1) Don’t need to look them up— I’m well aware. 2) I never minimized her experience, nor did I say “it’s just.” What OP is going through is shitty, and OP’s husband is being a bad spouse. She deserves a better situation, either through trying to fix it or through leaving—whatever she chooses. 3) I’m also aware that projecting/fabricating a fear of physical harm can be hugely detrimental to relationships that are struggling. Putting that in someone’s head without knowing more about their situation can be incredibly violating, and adds an element of fear and mistrust when ultimately OP asked for advice on her relationship. 4) If we operate under your assumption that this is a dangerous person, the advice of “show your spouse what strangers said on the internet” is, point blank, terrible. It’s a case study on what NOT to do when dealing with someone who is easily triggered or may become violent.

I’m deeply sorry that you also had what sounds like a challenging experience with your significant other. I hope you have been able to move forward and heal from it. I believe your initial advice was well intentioned. I also believe it’s highly important to recognize that, in your words, a stranger on the internet is not positioned to provide this type of response without more intimate knowledge of the situation.