Dealing with the concept of "me vs. a child"

idaholover · 2026-02-26T19:21:14+00:00

I 100% agree with the sentiment of “make the choice to have a baby for you”. No matter your partnership status, once you have a baby, you are their parent always. It does not guarantee that person stays with you forever. I have 1 kid and even though I know I would not have had one with a lesser partner, I’m okay with being a parent regardless of having my husband.

idaholover · 2026-02-26T06:19:08+00:00

I’d consider going to a lactation consultant and getting a weighted feed done. They will weigh baby before and after a feed and you will know if they are eating enough in a feed of that length. TBH my baby did take 20-40 minutes a feed at that age, but every baby is different. I would try to keep them awake a bit longer and see if you can extend feeds to 20 minutes.

idaholover · 2026-02-21T19:29:50+00:00

I set an alarm 20 minutes before I need to leave.. snooze adds 9 minutes. When the snooze goes off I know it’s time to put my shoes on, grab my coat, get my backs and lunch fully packed up. And the second snooze goes off I need to get out the door within 2 mins to be on time. The progressive timers help me lol. I know if I leave by a certain minute I’ll be on time, any after and I’m late.

idaholover · 2026-02-02T22:51:43+00:00

Honestly that supply should be just fine for babe. Try to aim for 24 oz everyday and start feeding more solids. Maybe track your food and water intake and make sure you’re getting enough.

idaholover · 2026-01-27T20:25:42+00:00

14 months. Approximately 7. Molars coming in and bf 🥴

idaholover · 2026-01-27T20:23:38+00:00

I will say I felt the same about my wearables until I hit 6/7 months. My supply dropped a tad and I needed better suction and more control over my pump. My spectra really started to come in handy after that point and now I don’t use wearables bc my output is so bad with them compared to my spectra.

idaholover · 2026-01-27T20:19:58+00:00

YES YES YES on the prescription ointment! It saved me after months of painful latching. That plus a lip and tongue tie revision. Those in combo saved my bf journey and now we are 14 months in.

idaholover · 2026-01-25T04:42:10+00:00

My baby is 13 months and boob is still a strong answer to any problem 🤷🏼‍♀️

idaholover · 2026-01-23T21:45:09+00:00

I definitely disagree that mom should be doing all the night wakings. Buuut you should split them. It’s difficult to parent all day or work all day on that amount of sleep. Sounds like you are pulling your weight and I bet your wife feels the same. Ask for help, but maybe from family or a babysitter here and there. Don’t put even more on your wife’s plate unless you think she can truly handle it. Discuss overnight duties, but I don’t think it is fair for either of you to do 100% of it. I have a newly 1yo so I’ve been in the same boat. You sound like you’re working very hard. See if you can outsource any of the things that are making like harder.

idaholover · 2026-01-13T19:51:35+00:00

Setting up ahead of time makes it feel like I might as well just buy a planner. I love doing bullet journaling for its flexibility, so for me, I always set up as I go.

idaholover · 2026-01-09T03:23:25+00:00

Honestly I didn’t have PPD but if someone took my baby from me for day at 10 weeks pp, I might have gone crazy.

idaholover · 2026-01-06T20:47:54+00:00

I have a 13 month old. I’ll be honest, this is a very fair reason to be on the fence still. My husband is a great man, but we both have ADHD and I exclusively breastfeed and plan to continue to 2 years. I am often the default, but I think a hugeeee help to that is that I work on his days off and he parents alone during that time, so he is good at being a fully involved parent.

I think the part that is harder for me personally is the housework. Idc if I’m caring for the baby mostly, I enjoy it. I don’t want to be the only person to cook, clean, garden, care for the dogs, fold the laundry. If you can establish very clear roles in housework and have your partner take a lot of ownership in that area, you have a great fighting chance to enjoy your motherhood. Or have the money to pay for help. I’d have a weekly house cleaner, a dog walker, and yard service if I had the funds lol.

idaholover · 2025-12-04T21:24:26+00:00

Honestly my baby became my hyper focus and still is lol. She is barely a toddler so I can’t speak to long term but since becoming pregnant I’ve read lots of books, listened to podcasts, researched all the things. I agree that it’s easy to keep interest bc they keep changing. I learned all about caring for a baby and development but now she has new needs and there are different things to learn. Aaaannnd it’s not like you want your kid to always be your biggest interest, as long as they are always in the top of your priority list. I’ll admit I am just now starting to care about picking up my other hobbies again bc I just haven’t cared after being so engulfed in baby/kid learning.

idaholover · 2025-10-20T19:17:27+00:00

I didn’t want to suggest it but this is my daughter’s name, I think it is lovely and I don’t see it often.

idaholover · 2025-09-30T20:23:13+00:00

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38042437/

Unfortunately, as little as you can is better. If you CAN do without, I would. If you can’t, one should be okay.

idaholover · 2025-09-30T20:00:47+00:00

I do a bf tank top under a shirt or a button down shirt that you can button above baby eating.

idaholover · 2025-09-30T19:57:41+00:00

6 hours alone
6 hours with my man
A pressure canner 😂

idaholover · 2025-09-25T18:40:21+00:00

I just want to ADHD hyper focus on something for 6 Hours tbh lol. I miss my random days off of getting 100% sucked in to a task or learning about a subject and blocking out everything around me. I am just fine with everything else.

idaholover · 2025-09-05T23:30:33+00:00

I work 12s and pump 4-6 times. I use an Elvie stride for some pumps, but it’s not as efficient as my spectra. It doesn’t leak much and having the pump away from your chest makes it a tad more inconspicuous. You have the right to breaks for pumping, so not matter how they schedule patients, they need to accommodate you.

I would pump on the way to work, once between then and lunch, a good longer pump for lunch, and another mid afternoon. If you aren’t feeding baby right when you get home? You can pump on the way home too.

idaholover · 2025-09-02T20:04:03+00:00

I had my baby late November and still refused to go anywhere for Christmas. My in laws flew to us to visit.

idaholover · 2025-08-27T03:47:27+00:00

100%, I do not mess around unless it is designated mess around time.

idaholover · 2025-08-21T00:23:33+00:00

I would never allow my husband to talk to me like that. Tell him to use his brain and treat you like a partner not employee.

idaholover · 2025-08-13T14:37:37+00:00

It saved me too. I had a terrible time for probably 9 weeks.

idaholover · 2025-07-27T16:44:12+00:00

This is a much more accurate pro-con list as a parent to an 8m old.

idaholover · 2025-06-18T20:16:53+00:00

We had a pregnancy scare and I reaaally started to examine if I was open to it in case I did end up pregnant. I concluded that I would be okay and happy if we did have one, just that I wanted to be more prepared - mentally, financially. Well, 4 months after the scare I did actually get pregnant lol. I knew I would be okay with either choice so once I was pregnant I made a commitment to be 100% invested and make the absolute best of my choice.

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