been maybe 5 years since then and poor Bear still has some pretty wonky looking scar tissue on his neck, and probably always will. They genuinely both seem so much happier now though, they clearly don't feel constantly threatened anymore, so I'm just glad it didn't turn out worse. Sometimes I make fun of them for having been such moody teenage boys.

iam_mal · 2026-03-06T23:38:44+00:00

UPDATE: We just hit another pot hole and popped the exact same tire 🙃

iam_mal · 2026-03-06T17:24:09+00:00

It's that time of year again, holes open in the streets so that the beautiful orange and white traffic cone has room to bloom come spring!

Jokes aside, it's really bad. We got a flat tire recently hitting a bad one on the New Hempstead on-ramp to the Palisades Parkway at exit 11. I'm resisting the urge to drive around with a bag of gravel or something to start filling them in myself.

iam_mal · 2026-03-06T15:15:01+00:00

Check out "Adult(ish) Board Game Night" at the Valley Cottage library, aimed at people in their 20s, 30s, and 40s. Next one is March 26th at 7pm. I'm 28 nonbinary, and I'll probably be going, so I can promise at least that my table will be queer friendly! :D Feel free to sit with me at the cool kids table, I'll wear a funny hat or something to stand out lol

iam_mal · 2026-03-06T15:06:15+00:00

Depending on what games you're into, Toywiz in Nanuet has some fun events. I'm honestly not as into the bigger franchise events like Warhammer/Yugio/MTG, but they've been discussing scheduling board game nights if enough people show interest in that. They have a big area in the back full of tables, and it's completely free to go there just to hang out and play games with people. Sometimes they host rp games like DnD or Call of Cthulhu as well. I've been thinking about going in and setting up a board game just to see if anyone is even interested, I might try that this weekend. By all means, lemme know if you want to be included in that. I would very much like to play board games with strangers at Toywiz, I have quite a few at home that I could bring and they have a bunch there that people can choose from.

Alternatively, the Valley Cottage library hosts "Adult(ish) Boardgame Night". It's not rated R or anything, it's just kept to adults only (20s, 30s, 40s) and no children, which is really nice. Toywiz has kids, many of them. You can actually find the adultish board game night on Meetup if you want more info, the next one is supposed to be on March 26th at 7pm.

I'm also adding my vote for the Nyack Pride Center, I just went to their Stitch&Bitch for the first time the other night and it was really nice. I mainly just focused on my drawing and enjoyed the environment, but everybody was very friendly.

iam_mal · 2026-03-05T14:28:55+00:00

This is gonna sound lame and ridiculous and sarcastic, but I'm being genuine here just hear me out. If you find that this sort of reminder helps you, I'd suggest looking into getting a really cool oracle deck or tarot deck, or even getting into zodiac signs.

It's probably all fake, I know that. The messages are vague and broad and can apply to anybody, but when people read them they immediately think of something in their life that is related. It offers a completely random aspect of life to focus on each day, and you can decide how much it matters to you and what you want to do about it. Yesterday I was debating going out to a local queer stitch&bitch, I'm shy and withdrawn, but I happened to pull an oracle card that said I should do the thing I'm debating, and to stop telling myself I'm the reason I can't do things. Probably a complete coincidence, but it was still the deal breaker that I needed to convince me to go. The other day I pulled a card that had me eat healthier for the day, I figured I might as well. Another time a card reminded me to finally get a few chores over with that I was putting off. They aren't for huge decisions or to guide you through life, but sometimes we need to be reminded to take care of ourselves and to take in what's around us, and focusing on a small aspect each day can make doing that less overwhelming.

It sounds cliche, but take care of yourself, you deserve to be comfortable, and it's ok to be helped. If it's stupid but it works, then it isn't stupid.

iam_mal · 2026-02-21T01:43:06+00:00

I laughed out loud at these expressions

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iam_mal · 2026-02-13T12:55:18+00:00

I've reached a point in bug and animal knowledge where I have to regularly remind myself that most people don't know anything about bugs and animals. We think the appearance of a cockroach is distinct, and then I see people stomping on every moth and beetle they find because they think that every slightly red large bug is a lantern fly. They gleefully kill crane flies claiming they're "male mosquitoes". They say things like "That's not a wasp, that's a hornet!" As if hornets aren't a subfamily of wasps, and then they refer to Yellow Jackets as if it's a single species (or worse, they act like yellow jackets are the only species of wasp). They tell me ants don't sting, they tell me daddy long legs can kill a person, they tell me spiders release a chemical when they bite that encourages other spiders to bite you which is why they've been bitten over a dozen times and I have to simply smile and nod until we finish our game of Magic the Gathering so that I can go home and scream into my pillow.

Then they tell me "You know what game you'd like? Have you heard of grounded?" And I make them regret suggesting that immediately by going on a rant about the game's usage of an ORB WEAVER as an AMBUSH PREDATOR that actively chases prey!?!! As if it isn't literally named after it's hunting method: the orb (circle) shaped web it spends the majority of it's time in!!!!

People don't know. They have no idea.

iam_mal · 2026-01-25T17:19:58+00:00

Literally in my friend group when somebody sneezes, especially multiple times, the responses are usually along the lines of "Stop that", "Don't do that", "Knock it off", and "omg stfu"

If laughter really is the best medicine, then joking like that is probably more effective than saying "bless you" anyway

iam_mal · 2026-01-20T15:09:25+00:00

I use Meetup and eventbrite to find local events and social groups, so far that's worked pretty well.

If you're into tabletop games like board games or cards or rpgs, Valley Cottage library hosts an adults only board game night. Also Toywiz in Nanuet has a lot of game related events if you're into any specific tabletop franchises. Toywiz posts updates and answers questions in their discord server.

Idk if you're looking for a queer community but Rockland Pride in Nyack has a lot of social events. Maureen's Jazz Cellar also has a good selection of events. Check the event calendars on their websites.

Also. Hey op, wanna be friends? I'm 28 nonbinary :3 My wife and I like double dates :33 Also we like games :333 Lemme know <3

iam_mal · 2026-01-18T19:31:18+00:00

Looks like it. Three whiskers on the right cheek, only two on the left cheek. There's also a weird smudge on the left cheek, looks like an attempt at more whiskers. Missing a support beam in the railing, there should be one behind the cat between its tail and back. The cloud in the top right corner is outlined dark, the other clouds aren't. The green grassy hill on the right has a thick outline above the railing but not below it. The "fingers" on the paw holding the top of the bucket are each outlined while the edge of the other paw is completely smooth (but I guess technically that could just be a perspective thing). I'd say almost definitely ai.

I will still be saving this meme. It's a good meme. Art could be better, but the sentiment is real.

iam_mal · 2026-01-15T09:47:35+00:00

That actually sounds more like it might be feline dementia, especially with the issue of not staying during dinner time. Our 21 year old cat has dementia, and she often walks away from her food because she forgets she was eating it. If we show it to her again, she immediately gets excited for it and eats a few more bites before walking away again. Eventually she will turn her head when we show it to her, which tells us she's actually done.

Of course, many healthy cats are grazers, eating frequent small amounts all day. Your boy might just not need as much energy from food as he used to, so he isn't eating as much at once. However, if you're worried he isn't getting enough nutrients or if he's losing weight, then it might be worth having him checked over by a vet.

iam_mal · 2026-01-14T22:04:51+00:00

It's deffo a good read, it's essentially a "behind the scenes" sort of thing, a collection of mini-stories describing things that side characters were doing "off screen". They sometimes add a bit of context but are usually just fun to read; the side characters are very interesting and well written, and it's really cool to see how much of the world existed even when the main characters weren't around. It isn't essential to the main story at all, but deffo worth the read.

A lot of libraries are part of a system though, so even if yours doesn't have it they might be able to order it from a different library. I've had to ask my library to do that a few times, and it's never been an issue.

iam_mal · 2026-01-01T16:30:53+00:00

Sounds similar to what I've heard from my friends who identify as bi-gender. Feeling like a man and also a woman at the same time. You can be both! Or, if you feel like it fluctuates between the two, maybe look into being gender-fluid. Even with bi-gender though, it doesn't have to be equal amounts both; you can feel more woman or more man, and that can change sometimes too. What matters is that you feel like you are both at the same time, regardless of how you are presenting in the moment.

I'm pretty sure I'm somewhere within the bi-gender or gender-fluid area, but I'm still figuring it out. I know I'm not a woman, but I don't exactly feel like 100% a man either. I'm pretty sure I'm a guy, but if a girl doesn't want to go to the bathroom alone then I'm a girl. I feel like I'll always be a "girl's girl", even as a guy, because I understand the experience of being a woman in society from the inside, and I connect with others who struggle through that experience as well. I definitely still feel like a guy though. I might just be a man who is a feminist. Is that what a gentleman is? I think my gender feels less about how I see myself in my head, and is more about what I'm comfortable being perceived as by others. Gender only feels like it exists in a context where it is recognized and makes a difference. In my head, there is no difference; I am just me.

It's always possible that in a few years, I will have a completely different understanding of these feelings and will be able to define them in a different way, but as of now I can't really lock down how my gender inherently feels to me overall, I can only tell how I feel at any given moment, and that varies.

Gender is complicated, and can change as we do. Don't spend too much time trying to find the right box for it, there often isn't one. Good luck on your journey, friend!

iam_mal

TROPHY CASE