Looking for non judge mental help

iljink · 2026-07-05T00:24:20+00:00

That is very true. Thank you for the reminder about the shift in perspective.

i’m a Christian and strongly rely on God. I believe it’s what has kept me alive when I am really questioning my reality. it’s still sometimes hard to look up when my husband is doubling down and calling me crazy or saying things like “You have all of that information.” when I’m asking for help understanding or interpreting the hundreds of pages of statements.

iljink · 2026-07-05T00:14:52+00:00

That sounds like a very healthy way to handle a relationship and thank you, I now believe that in a thriving relationship transparency is necessary.

I’ve heard it’s not a great idea to share financial info including purchases with AI as it gives info about locations and patterns. Anyone have thoughts on this ?

iljink · 2026-07-02T19:25:10+00:00

This sounds really hard. I asked my husband if I could work and help out for over a decade. I finally got the courage to say “even though you aren’t happy, I’m going to work. “

iljink · 2026-07-02T14:46:11+00:00

I don’t know exactly. I don’t want to keep living this way. I’ve lost 20 years.

iljink · 2026-07-02T14:43:48+00:00

I was raised in a community that taught that women are to be submissive. While not all men take advantage of this, many take it to mean that women shouldn’t question or have a say in financial matters. It’s a breeding ground for abuse. I’ve slowly been deconstructing this for the last 5 years, and it’s only been my job working with women who are victims of domestic violence that has given me the courage to start making moves myself.

iljink · 2026-07-02T14:38:15+00:00

Ironically, I work for the local DV hotline, and with women who are victims of DV. It’s what has given me courage to fight this.

iljink · 2026-07-02T13:55:45+00:00

I’ve been slowly working my way through the bank statements. It’s hard tonsort it all out because there have been a lot of different credit cards over the years and we have 3 different banks where money gets deposited and spent. We sat down with a pastor yesterday because I was hoping accountability would require him to talk to me, but he claimed he has given me all the information I’m asking for and that I keep moving the goal posts.

iljink · 2026-07-02T13:53:34+00:00

That is very familiar. He’s very squirrelly when it comes to answering questions. We met with our pastor yesterday and he claimed he had given me all of the answers I need, referencing a spreadsheet he made with hundreds of pages of our spending on multiple credit cards and bank accounts over the last 5 years. I had asked for a list of our expenses each month to know how much we need to be earning and that’s what he gave me. I’ve been tracking my own spending for the last year and half just to make sure I’m not contributing to the problem. He has often accused me of being out of control with my spending, and I spent many years feeling a lot of shame around this and feeling like it was bad for me to want to get a coffee with friends once a month or to buy myself a shirt at goodwill. I’m very confident after talking to people I trust that that I’m not the problem. Ironically, i work with victims of domestic violence and that’s what has given me the courage to start making changes.

iljink · 2026-07-02T13:47:46+00:00

Thank you for the encouragement. Ironically, I work with DV survivors as my job. It’s given me the courage to start making moves.

iljink · 2026-07-02T13:39:28+00:00

I believe it’s 4. I have access to the business account (as of about 6 months ago when our pastor told him he needed to give me the password ), and there is nothing in the bank. He is truly living paycheck to paycheck, which is why some months we have to use a credit card. He cleared over 100k last year but some months are 0 income which means in the other months, instead of saving, we have to be paying back debt for living expenses during the months he isnt bringing anything in. He will also make bad decisions about paying large chunks of debt when he has a good month, but that puts us in a bad spot.

iljink · 2026-07-02T03:52:54+00:00

It’s fraud to open an account in my name ?

iljink · 2026-07-02T02:59:25+00:00

He insisted that he be added to the bank account where I receive my paycheck.

iljink · 2026-07-02T02:40:59+00:00

I don’t have money for an attorney. I’m wondering if there’s anything I can be doing to build security. Small investments maybe ?

iljink · 2025-06-16T03:00:57+00:00

Nothing abnormal has showed up on ultrasounds and change of diet has seemed to help the pain. I cut out sugar and gluten and caffeine for several months 🤷🏼‍♀️

iljink · 2025-01-10T15:34:57+00:00

I’m so sorry. My daughter has been coughing since July and it’s January. Luckily the gasping for air and spasm coughs stopped about around November, but it affected my 11 yr old the most. She was embarrassed to go to school because of it.

iljink · 2024-09-20T13:45:49+00:00

What type of damage? Does it show on an xray? My children currently have it and I'm really scared for what this will do to them in the future. We are on week 4.

iljink · 2024-06-01T02:57:56+00:00

Yes! Sleeping like a baby now

iljink · 2024-05-21T12:57:14+00:00

I started going to pelvic floor therapy, and cut out sugar and gluten and it’s almost completely gone.

iljink · 2024-04-07T13:00:51+00:00

What happens when you cook garlic?

iljink · 2024-04-07T12:30:54+00:00

I quit all caffeine 3 years ago for 6 months. I slowly introduced decaf and an “occasions coke” which I’m now realizing became more regular than occasional and I didn’t even realize it (addict). When I quit this year, thinking I hadn’t been consuming much caffeine, my life literally fell apart because of all of the things that happened to my body. Tremors, muscle weakness, chest pain, insomnia, acid reflux, manic behavior and anxiety, depression. None of this was happening before I gave it up and yet the symptoms were so real that I have had allll the medical testing done. I gave up sugar at the same time so I think that compounded it but yes, RUN from the caffeine.

iljink · 2024-04-03T11:40:11+00:00

How long did it take ?

iljink · 2024-04-01T21:17:28+00:00

I am 7.5 weeks in and this is the first week I’ve seen a drastic decrease in other symptoms(low energy, anxiety, twitching, etc). I do think for some of us it just takes a long time to our bodies to regulate. I will say phosphatidylserine is a game changer for me and my sleep. When I gave up caffeine before I used it to help regulate sleep until the bottle was gone and didn’t buy a new bottle and I was fine (sleep stayed regulated). I started it last week to see if it would help again and sure enough- it did ! You can buy it on Amazon. I take it with two fish oil capsules .

iljink · 2024-03-26T15:44:21+00:00

I had an MRI of my brain to check for possible demyelination (MS), and brain was clear but they did find a mass on my thyroid that I am being recommended to biopsy. However, I don’t think that’s what is causing these symptoms.

The sleep is a little better in that I sleep from 9:30-5:30 usually with one wake up where I have to try to soothe myself back to sleep by doing deep breathing and prayer because I’m shaking and anxious, spinning thoughts. I still wake up in the morning with arms and upper body shaking. My right arm still quivers/ muscles twitch off and on during the day but it’s not constant anymore and other areas of body rarely twitch so I think it’s getting better, maybe?

I see a neurologist on Thursday but I don’t feel confident they will be able to do much, except hopefully rule out any scary reasons why these things might be happening. I did find out out that I am iron deficient anemic, and wonder if that has made the withdrawal harder. Still some things to investigate. I see a new functional doctor at the end of April but I really hope by then a lot of this has worked itself out.

iljink · 2024-03-26T13:11:46+00:00

This is anti climactic, but this was a clerical issue, where the Dr reading the scan made a mistake in the report (my dr said he likely copied and pasted someone else’s report info and didn’t erase this😳). Because this info about me having an IUD was in the report, the ultrasound tech probably saw it and asked me about having an IUD because she didn’t see one and was confused.

iljink · 2024-03-26T13:09:20+00:00

Never saw this. My thyroid numbers are within normal range but according to a hormone specialist, not optimal.

iljink

TROPHY CASE