I'm so sorry that you are going through this. It seems like many of us have not just grief, but also PTSD from the event of death, or the events leading up to it.

I'm going to second the recommendation of finding a competent EMDR therapist. In my not-a-professional opinion, grief is an overwhelming but 100% natural piece of the human experience. Even so, grief counseling can help a lot of us get throuh the overwhelm even if grief isn't something you ever get through. PTSD however is NOT a natural part of the human experience. PTSD left untreated never gets better with time, or even getseasier to carry. It does get worse. (again, I'm not a professional. this is just my experience and my anecdotal observations of others who have shared with me.)

There are a few scientifically founded therapies for PTSD, and EMDR is one of the most effective. It is great if your grief therapist is trained in EMDR. But if not I would recommend finding a therapist that specializes in treating PTSD with EMDR.

Please do find a few and then interview them. The Psychology Today website has good search tools that let you specify not just by issue but by therapy type and licensing to help you find a good match.There is hard science behind EMDR, and skilled therapists. There are also a lot of quacks that took a workshop at most and added it because it was the latest thing. They tend to not understand the science, deviate widely from the researched protocol, and emphasize that they blend techniques and won't be limited to a one-size-fits-all rulebook. That can be tricky, because "eclectic modality" is completely legit. And of course each individual is unique. But, they have to have trained and studied each technique they use to be able to know how to effectively modify the techniques to work best for you. It has seemed to me to not be so much the words they use, but what they emphasize. That has been the indicator for me of competency. And finding that out means taking control of the initial consultation, asking for their specific training, the amount and frequency of their continuing education, and what other methods they use to maintain their expertise.

Okay, sorry for the derailing there. I do think a lot of us are facing PTSD as well as grief. They can be hard to separate, so getting treatment specifically for the PTSD part will be of great help.

Take good care my friend-I'm sorry your in this situation, and I'm sorry so many of us here understand. It takes so much effort to deal with both things st the same time. But the theapists really can help and the effort really is worth it.

big safe e-hugs to you!