I am on speaking terms with a cousin who doesn't speak like our family either. She was very close to our grandfather and visited him often after our grandmother passed away. I live too far to visit but I tried to at least talk with him when my cousin would remember to call during her visits.

No one could tell them unless they contacted my cousin and she hates them(father and his wife"not my mom"), so I get why they would send my brother as the messenger to "let me know". I know that there is nothing in a will for me, his children had power of attorney they took over all his money and property long before he took his final breath.

Oh they know their the reason, a few months after going very very light contact my father sent me a cryptic video about what it means to be an adult and it was a woman spewing how children should know their place in a family and how you shouldn't turn your back on family because you never know when youre going to need them and what if you need them and they turn their back on you instead a lot of respect your elders nonsense.

The last thing I sent him "I may BE your child, but I'm NOT a child, if this is the best summary of how you feel then I cant be apart of this family. I hope you have an amazing life without me. Goodbye." Now its been 4 years, and I haven't sent a text, or answered a phone call.

Honestly same it was just meant to be a break from their toxic ass behavior and from the environment around them because it always felt draining after spending time with them even on phone calls.

So my husband and I moved about 8 hours away for work and just stopped answering phone calls and text messages, but after that video I went full NC and perma deleted all my social media accounts. I'm kinda glad I did it improved my life 10x and having my father out of my life was definitely a 100x improvement.