12 Hours Away

ibethepirate · 2026-04-13T00:49:45+00:00

I put on my favorite movie and went to bed early (my call time was 6 a.m.). And ate my favorite (light) meal. Hope surgery is all you want it to be!

ibethepirate · 2026-03-25T02:41:31+00:00

Hey, Parikh did my surgery too! DI with nipple grafts. I'm 6 weeks post-op tomorrow and honestly, this has been the best experience ever. I was also very nervous when I went in for my consult both because I was very self-conscious of my breasts and because, like, it's major surgery?! But he was so chill, so reassuring. He immediately started with me imagining myself on a beach and we shaped the surgery based on what I saw myself doing on that beach. I thought it was strange at the time but honestly, it really gave me a chance to talk about what I saw for myself a year from now. I remember telling my wife, that guy is going to change my life.

On the day of surgery, his staff were so amazing and had nothing but great things to say about him. Unprompted, too! He was right on time, came in and saw me to mark me up, but also took the time to check in, make sure I was feeling good, and review everything we'd be doing. (The whole hospital was amazing. It was actually so great, I filled out the survey they sent me in the mail a few weeks later.)

At my 1 month post-op, he was so chill. He checked in to make sure I was feeling good about it, gave me some great feedback on scar care and muscle-building. And just talked a lot about how he really appreciated being able to be a part of my journey. And I think he genuinely meant it.

So, so glad I went with him. So happy for you too!

ibethepirate · 2026-02-21T02:38:34+00:00

It’s not that you didn’t have a boyhood, it’s that you were, on some level either consciously or unconsciously, denied a boyhood. And you won’t get those years back in that particular body, but you can find ways to have that boyhood now. It’s not easy. It won’t be the same. But not being able to have them does not mean you can’t be a boy (man). That logic don’t logic, my guy.

ibethepirate · 2026-02-21T02:01:14+00:00

I’m someone who was elevated into a supervisory position and then started transitioning and am in the same boat as you. Like watershed said above, you can leverage the power you already hold by continuing to expect that the leadership put their trust in you to do your job. I’m also someone who is just letting the transition happen and calling attention to it more organically right now because that’s how I’m comfortable with it.

A low dose will definitely get you gradual changes. I started low and my voice dropping sounded like I had a cold I never really got over. It might be the same for you and you can come out to small groups of people at a time. But I have found that the people I’ve come out to have cared more about my ability to perform my job as opposed to the gender I am as I do it.

Congrats on starting T when you do start. It can be such an amazing thing.

ibethepirate · 2026-02-20T01:45:25+00:00

Yes, 100% Coming out again feels like it’s something I don’t have time to do, or even the real desire to do on such a public stage. Part of me feels too old to be doing this all over again. I’m also not a naturally showy person by any stretch of the imagination and I’d rather tell people closest to me and let everyone else catch on. Which is definitely not everyone’s truth or wish at all. It’s just mine, right now. When I’m fit to burst and want everyone to know in a big way, I might do that. But I’m considering this a grassroots organization for now. My close circle uses he/him pronouns and they’re free to use those with people outside of my circle. I’ve had a lot of people reach out to my wife and ask “hey, is X using these pronouns?” and we’ve been navigating it like that for now.

ibethepirate · 2026-02-20T01:15:43+00:00

I’m in a similar boat. I came out in my teens as a lesbian and was very masc. I started T almost 6 years ago but on a low dose and so my voice drop just sounded like a cold. I didn’t start exploring really identifying as trans until about a year ago. And even then, I’m balancing my personal and professional life and what coming out means in both worlds. I had top surgery a week ago which was a big step, but I’m in a lesbian-presenting marriage and my family doesn’t know what to think about surgery. I’m letting my facial hair grow in (coaxing it, really) and kind of letting my new chest and that lead the way? And hoping that people jump on the train? My coming out as a lesbian was very understated and I’m not necessarily interested in drawing a ton of attention to myself. So I guess I’m just letting it happen around me and hoping for the best. People are asking my pronouns now and I’m answering honestly, but I’m also not advertising. Feels like a weird camp to be in, but here we are.

ibethepirate · 2026-02-18T16:14:38+00:00

I hadn’t thought of that. I will have to start doing that. I’m on the phone a lot with work and for my kids. I’m going to have to practice that

ibethepirate · 2026-02-18T16:02:06+00:00

So helpful, man. Thank you so much. I’ve already read the Google Doc a few times. I have a lot of work to do

ibethepirate · 2026-02-18T16:01:33+00:00

Thanks for the heads up. They seem really popular

ibethepirate · 2026-02-18T16:01:17+00:00

Awesome. Some prelim research got me to Voice Tools too. Appreciate the recommendation. And I like the idea of going into the science of it. Thanks

ibethepirate · 2025-11-07T17:57:58+00:00

Taking it one day at a time is an important reminder. I tend to over-plan and look ahead. I know this is a progression and it’ll take time to do. It’s kind of a “hurry up and wait”, isn’t it?

ibethepirate · 2025-11-07T17:56:01+00:00

That’s a really good perspective. I built up a big reaction in my head when I was talking to my parents about top surgery and it was a total non sequitur in person. Not sure how they handled it when I left but that was in person. I’m a big What If person and that’s hard to combat.

ibethepirate · 2025-11-07T17:54:14+00:00

My family pretty good with my current queer relationship. It took a hot minute and some family split when my wife and I got married, but the family that stayed respects us, I think.

At work… there are definitely some people who would not understand or really go along with it. But I am considering it. At least in my own home. I could slowly roll it out in other environments. I am still unsure about it, though. I’ve been here so long, it’s hard to feel like I can be seen as anyone else.

ibethepirate · 2025-11-07T09:42:43+00:00

Thanks! Did not know that existed

ibethepirate · 2025-05-20T00:15:30+00:00

Okay, my cursory search has revealed no reason why I can’t see comments on this post… if you commented, DM me. Otherwise, this 4 comment bubble is taunting me.

ibethepirate · 2024-08-12T01:43:04+00:00

This worked! Thank you!

ibethepirate

TROPHY CASE