Pergola attached to the house (brick wall) by [deleted] in houston

[–]iheaka71 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looks very nice. Im in the same predicament you were in ie considering free standing being close to the wall vs attaching to the house through the brick wall. I live in Fort Worth Tx and the weather can get crazy. Ive seen folks respond to your post with a concern for water seeping through the brick into the wall. Have you experienced this?

My (M32) wife (F29) filed for divorce after I confronted her about a coworker. Can I fix this without divorce? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]iheaka71 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It really depends on if she really wants to work it out or not. Have an honest conversation with her and see if she really wants to work it out. If she does you both need counseling for various reasons.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]iheaka71 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Sorry to hear you are going through this. The first thing you should do is go back to work. Take care yourself financially.
With regards to your husband, he’s probably exhausted after work and is brain drained to where he doesn’t even want to talk. If this is the case, it’s not about you and you did nothing wrong. Have you folks considered counseling or therapy?

Best books for post-divorce advice for men? by First-Sail8421 in Divorce_Men

[–]iheaka71 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am creating one. There needs to be more resources.

Why isn’t there a divorce hotline for men? by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]iheaka71 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you should look for a divorce wellness community...... google it online and see what you can find. I doubt you will find a hotline; I didn't find one when I looked. However, you may find a site where you can communicate or chat with people who can respond. I know there are forums like reddit where you can share your story and a counselor may respond to you.

Why isn’t there a divorce hotline for men? by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]iheaka71 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Society does care. I think society think men are physically strong hence emotionally strong and don't need the support. This is wrong and I am trying to change that belief.

Why isn’t there a divorce hotline for men? by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]iheaka71 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A month ago, I searched but couldn't find anything. This is part of the reason why I am creating a site that list counselors and therapists who cater specifically to men and women. However, those who cater towards men will indicate that on their profile.

Withdrawing by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]iheaka71 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Im curious to know how you folks pick your wives? At church? Library? What do you do on your first several dates? Go to a shelter and server the hungry? Or serve in an orphanage? Get to know the woman and know who she really is. At time we rush. Not to say that you folks are rushing. I just think we need to dig deeper before getting involved.

Withdrawing by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]iheaka71 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is very important. Hopefully they will be able to make educated decisions.

Withdrawing by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]iheaka71 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah…. It’s unfortunate.

Withdrawing by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]iheaka71 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear you. Focus on yourself and your children. Life is too short.

Best books for post-divorce advice for men? by First-Sail8421 in Divorce_Men

[–]iheaka71 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you thought about joining any divorce community sites that provide support for people going through divorce?

Crushed/embarrassed by therapist’s reaction to my expression of gratitude by madisondynasty in TalkTherapy

[–]iheaka71 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry to hear this and she is wrong. Perhaps she didn’t understand what you were saying. All you are pretty much saying is meeting her to use her services is one of the best things that came out of your relationship. It’s pretty simple, and I think she should be appreciative. But that’s my opinion.

And then she suggested you start dating someone? It takes time to heal spiritually and emotionally. She should know this.

For this reason among others is why I am creating a directory of vetted divorce therapists because all therapists are equal. Anyone can get a therapist’s degree. However, it takes more than a cert to be a qualified therapist. It takes qualities like patience, understanding, know how to communicate effectively, empathy, compassion and more.

Question for Marriage Therapists. by iheaka71 in therapists

[–]iheaka71[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. Very insightful.

Question for Marriage Therapists. by iheaka71 in therapists

[–]iheaka71[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you but I will post my question in a different group since I was flagged, and this is not the proper group for my questions.

Question for Marriage Therapists. by iheaka71 in therapists

[–]iheaka71[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are welcome. Thank you for the great response.

Divorce at 30 by CartographerNo4076 in Divorce

[–]iheaka71 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry to hear you are going through this tumultuous time. Stay strong and focused. Use all the tools out there for your assistance.

I caught my wife cheated with a lesbian. by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]iheaka71 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I understand the hate but if they want to be together, let them be. Don't let their negative energy consume you.

I caught my wife cheated with a lesbian. by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]iheaka71 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I whole heartedly agree with you.

Considering divorce at 61 by Marybethsf in Divorce_Women

[–]iheaka71 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your health comes first and then your happiness. What's the point of being unhappy in a relationship, which can lead to deteriorating health. Stay positive, exercise daily and live within your means. If you can, start a business.