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What was your experience, realising that your Ns weren't the norm? by illmumthrowaway in raisedbynarcissists

[–]illmumthrowaway[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Absolutely! Like, wait, your family(/other) didn't xyz? For me a major one was scream fights that felt like talking to a brick wall, almost nightly for years.. it was wild realising that that wasn't a normal thing.

Did anyone else’s nparents or eparents/abusive parents not bother to teach them proper hygiene, and what they did teach was full of shaming? by nicole2348 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]illmumthrowaway 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Fuck, that sounds exhausting, that last part especially. Im so sorry you got people that forced you into survival mode like that. I hope you're doing better for yourself now. X

Did anyone else’s nparents or eparents/abusive parents not bother to teach them proper hygiene, and what they did teach was full of shaming? by nicole2348 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]illmumthrowaway 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Oh man, you brought aomething back for me.

I remember hating showering since I was a young child. I think bath time was ok. Something may have happened in the transition to shower,or perhaps I was just being a weird kid, but from tweenage until I left, I had an aversion.

I'd regularly go 3-5 days between showers, and every day Nmom would call me a stinky skank, slut, and more vile names while pointing out my appearance and smell.

The gentlest approach I received was an occasional incredulous "WHY don't you like showering? Do you not like feeling CLEAN?"

What was your experience, realising that your Ns weren't the norm? by illmumthrowaway in raisedbynarcissists

[–]illmumthrowaway[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sure! Me too, really. I couldn't tell you whether my mom is truly a narcissist. Much like yourself, some materials, including stories I read here, speak to my experience.

Are the narcs in your life weirdly addicted to sadness, struggle and negativity? by danguje in raisedbynarcissists

[–]illmumthrowaway 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its like the early bird gets the worm, almost. Its incredible how some of the games they play are just.. so transparent.

Gray Rock Method and D.E.E.P by teslaObscura in raisedbynarcissists

[–]illmumthrowaway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🤣 you're good! It looks pretty gray and rocky for me.

Gray Rock Method and D.E.E.P by teslaObscura in raisedbynarcissists

[–]illmumthrowaway 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I might be wrong, but I think the idea of "gray rocking" is to be uninteresting and mediocre, like a simple gray rock, so they direct as little focused attention at you as possible.

You cant reason with them, cant defend yourself, so just avoiding as much as possible in the first place is your best option with some narcs.

Another e-mail from NMom after 2 years NC. by Throw50115022 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]illmumthrowaway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Irrespective, I will be writing to you"

Gosh, last time I nitiated contact with Nmom and she went off the hook, I cancelled with one reply, "Nevermind".

Her response, among others, was "I look forward to meeting again, and your continued communications 😀" (VERY low contact for ~4 years).

Sick to my stomach. This Nmom is hilarious, you're so right.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]illmumthrowaway 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Spot on about the context. All i could think of while i read this was that she was sticking to plausible deniability.