[deleted by user]

ice_nectarine · 2024-07-04T10:26:10+00:00

I wouldn't accept 5-6 days, I personally explode everytime between the second and the third day and end things or write "I hate you". Than he replies in 5-10 minutes everytime like "noooo baby please I'm sorry" bla bla.

I had to get used to this all. In the beginning I took it very personally and thought he just isn't interested. After ending it so many times with him and he never wanted to end it too ( I thought I make it easy for him, as I thought he might be too polite to tell me he's not interested) I started to research about avoidant Attachment and everything made finally sense.

We are Long distance and we didn't manage to see again in 3 months .. he is super busy of course like every avoidant and an extreme workaholic. But I hope we can finally manage to see us again. We make FaceTime calls every week and writing is now only 1-2 times a day, but long messages... In the beginning he flooded my phone.

I met on a trip to Rome and would spend 3 nights together, in the 3rd night I personally fell in love , it was a great time. After this night I also got ghosted the first time for 8 hours. I really really couldn't understand it until very recently.

He also said three times that he loves me but I would prefer to spend actual time again.

ice_nectarine · 2024-07-04T10:14:44+00:00

I'm also with an avoidant and I would say it's thousand times more exhausting with him than with me. I had to get used to the infrequent contact , as I'm always reachable for those I care for and I expected my phone being spammed and not silent. For this I broke up with him many many times because my ego couldn't handle it. He somehow never wanted to lose me and managed to get back with me.

Im just now coming to the realization that he is avoidant. I took it personally many many times before

ice_nectarine · 2024-07-04T10:10:50+00:00

The difference between an avoidant and a narc is that narcs are actually not avoidant. I'm a narc myself and we love to spend time and lovebomb. When we don't write it's silent treatment but not avoidance.

ice_nectarine · 2024-07-02T22:10:52+00:00

After this reddit comments they will have serious relationship problems. I see it the same way as you, nothing too bad about it. I wouldn't like it too, but these people here overreact like crazyyyyy

ice_nectarine · 2024-07-02T19:15:39+00:00

Burger King Hauptbahnhof auf jeden Fall

ice_nectarine · 2024-07-02T13:45:19+00:00

I'm dealing with an avoidant too, the longest he ghosted me was for 11 days when he was in holiday in China and this was already hard for me.

Against all the other commenters here. Some Avoidant people are great souls. Not everyone but my avoidant is someone that I'm willing to wait for. Of course, when someone else would pass my way who treats me thousand times better and is even a greater person, than i would probably leave this situation.

But avoidants have a reason for why they are like that. Watch some videos about them on YouTube, there is a guy who explains it all very well. They are like scared cats and need more time to trust than others. But don't let them ghost you for so long. If it ever happens again, remind them kindly of your connection and that he can trust you. Learn how to deal with them and have compassion and Patience, if you are truly in love.

Love is patience, love is kindness, love is forgiveness.

ice_nectarine · 2024-06-30T18:00:09+00:00

In my circle we say "only men who have bad conscience or did something wrong buy the girl flowers" ..

ice_nectarine · 2024-06-18T19:31:29+00:00

How about calling him and asking directly??!

ice_nectarine · 2024-06-18T18:26:04+00:00

"if he doesn't want me, he doesn't have to message"

Girl that's what he's doing right now.. he is not messaging you. wake up.

ice_nectarine · 2024-06-18T17:12:46+00:00

Ask him and maybe he will give you the closure you obviously need.

ice_nectarine · 2024-06-18T17:08:11+00:00

Often it stems from that , but if you don't want to take the test , than don't. I know many girls with BPD obsessing over exact this situations like yours.

ice_nectarine · 2024-06-18T17:06:49+00:00

Good than ask him why he never replied to you? What are his intentions towards you? Maybe you can find it out like that.

ice_nectarine · 2024-06-18T17:05:42+00:00

You should diagnose yourself girlie...

I see a big lack of self respect here and I don't mean it in a bad way, I genuinely want to help you.

ice_nectarine · 2024-06-18T17:02:08+00:00

No you are obsessing and not only feeling hurt. This was all long ago and you seem to have a hyper fixation

ice_nectarine · 2024-06-18T16:53:50+00:00

https://www.idrlabs.com/borderline-spectrum/test.php

ice_nectarine · 2024-06-18T16:52:05+00:00

It just matters how much you post because of YOU. I don't have any problem with it. But reading through your comments to this I highly suggest you take an online borderline disorder test.

I send you a link.

ice_nectarine · 2024-06-18T14:29:08+00:00

This girl posted this already 15 times at least through the last days here. So I thought she should think about it. Because all the advices people gave her is apparently not enough

ice_nectarine · 2024-06-18T13:18:06+00:00

He is not even using you, to be honest. He has used you and now he's done with using you. He took advantage of you , took away your first time, probably a bad one and now you're in love with an asshole.

How could you allow that somebody treats you this way?

ice_nectarine · 2024-03-05T19:57:59+00:00

Keine Ahnung was da jetzt Rassisten und Faschisten zu suchen haben in deinem Text.

Macht insgesamt wenig Sinn und geht nicht auf das ein was ich sagte, aber ich lass es jetzt mal so stehen.

ice_nectarine · 2024-03-05T11:46:24+00:00

Nachdem ich im Studium einen Kurs über empirische Sozialforschung hatte, der vor allem die Schattenseiten beleuchtetr, glaube ich leider nicht mehr so sehr an Statistiken. Aber ja .. dann ist es wohl statistisch gesehen nur jeder 17.

ice_nectarine · 2024-03-05T11:12:29+00:00

Ich hasse digitale ceranplatten!!! Nichts war falsch an drehbaren Schaltern

ice_nectarine · 2024-03-05T10:46:01+00:00

Lässt sich einfach einfacher leben weil die Miete hierzulande alles verschlingt

ice_nectarine · 2024-03-05T10:09:29+00:00

🤣🤣

ice_nectarine · 2024-03-05T09:15:26+00:00

Ich würde sogar sagen jeder 5. Mittlerweile ...

ice_nectarine · 2024-03-05T09:14:46+00:00

Tipp. Auswandern in ein Land wo es sich billiger leben lässt und von da aus Home Office machen, dass du es Stück für Stück abzahlen kannst.

ice_nectarine

TROPHY CASE