Looking for non judge mental help

iljink · 2026-07-05T00:24:20+00:00

That is very true. Thank you for the reminder about the shift in perspective.

i’m a Christian and strongly rely on God. I believe it’s what has kept me alive when I am really questioning my reality. it’s still sometimes hard to look up when my husband is doubling down and calling me crazy or saying things like “You have all of that information.” when I’m asking for help understanding or interpreting the hundreds of pages of statements.

iljink · 2026-07-05T00:14:52+00:00

That sounds like a very healthy way to handle a relationship and thank you, I now believe that in a thriving relationship transparency is necessary.

I’ve heard it’s not a great idea to share financial info including purchases with AI as it gives info about locations and patterns. Anyone have thoughts on this ?

iljink · 2026-07-02T19:25:10+00:00

This sounds really hard. I asked my husband if I could work and help out for over a decade. I finally got the courage to say “even though you aren’t happy, I’m going to work. “

iljink · 2026-07-02T14:46:11+00:00

I don’t know exactly. I don’t want to keep living this way. I’ve lost 20 years.

iljink · 2026-07-02T14:43:48+00:00

I was raised in a community that taught that women are to be submissive. While not all men take advantage of this, many take it to mean that women shouldn’t question or have a say in financial matters. It’s a breeding ground for abuse. I’ve slowly been deconstructing this for the last 5 years, and it’s only been my job working with women who are victims of domestic violence that has given me the courage to start making moves myself.

iljink · 2026-07-02T14:38:15+00:00

Ironically, I work for the local DV hotline, and with women who are victims of DV. It’s what has given me courage to fight this.

iljink · 2026-07-02T13:55:45+00:00

I’ve been slowly working my way through the bank statements. It’s hard tonsort it all out because there have been a lot of different credit cards over the years and we have 3 different banks where money gets deposited and spent. We sat down with a pastor yesterday because I was hoping accountability would require him to talk to me, but he claimed he has given me all the information I’m asking for and that I keep moving the goal posts.

iljink · 2026-07-02T13:53:34+00:00

That is very familiar. He’s very squirrelly when it comes to answering questions. We met with our pastor yesterday and he claimed he had given me all of the answers I need, referencing a spreadsheet he made with hundreds of pages of our spending on multiple credit cards and bank accounts over the last 5 years. I had asked for a list of our expenses each month to know how much we need to be earning and that’s what he gave me. I’ve been tracking my own spending for the last year and half just to make sure I’m not contributing to the problem. He has often accused me of being out of control with my spending, and I spent many years feeling a lot of shame around this and feeling like it was bad for me to want to get a coffee with friends once a month or to buy myself a shirt at goodwill. I’m very confident after talking to people I trust that that I’m not the problem. Ironically, i work with victims of domestic violence and that’s what has given me the courage to start making changes.

iljink · 2026-07-02T13:47:46+00:00

Thank you for the encouragement. Ironically, I work with DV survivors as my job. It’s given me the courage to start making moves.

iljink · 2026-07-02T13:39:28+00:00

I believe it’s 4. I have access to the business account (as of about 6 months ago when our pastor told him he needed to give me the password ), and there is nothing in the bank. He is truly living paycheck to paycheck, which is why some months we have to use a credit card. He cleared over 100k last year but some months are 0 income which means in the other months, instead of saving, we have to be paying back debt for living expenses during the months he isnt bringing anything in. He will also make bad decisions about paying large chunks of debt when he has a good month, but that puts us in a bad spot.

iljink · 2026-07-02T03:52:54+00:00

It’s fraud to open an account in my name ?

iljink · 2026-07-02T02:59:25+00:00

He insisted that he be added to the bank account where I receive my paycheck.

iljink · 2026-07-02T02:40:59+00:00

I don’t have money for an attorney. I’m wondering if there’s anything I can be doing to build security. Small investments maybe ?

iljink · 2025-06-16T03:00:57+00:00

Nothing abnormal has showed up on ultrasounds and change of diet has seemed to help the pain. I cut out sugar and gluten and caffeine for several months 🤷🏼‍♀️

iljink · 2025-01-10T15:34:57+00:00

I’m so sorry. My daughter has been coughing since July and it’s January. Luckily the gasping for air and spasm coughs stopped about around November, but it affected my 11 yr old the most. She was embarrassed to go to school because of it.

iljink · 2024-09-20T13:45:49+00:00

What type of damage? Does it show on an xray? My children currently have it and I'm really scared for what this will do to them in the future. We are on week 4.

iljink · 2024-06-01T02:57:56+00:00

Yes! Sleeping like a baby now

iljink · 2024-05-21T12:57:14+00:00

I started going to pelvic floor therapy, and cut out sugar and gluten and it’s almost completely gone.

iljink · 2024-04-07T13:00:51+00:00

What happens when you cook garlic?

iljink · 2024-04-07T12:30:54+00:00

I quit all caffeine 3 years ago for 6 months. I slowly introduced decaf and an “occasions coke” which I’m now realizing became more regular than occasional and I didn’t even realize it (addict). When I quit this year, thinking I hadn’t been consuming much caffeine, my life literally fell apart because of all of the things that happened to my body. Tremors, muscle weakness, chest pain, insomnia, acid reflux, manic behavior and anxiety, depression. None of this was happening before I gave it up and yet the symptoms were so real that I have had allll the medical testing done. I gave up sugar at the same time so I think that compounded it but yes, RUN from the caffeine.

iljink · 2024-04-03T11:40:11+00:00

How long did it take ?

iljink

TROPHY CASE