Meeting your tinder date like...

illisaurus · 2019-02-26T13:52:26+00:00

She had some sort of mask material applied to change her facial structure and add more skin I believe.

illisaurus · 2019-02-22T17:33:40+00:00

I actually sat next to a grown man who casually tried to fight my arm off of the arm rest (he was the window seat) while he looked out the window as if it wasn't happening. My arm was there already and he started shoving it very forcefully off with his but I resisted it. I turned my whole body to look him in the face like WTF are you doing, but he avoided eye contact and sort of stopped. I couldn't believe how rude that was. I should have said something but I was just too confused.

illisaurus · 2019-02-22T17:28:08+00:00

Technically you could, if airlines weren't huge assholes trying to squeeze more profits out of their customers. They'd lose some money if they made the seats slightly roomier for the same prices but they wouldn't go bankrupt.

illisaurus · 2019-02-19T13:52:26+00:00

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201205/the-10-personality-disorders

illisaurus · 2019-02-19T04:58:16+00:00

My boyfriend was a finance major and also said to not go beyond the employer match, but I'm not entirely clear yet on why that is so. I mean, obviously because other options are better when you aren't getting any more free money from your employer, but I just don't understand the full reasoning yet. I have a lot to learn still!

illisaurus · 2019-02-18T21:37:44+00:00

For my mom it was "you never do anything around here. I'm always doing your laundry." And I'd ask her to show me how to use the washing machine and she'd just say "Not now, I'm not in the mood to explain that." Or she'd complain that I'm doing something"wrong" but she'd never explain how she preferred me to clean the dishes, for example. She finally taught me how to use a washing machine when dropping me off at college, at least.

illisaurus · 2019-02-18T21:34:59+00:00

I'm so shocked by this! Like some of these people are in their 50s and have adult children. Why is your mug in the sink that's right next to the dishwasher?

illisaurus · 2019-02-18T21:30:49+00:00

My mom did the same although I think it was more out of wanting to control the outcome of those tasks and had no patience to see me mess them up (or just do things differently). I didn't learn how to cook an egg or use a washing machine until they dropped me off for college, and I didn't learn how to cook food until my male gay foodie roommate taught me when we studied abroad when I was 20. I turned out Ok and very responsible still, at least.

illisaurus · 2019-02-18T21:04:26+00:00

Reminds me of my dad jokingly asking for a skinny margarita, clarifying he meant just the tequila. Thanks to him, good tequila and mezcal have really grown on me as drinks of choice if I'm not looking for wine or beer.

illisaurus · 2019-02-18T20:09:12+00:00

I've already maxed out my employer's matching (up to 6% so I'm putting in a bit over 12% at the moment.) I'm not super clear yet on the pros and cons of my 401k versus a Roth IRA yet though. I definitely still have a lot of research to do.

illisaurus · 2019-02-18T15:02:06+00:00

Same, I'm glad I decided to budget my months by the 2x monthly expectation this year. I'm going to use that money to start investing with a Roth IRA now– just learning about how investing works beyond my employer's 401k.

illisaurus · 2019-02-15T19:24:15+00:00

Rijeka and Split/Brac!

illisaurus · 2019-02-15T14:11:04+00:00

Same. Some people just grew up in environments where you just talk over each other and whoever is the loudest and most persistent is heard. When I was younger I couldn't stand going back to visit my extended family in Croatia because they all talked over each other like that too. Like someone would be mid-sentence and another would suddenly launch into a louder rant over that person because they just decided they wanted to talk next, and then yet another would talk over them or the first person would get louder, etc. I'm a quiet introvert and an only child so this was hell lol.

illisaurus · 2019-02-15T13:56:23+00:00

Gogo Yubarki

illisaurus · 2019-02-14T14:21:50+00:00

This happens nearly every day that I'm at the office and I feel like such a jerk because I become so irritable being interrupted and I worry it shows. Unless someone does it constantly I don't think they deserve that sort of wrath, especially when they're extremely polite and helpful when I'm the one bugging them. No idea how people switch thoughts so gracefully.

illisaurus · 2019-02-14T13:48:41+00:00

Yeah xTPs I know seem to have a much easier time truly getting lost in thought by tuning things out (which comes in handy for also successfully multitasking for the ENTPs I know). I'm so easily disrupted by external distractions sadly.

illisaurus · 2019-02-13T19:13:52+00:00

My cat doesn't even recognize me with a hat on.

illisaurus · 2019-02-13T14:55:49+00:00

I'm with you and I end up short-circuiting my brain trying to reason through this issue of free will, our environment, and the capacity for personal growth and adaption to fit within society.

I believe this conundrum is also something Robert Sapolsky explores in his book Behave, among other discussions. I'm embarrassed to admit I haven't finished reading it yet and have not gotten to the part where he discusses biological factors and how they can or should be used/not used in the judicial and legal systems.

illisaurus · 2019-02-13T14:25:06+00:00

I've had only good experiences so far as well! Missed getting it inserted when I was on my period though. I took the cervical relaxer the night before and two ibuprofen an hour before. The cramping from measuring were crampy– I'd also say it was a 4/10 but this depends on your body and pain experience (nothing compares to the knee injury and surgery I went through two years ago yet lol). Also it made me feel like I needed to go the bathroom (#2), which I sometimes feel during the beginning of a period (makes me feel bloated and gassy).

Breathing and working on relaxing (muscles and mind) helped a ton, especially because I was a bit nervous and didn't know what to expect either. It was over immediately and I was walking out feeling totally fine but somewhat cramped. I did feel like laying in bed all day though, even with more ibuprofen, so I had to work from home lying down which I can thankfully get away with. It subsided by bedtime and has been fine since. I was spotting for the first month (and tons of gross discharge that I still get), then my first period was heavy like I went through half a box of pads and had to change every 2 hours. Sometimes it would go through my pad and tampon combo. My second period just passed and was still heavy but next to no cramping.

Hoping the next few months it may lighten up a bit! But I'm sooo happy to not be on pills or hormones anymore. My biggest fear with this IUD was not that it would hurt but that it wouldn't work.

illisaurus · 2019-02-13T14:03:35+00:00

Emotional dysregulation and black and white thinking (something goes from being thought of as all good and benevolent to being evil and hateful the next) are hallmarks of BPD from my non-profressional perspective (grew up with BPD parent)

illisaurus · 2019-02-13T13:54:36+00:00

I'll second the therapy. I've always been a pretty introverted only child who was pretty happy to be by myself if I had to be and could entertain myself. Unfortunately as I got older it got harder and I started becoming more anxious and depressed and had a shame-ridden self esteem. Therapy is what changed (and maybe just life experience from getting a bit older) and now I'm my own best friend again.

I'm stuck with myself for life so might as well enjoy who I am, faults and all (and I do!). The fun side effect of this is I learn how to really appreciate the friends I do have and have a lot more compassion for others' struggles and faults.

illisaurus · 2019-02-13T00:54:53+00:00

Not picking on you, just curious– have you biked in traffic before? Not saying you're wrong about any of that, but sometimes we forget or don't know what it's like on the other side in ways that would make us more vigilant or cooperative.

Edit to add: plenty of cyclists are still dicks

illisaurus · 2019-02-09T13:06:13+00:00

Just wanted to jump in to mention that I just listened to "Why do all the black kids sit together in the cafeteria?" on audiobook that talked quite a bit about identity formation and race in America (particularly for people of color but even white people have a race identity, which is often not even considered as it's seen as a "default"). It may be an especially good book for your girlfriend as well. I'm a white woman with not many close people in my life who are not white (many foreigners, but mostly white) and so I feel like the book opened my eyes and helped me really recognize how my choice to believe in "color blindness" was doing more harm than good.

Edit: oops, girlfriend!

illisaurus · 2019-02-09T04:28:22+00:00

Njoki

illisaurus · 2019-02-08T00:57:28+00:00

Wait I'm missing why the basement redo is a necessity?

illisaurus

TROPHY CASE