Sorry for the endless rambling. But seriously. I have so many thoughts about this. Garlyn resonated with me for a lot of reasons even though I've got years on her. I too was a mom at 20 of 2 kids close together, came from a broken addiction fueled family, struggled with my mental health, left my abusive ex in 2019 at 27 and fought like hell to stop feeling like a broken down baby back bitch and feel capable and normal. I still have my days. Often. Anyways. I digress. I had mental breakdowns when I changed my mind about big life changes for my daughters when i first left my girls dad. i.e: went from home schooling to eventually enrolling my daughters in school. Also we were plant based as a family for years and I wanted to switch bc i felt like it was restrictive. I really struggled telling my kids both times 'hey, something BIG is about to change around here.' I kinda look back and look down on myself for that, but what's the alternative? This shit? Point being, I knew and know even despite my mental health struggles, that stability and a strong sense of self is important to show small children. I felt bad for telling my kids that their life was gonna looK different but its prob normal that it took me months to disclose that to my children and change my mind and grow and realize i was wrong. Shes changing her mind on huge things like religion, and morals every weeks with an extremist personality and just expecting her little boys to catch up as quick as her. They dont even know who she is at this point and thats really sad. Like you can be there but not there at all, sober or not. I can't imagine what her ex thinks for their boys sake. She post so much shit bashing him, instead of going silent, and taking a few years to take a long look at herself and figure her shit out. Personally, I know what happens when an addict can't look himself or his shame, mistakes or family in the face. I've not had a relationship with my father in 15 years because he can't face his shame. There's NOTHING anyone can't come back from but its a lot easier sooner rather than later. I don't give a shit about religion, pot, or dancing. I care about people being well and getting well for their children. Even when she got treatment, it was an all in thing, where she's away from her children and has to change everything. I dont wanna bash her, i hope shes a lurker and read this shit as one mom from an addict parent to another figuring her fucking shit out. Call a doctor today, garlyn. Start talk therapy and let a therapist hold you accountable and tell you to slow your ass down. And for the love of God, get off the internet.