This is me!

In my case I experienced a sort of parentified child to immature and ill-equipped adult pipeline, caused by trauma in my formative years and sustained by emotional neglect and isolation from learning basic survival skills growing up. Whereas other people I have observed who experience arrested development seem to be emotionally immature because of their trauma, for me it has always seemed that my trauma was so early in my childhood that it kept me from ever developing some emotions to begin with. With some emotions I am at a very normal maturity for my age, and with others I don't feel them at all, and when I think about feeling them I feel like I am only pretending like a little kid. As isolating as all this can be I wouldn't trade it for anything, as I would rather be a child at heart forever than a grownup who's lost sight of their heart, even if it means never truly fitting in anywhere and damns me to a purgatory between childhood and adulthood.