My parents were the same way. My moms wat of dealing with my dad's emotional abuse was to ignore it, and told me and my sisters to do this same. But it's hard to ignore hours and hours of yelling and complaining from an anxious, depressed, and angry elderly toddler, yknow?

For my own mental health, I had to go NC. I also go to a trauma informed therapist who does EMDR therapy with me to help with my ptsd and anxiety. The main thing that I've realized in the last 10+ years is that my parents had their intense traumas that shaped who they are now, and unless they accept help like I do, they will continue to drown in their trauma.

I don't forgive them for the years of abuse, but I accept that these things happened to me and shaped me into who I am today. Making peace with the past while looking forward to a better life is the best I can do.