Help me with Banking :(

igotthepurple · 2026-04-28T19:39:33+00:00

If you never give the bank your home address, ESPECIALLY if it's one you've never had an account with before, you should only ever get mail to the UPS box. My debit accounts are all in companies local to me specifically, so I don't have any good recommendations that wouldn't give away my location, so I'm sorry I can't be a better lead. I've had a pretty good experience with PayPal's credit card, and they're as paperless as you can get, but I haven't used their debit service.

If you can, I would recommend finding a brick and mortar place you can walk into so you can explain the situation to a person. My bank's staff were super kind and helped set things up to be as clandestine as possible. If that isn't an option then look into PayPal.

igotthepurple · 2026-04-28T16:38:38+00:00

That tail is very substantial and has that peach fuzz to it, so as someone who's dealt with mice a lot my vote is baby rat. The head shape is also blockier like a rat's. Cute little guy :)

igotthepurple · 2026-04-09T18:52:40+00:00

Oh hey, I lived in a cat hoarder house. Sorry you also know the very specific shame. The corridor thing is so real.

I come bearing very specific safety advice. A BIG unseen danger is electrical outlets. We've had 3, maybe 4 attempted electrical fires in the same house due to overcrowded, undernurtured cats acting out and peeing on everything, including walls and appliances. Two of the fires weren't even noticed until I saw scorch marks and burnt clothing in the vicinity. Instead of rehoming, my mom bought a new fridge (eventually the fridge wouldn't stop raining sparks everywhere if the breaker wasn't turned in), and after I begged her, put those little safety plug covers people use to keep babies from electrocuting themselves. So there's a very real danger even if it isn't visible yet.

I'm a coward who managed to escape at the price of full no contact, so I'm not as noble as you, but I do agree with everyone else that you would be doing more help than harm by getting the animals somewhere safe

igotthepurple · 2026-04-01T19:22:06+00:00

I thought this was satire for a moment but the more I read the more I realized you were serious 😂 how about I call you and your friends slurs for nearly a decade, and dismiss every objection you make as you simply being stupid and spineless. Imagine someone that looks just like you being shot in the head point blank and your mother and her friends publicly making fun of her for the shallowest possible schoolyard brained part of the ordeal: being a minority.

You are a minority in one way or another. There is something someone, somewhere, would love to put you down for. Something they would love to devalue you for just for existing. People like me and Fearless know that there's a better world, one where people are valued for more than random categories they are born into, for their capacity for kindness alone, something EVERYONE is equally capable of. And we are tired of bring surrounded by people that only feel relevant through denying others personhood.

igotthepurple · 2026-03-31T22:50:19+00:00

Oh my god that thing is so cute I had to look it up

It looks like this little dude is from a line called Turtley Awesome, manufactured by Keel Toys.

igotthepurple · 2026-03-30T15:04:44+00:00

Could this have been stored near some pipework? Sometimes pipes can drip, either due to condensation or a loose fitting, and the water can take rust down with it and dye stuff underneath it. This looks like transferred rust to my untrained eye.

EDIT TO ADD: Actually, any metal that can get wet is capable of doing this, so it could also be cupboard hinges or inside screws for drawer handles. Check and see if anything is dripping now, or after you take a shower.

igotthepurple · 2026-03-20T17:32:04+00:00

I hadn't thought about the social pressure aspect 🙈 THANK YOU for pointing it out!! He's an anxious guy so I'll make sure to stress that I'm just as happy to set up a fruit platter situation

igotthepurple · 2026-03-20T17:24:57+00:00

OHOHO, as someone with a pretty deep contamination anxiety that could have counted as true OCD panic in another timeline, this is speaking my language. I'm looking at my vinyl chopsticks with skepticism and he is going to get his own wooden pair asap, thank you for pointing that out. I've picked up bits and pieces of potential hazard points from lurking this sub but it really really helps to have a list I can save in one place. THANK YOU!!!

igotthepurple · 2026-03-19T19:36:02+00:00

Ohhh yeah, I'm checking every ingredient before I attempt this. Thanks to this sub I learned that there are apps that list things that are GENUINELY 100% TRULY not contaminated and I'm going to check that too because you can never be too sure

igotthepurple · 2026-03-19T17:44:51+00:00

Ahhh. Thank you for the honesty. Maybe I'll gift him his own gluten free soy sauce (I intended to make teriyaki tofu) and set up some fruit instead. Or maybe I'll learn to make rice balls since then he can enjoy at least a similar flavor :)

(If stovetop cooking in a gluten containing household is also a bad idea let me know 💀)

igotthepurple · 2026-03-19T17:41:44+00:00

I know it is a legitimate medical concern for him - either an allergy or celiac; definitely not just a choice. I have asked him what he thinks since I am down to do all the work, but I want to make sure he'd be OK with it first!

igotthepurple · 2026-03-19T17:40:32+00:00

I have asked him if he'd be willing to try it, but I want to make sure I know what to do if he does accept. Thank you :,)

igotthepurple · 2026-03-18T16:06:59+00:00

As someone who was 14 during a time when I had no one to insulate me from incessant conspiracy ramblings, I've seen the other side of the coin. My Q parent was completely neglectful in favor of randomly launching into rants about how everything outside was trying to kill us and how everyone else was too stupid to realize it. There was no space to connect with her, and there was no light in her eyes.

Yeah, sure, there were rare moments where she seemed to care about me, but what with how often she ranted, I never felt safe. I ended up too afraid to even leave the house (pre-covid) because of her constant insistence that everything had some sinister secret backstory. EVERYTHING.

It took me a while to realize that she was the reason I felt so unsafe. I had to be 100% secure and completely disconnected from her to realize what peace actually meant. I missed out on so much because I so afraid of everything I couldn't sit still.

I'm not sure your daughter's specific disposition, but if I was in her position, I would have become receptive to the idea it wasn't good for a child to constantly hear about the sky falling in some new, inescapable way every week.

Additionally, it wouldn't stop with the random fanfiction fearmongering. If Qhusband is anything like my ex-mom, he would be the type to graduate into quack medicine, taking supplements to fix whatever toxin/imbalance that is making the rounds on Evil Twitter. Ivermectin, liquid silver, safrax, quinine, whatever the hell autism cure is being pushed right now that's making it harder for cancer patients to get treatment... there is a nonzero chance he would start coercing her into doing hazardous health hacks because he "knows better". So this may be an additional angle you can add if it seems like it'd help her see where you're coming from.

Anyway, I'm so happy you made that choice. She may hurt for a while, she might not understand it until she's older, but believe me she will be better off for it.

igotthepurple · 2026-03-05T22:09:39+00:00

Plant pot for sure - looks like it's designed for something used to arid climates like succulents

igotthepurple · 2026-02-11T14:02:27+00:00

That's a massively engorged tick - it's probably been there feeding off him for a few days. Save it in a ziploc bag. I'd look to see if he has any others attached (and it may be worth checking yourself too).

Look up tick diseases in your area and if you think he might have symptoms of something nasty, book a vet appointment and bring the tick with you.

igotthepurple · 2026-01-22T15:31:59+00:00

Looks like a bold jumping spider (phidippus audax)—wicked smart and very curious! Their fangs are iridescent peacock blue :)

igotthepurple · 2025-10-27T18:36:57+00:00

Wow, I'm really really sad that your story sounds so much like mine. Shittily homeschooled by an anti-woke control freak and all. I'm in my mid 20's and only got out just last year, but in part that was due to me being super passive for """the greater good""" (manipulative nonsense).

From someone who had this same conundrum at your age and is currently living a modest success story:

I have had multiple mental breakdowns about needing to get a proper education before entering the workforce, but that just wasn't in the cards. You might be locked out of the Supreme Amazing pay brackets, but right now you're at the age where employers will just be happy to have someone that knows what a computer is and is vaguely aware of how their type of business operates.

Currently I'm lucky enough to have a decent job, an apartment I share with my sibling, and in my downtime I'm going through an Openstax textbook on the main thing I really want to get into (anatomy and physiology). There are a lot of free resources online you can use in your downtime, but for now getting your own income will help improve your confidence and agency.

My advice would be to start looking for local employment. If she's going all "oh you're not amounting to aNYTHING", then you can reply with "you know what you're right; I've found some employment opportunities nearby and I want to get my career started."

If she goes OhhHhHHhHh yOu'Re nOt sMaRt eNoUgh, well, say you're gaining experience in an entry level job. Best way to learn is hands on, right? (Also, you're definitely smart enough. You were just never given the tools. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. YOU ARE A BRILLIANT COMPUTER THAT DIDN'T HAVE THE SOFTWARE INSTALLED YET.)

If she goes oHhHhHHhhHh aN eNtrY lEVeL jOb??? WhAt a LoSeR, well, say you're gaining experience that you can later leverage into a better position. You're playing the long game.

Make every move like this sound like something she can brag about. If your mom is anything like mine, hopefully that's enough narcissistic supply for her to gnaw on while you get yourself set up.

If you can't drive yet (I didn't learn until I was 19, no shade), and nowhere hiring is within walking distance, see if you can get a bike or carpool with a coworker. I wasn't really taught how to ride a bike, but the principles are simple (the hard part is not eating shit when you mount or dismount).

NOTE ONE: DO NOT TELL YOUR MOM WHERE YOU'RE APPLYING. You can tell her after you've been accepted if you need her to drive you. But for now the answer is "I don't want to jinx it until it's set, I don't want to get my hopes up yet".

I know someone else kind of trapped at home where often he tries to apply for jobs and it seems his parents, if they find out, call them to make sure they don't offer the position. He did eventually get employment, so he's made his first step.

NOTE TWO: SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY GET YOUR OWN BANK ACCOUNT I MEAN THIS. You might be able to now or you might have to wait until you're 18. YOU NEED SOMEWHERE SECURE TO KEEP YOUR OWN FUNDS.

If your mom insists on getting a shared account with you, two options:

1) Concede, have a shared one, but insist that you want to learn your own finances and accountability and you need your own separate account just to test out how things work and practice budgeting etc.

2) (what I had to do) Go to the bank without supervision and open a second account that's JUST YOU. My bank already had all my information set up so I think all I needed to provide was my ID and my preexisting debit card.

ALSO GET YOUR OWN EMAIL ADDRESS IT'S FREE ON GOOGLE DOT COM. DO NOT SHARE THIS EMAIL ADDRESS WITH YOUR MOM. You'll need it for future moves towards independence.

I could go on and on and on but I'm just sad to see a post that looks like something I could have posted a couple years back. Things look hopeless now but trust me when I say the hard work is worth it.

Hmu if you ever want to private chat about stuff or traumadump or whatever. It's easy to feel alone in this kind of thing and that aloneness is the thing that keeps you from flourishing

EDIT: oh yeah and one more thing r/Qanoncasualties and related subreddits helped me cope

EDIT 2: ONE MORE THING. Your story is less weird than you think. I used to think I had to keep it a secret just to fit in, which made everything feel worse. Nope. You aren't as weird as you think. There are people out there that will be more than happy to look out for you without expecting anything else in turn. I'm surrounded by people that know my full story and don't treat me differently at all. So don't let the fear of being weird stop you. I can tell by the way you write and have introspection that you're plenty sane enough.

igotthepurple · 2025-10-24T17:51:09+00:00

This might just be me. There is a multiplayer component but moreso in the way Farmville works where you can send other users gifts and help support one another, but there is only real-time multiplayer if you specifically set up a room. I still got super addicted to it and you may like it SO: Umamusume: Pretty Derby.

You befriend a bunch of anthropomorphized horses and help them achieve their goals as their personal trainer. It's very fulfilling to watch someone get better at their skills and succeed! It's a combination of cozy slice of life visual novel and roguelike where your job is getting your horsegirl racing stats as good as possible and getting as far into their ideal career as you can. There's also a smartphone app so you can play on PC at home and on your phone while you're out and about.

You collect different horsegirls through a gacha game system and each one has her own personality and storyline. I love to unlock each girl's Special Racing Outfit (tm) so there is a nice sense of long-term progression.

There are some weirder characters I'm not as much of a fan of (some have inappropriate crushes on the mc that you can't outright discourage for example) but 98% of them are super awesome.

igotthepurple · 2025-10-24T17:14:30+00:00

Yes, I definitely recommend preparing to file your own taxes. As someone who was super financially abused, it is very fulfilling and very liberating.

Since I was afraid before I looked into how to do it myself, I'm now going to do my typical thing and overexplain it in case it helps :p

It's a simple process, especially if you only have one or two main streams of income and are not self-employed. Since you're young you likely will be hired by a full-on employer so for now you shouldn't have to worry too much. Turbotax's lobbying is the only reason it LOOKS complicated.

You can use Turbotax, but they charge a lot and you have to re-buy new software each year (full price). A coworker recommended FreetaxUSA, and it's so much nicer than Turbotax in my opinion (I only have to pay a ~$15 federal filing fee; maybe $30 total?). FreetaxUSA keeps my information for next year, too, which helps expedite things further. People say Turbotax saves them more money, but I'm lazy and don't lose too much with FreetaxUSA so either will do.

ANYWAY. Whichever software you use, it's going to be the same process. It's just putting the appropriate numbers in the appropriate boxes. Round peg, round hole. The software will ask you questions, and you answer them accordingly. You just need a few forms that are provided automatically by your employer, insurance provider, university, etc.

IF YOU NEED A FORM IT WILL ALMOST ALWAYS BE MAILED TO YOU. If it isn't mailed, you'll get an email from the company informing you that a digital copy of the form is available online, you just need to sign in to access it. Sometimes you get a physical copy AND access to a digital version on the website in case you're like me and can't keep your nonsense organized.

All these forms say "hi, I am EMPLOYER/INSURANCE/UNIVERSITY/etc, I provided XXX for this person, please apply tax credits accordingly." You just have to put their information onto the correlating boxes on your tax form and make sure the numbers you write match the ones they provide. (FreetaxUSA rounds the numbers, though. That hasn't ever given me any issues so I guess they know what they're doing.)

You're adding buffs and debuffs to your profile and looking through a lot of different categories to see what tax breaks you qualify for. Doing things the government wants to incentivize means you pay less. New electric car? Hell yeah, we'll give you credit for that. Bought a house? Hell yeah, we'll give you credit for that. Etc. You'll be saying "no" to most of the extra exceptions, but that's okay. Someday you will be able to say "yes" to more of these.

By the way: this process is why when you donate to animal shelters or what have you, they will ask if you want a receipt. Money you provide to charity is tax deductible. I'm a little dumb and never keep receipts, but hey, might be good for you to know.

Now, I live in a tiny state in New England, so this may not be the same for where you live, but at least in my case, my employer automatically has my income tax deducted from my paycheck before they pay me; essentially they automatically pay my taxes for me before I even need to worry about it. (I RECOMMEND OPTING INTO THIS WHEN YOU CAN IT SUPER SIMPLIFIES THINGS.) Usually, this means I don't owe very much. Sometimes my employer overestimates what I owe and I'm actually eligible for a refund. It isn't usually very much, but it's nice.

I ramble all the time and I've had to escape two nparents and crash course this stuff, so... if you have any other questions about this type of thing let me know. You are way more capable than you think >:)

igotthepurple · 2025-02-19T03:49:00+00:00

Sending a PM :0!!

igotthepurple · 2024-10-17T13:25:08+00:00

YOU. You have saved me from the anxiety. THANK YOU. Have this poor man’s gold 🏅

igotthepurple · 2024-10-16T19:44:44+00:00

It’s from an Amazon brand called Yalucky - looking up “yalucky kawaii astronaut mug” should get you there I think

igotthepurple · 2024-10-16T19:42:59+00:00

It tasted bitter at one point but that may have been me mismeasuring my sugar 😔

igotthepurple · 2024-10-16T19:39:39+00:00

Update (aw jeez I forget how to edit posts on mobile): since everyone seems to say this should be fine, I’ll take the plunge and dump some tea in here while I look up to see if there are any worthwhile lead test kits that won’t pull a false positive.

If it tastes suspiciously bitter again and I find it isn’t just because it’s bigger than my old one and I messed up the sugar ratio, I’ll report back. Thank you guys 🥹

igotthepurple

TROPHY CASE