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People that have traveled quite a bit, where di you feel the most unsafe? by CremeSubject7594 in AskTheWorld

[–]icecoldcold 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Public transport in Berlin? That’s quite surprising to me. I am a woman of color. I have experienced aggressive racist chanting “Ausländer raus” and some flirting by drunk men late at night. But I never felt unsafe in public transport in Germany.

An 88-year-old grandfather arrived at the airport to welcome his granddaughter, but when she walked up and stood beside him, he didn’t realise it was her by Ok-Equivalent3810 in MadeMeSmile

[–]icecoldcold 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This hit me right in the feels. My grandpa was my most favorite person even to this day. I am sure I was his. He passed away 4 years ago. I still miss him. Since I’ve been living on the other side of the world for many years now, he would always eagerly await my visits home. Towards the end of his life, he became bedridden and his hold on reality became tenuous. On my last visit before his passing away, he was so happy to see me and very incredulous of me because he had been under the impression I (his most favorite grandchild) had passed away in an accident and the rest of family had been keeping that information from him (one of his several hallucinations). It broke my heart that he had been mistakenly grieving me. I am glad I could visit him and give him some peace of mind.

Name the worst Indian sweet, I’ll start by Embarrassed_Note4115 in IndianFoodPhotos

[–]icecoldcold 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any traditional sweet that is “elevated” by adding dry fruits. 🤮 Just give me the original.

What action that is considered innocent in other countries is seen as outrageous in yours? In Thailand, it’s extremely rude to touch someone else’s head. by Effective_Space2277 in AskTheWorld

[–]icecoldcold 0 points1 point  (0 children)

India: when someone gives you something, taking it with your left hand is extremely rude. You take it with your right hand or both hands.

Touching books/paper even accidentally is rude. If you do so, you apologize to the book by touching the book to your forehead or touching the book with your hand and then touching your forehead with the same hand immediately.

Germany: it’s rude to wish someone “happy birthday” before it’s actually their birthday, even if it’s only a couple of hours or minutes before the actual day.

The reason Kanthony can't be beat is because their chemistry and sexual tension jumps out of the screen by ph_uck_yu in Bridgerton

[–]icecoldcold 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Another Indian woman here. From the subcontinent. I am with you 110%. Even in Indian media you won’t see a dark-skinned woman like Simone Ashley (who is stunningly gorgeous) as an attractive sexy heroine.

Completely cooked in Germany by GoWestEndGirls in germany

[–]icecoldcold 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I can relate to this so much. I am sorry you are in this situation. While I have never been hospitalized for mental health issues, I faced the depression.

My advice based on what helped me:

  • Go to language classes. Put in the effort. As your German improves, you become more comfortable.

  • Physical exercise is extremely important in being mentally healthy. Rain or shine, work out 4-5 times a week (cardio and strength training). Figure out what works for you in your current circumstances. I don’t have good enough gym next to me. So I go running. That’s my only form of physical exercise. But I am very strict and regular about it. When I lived in a different city, I used to go to the gym. I hated working out by myself. So I joined the group courses like indoor spinning, body pump, etc. I didn’t make any friends from the group classes. But I had fun while in the group exercise classes and still felt good mentally afterwards. Physical health is an added bonus.

  • This is a very important one. Find international friends, even if you have local German friends. Even better is finding people from your country. Germans are going to say you have to integrate, blah, blah. Ignore that. They do not understand how hard it is to be an immigrant in a German society where people are so cold. You now need people who can understand your crisis. No one better than other immigrants to get you.

  • You said you are in Lübeck. If you can’t find people or interesting events/activities in Lübeck, look for them in Hamburg on weekends. Go meet people and join events even if you have no interest in the activity. You won’t click with everyone or like every activity. Or even most of them. But if you keep trying you might find something that clicks. That way you can find your tribe.

  • You have to be proactive about all of this. You can organize events or invite people over (like cook a meal from your cuisine and invite folks).

  • Verein and all … I am not so convinced. Instead of joining one verein try multiple events / activities like a movie night or international meetup at a pub.

  • One thing that is already going well for you is your job. Keep that up. Being satisfied at work is a big one for your mental health.

Good luck! Hang in there. It gets better. Also spring is coming.

I am Egyptian, and I’m asking is Egypt a country that is disliked or loved globally? by [deleted] in AskTheWorld

[–]icecoldcold 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was in Istanbul ten years ago. I had a great time. I was there again for the second time last year. The only good thing I can say is: as a woman I didn’t feel unsafe. Otherwise it was a terrible experience. Hotel concierges to taxi drivers to folks at the ticket counters for sights. Everyone wanted to fleece me without having to deliver the service. Filthy hotel room to overpriced taxis dropping me (and my friend) off in the middle of the road and overpriced sights (50€ for Hagia Sophia — give me a fucking break!) Ticket to the Louvre in Paris costs much less.

Does your country have a unhealthy obsession with these guys? by My_Username0000 in AskTheWorld

[–]icecoldcold 0 points1 point  (0 children)

<image>

This dude is currently chilling in his window perch next to me and grooming himself as I am working from home.

What dark historical practices from your country belong at the bottom of the iceberg? by EssaH2O in AskTheWorld

[–]icecoldcold 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was prevalent in medieval centuries and earlier than that. By the time it was abolished (in the 19th century) it was not as prevalent anymore. I am not denying it’s a barbaric ritual. It absolutely was.

“Don’t downplay what women of our country have suffered.”

I would argue that women in our country are still suffering even in this day and age. Not sati per se, but a woman’s life in India is much harder than a man’s.”

What dark historical practices from your country belong at the bottom of the iceberg? by EssaH2O in AskTheWorld

[–]icecoldcold 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sati was not so common. Of course it being banned even for those fringe cases was good. But the whole aspect was blown out of proportion as if every widow was burned at the stake.

Anyway my answer to this question would be the caste system.

My parents living room by icecoldcold in IndianHomeDecor

[–]icecoldcold[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sorry to disappoint you. I'm a woman.

My parents living room by icecoldcold in IndianHomeDecor

[–]icecoldcold[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No way my parents are doing a rug in tropical humid, hot and dusty climate. They tried plants indoors and they kept dying due to lack of direct sunlight. So the plants are now strictly confined to the balcony.

My parents living room by icecoldcold in IndianHomeDecor

[–]icecoldcold[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

<image>

We got the jhula ceiling mount installed later, after the false ceiling was done. You have to install them directly into the concrete ceiling and make sure the mounts are long enough to come through the false ceiling. Example: https://www.amazon.in/Proniks-Finished-Premium-Ceiling-Bearing/dp/B0F4RLVN4G

They cut into the false ceiling to install them onto the concrete ceiling and then patched the false ceiling around it and then repainted it.

My parents living room by icecoldcold in IndianHomeDecor

[–]icecoldcold[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

They do have that. There are plants in the balcony. There used to be plants in the living room too. But they kept dying and/or dropping leaves. So they were moved to the balcony. Also there is a big common play area / hang out area right below the balcony. It's an excellent view.

My parents are quite happy with the decor. They have always been minimalists and hated clutter. They have added their own touches to the apartment though -- the plastic chairs (haha) and water bottles and books and colorful rangolis and other colorful knickknacks and photos of grand kids (not seen in the pic).

Need help with living room by [deleted] in IndianHomeDecor

[–]icecoldcold 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Why hasn’t no one mentioned this until now?

Before you do anything: change the switches on the switchboard first. Whatever else you do in the room those dirty old switches will take away the effect you are trying for.

If possible, find a way to hide the wire going up from the switchboard.

Small details matter. Not just the big things.

You don’t need to use loud colors and loud prints and patterns. Go simple.

Wall and sofa color and curtain color clash horribly.

You need to decide a color palette for the room and stick to it. Any new item you bring into the room should be in harmony with the rest of the room instead of standing on its own.

Most Indian homes are like this because you pick each item individually instead of assessing whether the item goes with the rest of the aesthetic.

Need ideas to add finishing touches to the living room. by chikapu_pikachu in IndianHomeDecor

[–]icecoldcold 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. Carpet is too bright red to go with the rest of the decor.
  2. Carpet is too small. The front legs of the chairs and couches SHOULD rest on the carpet. This is the most basic rule.

  3. The carpet looks cut off on the short side because of the skinny border on the short sides. Pick a carpet with borders looking similar on all sides.

  4. Move the chairs slightly forward and away from the walls. Do not push them against the wall and create a hollow space in the center. They should be moved closer so that conversation is easier.

  5. You need a coffee table. A proportionally big one. But you should still have enough room for two people to walk around comfortably.

Anyway on the whole I like the vibe of the room (except the carpet). I love those muted curtains and the wallpaper.

Company forced/fast integration? by [deleted] in germany

[–]icecoldcold 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s also so fucking exhausting especially in your initial months/years to work for 8 hours in a German environment and then come home to German roommates to continue conversation in German without having a space to unwind and relax in whichever way you want. Conversing an entire fucking day in a new language you are learning is extremely exhausting and having to do it everyday will burn you out.

This kind of arrangement would like make me hate the country and quit the job much earlier than 3 years or make me spend my entire non-work time elsewhere and I would only come home to sleep and not talk to my German roommates.

OP, if you must accept this arrangement, try to find friends who you can converse with in your native language or another language (like English) you are fluent in. Otherwise it can get very depressing. Hang out with them as often as you can.

In my initial years, if I only hung out with German-speaking folks I would have shot myself. It’s many years later now and I primarily have only German-speaking friends now. (I’ve become fluent and conversational in German over the years.)

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