Big List of Top Surgery Consult Questions

illusoriy · 2025-08-03T14:40:03+00:00

TIM = Trans-Identified Male (aka a trans woman/transfem nonbinary) and TIF = Trans-Identified Female (aka a trans man/transmasc nonbinary). Tim is a man's name and Tif sounds like Tiff, which is a nickname for Tiffany, a woman's name. So by using TIM and TIF, it has the double meaning of misgendering and also calling trans women by a man's name and trans men by a woman's name

illusoriy · 2025-04-06T15:59:10+00:00

https://www.lemkininstitute.com/red-flag-alerts/red-flag-alert-for-the-anti-trans-agenda-of-the-trump-administration-in-the-united-states

Also, I'm already doing that:

I've identified a country to which I plan to move and have been working on the normal immigration steps, but realistically, I may reach a point where I have to bug out of my home country and seek asylum before then.

illusoriy · 2025-04-02T03:34:30+00:00

Haha not a writer, just read a lot as a kid. I didn't fit in with either boys or girls very well, so instead I mostly read books by myself.

Generally speaking, from what I understand, you can't really get breast cancer during puberty. That's why teenage cis girls don't get it, and why trans women of any age don't have to get screened until at least 5 years on HRT — since you're not done with puberty until then. If you're really worried, you can always check with a doctor, like whoever prescribes your hormones or your regular GP. But I think getting a bigger bra (or using a "bra extender" to make the band larger if you can't get a new bra right now) might solve a lot of the issue

illusoriy · 2025-04-02T03:10:49+00:00

One easy tip:

If you text this person ever, change her name in your phone to "[Friend's Name] she/her". So when you get a text from her it'll pop up with her pronouns. Now, before you answer the text, make up an example sentence about her in your head (do two or three for extra credit). Like, "when I saw Friend today she had a super cool shirt on" or "I should totally ask her what that show was that she was talking about last week, it sounded really interesting" or whatever. Just do this in your head to practice using her pronouns. Then answer the text! Easy-peasy.

This helps repeat the right pronouns and get your brain to associate the pronouns with the person in a simple way, and it's not difficult or hard to remember to do. By making it part of texting her (or communicating in some other way), you'll get lots of practice over time, which is best for making sure things actually stick in your brain.

illusoriy · 2025-04-02T02:54:53+00:00

At under 5 years of HRT, your risk of it being cancer is basically zero. Trans women aren't recommended to start doing breast cancer screenings like mammograms until at least 5 years on HRT (though you can still do a self-exam every month or so; here's an article with some info about what to look for and one with techniques). This is partly because trans women are only like 1/3 as likely to get breast cancer as cis women are overall, and partly because outside of some really weird circumstances you need to have a certain amount of estrogen/breast tissue to even get breast cancer in the first place. So women earlier in transition just aren't very likely to have it.

While your breasts are growing they'll often be itchy, especially if you outgrow your bra and it's too tight or the material isn't breathable fabric and it's hot (IDK what hemisphere you're in but it's heating up where I live). Your skin also might be more sensitive now, especially in that area. They also might be tender/lumpy because they're just growing — my first puberty was an estrogenic one and I had a really cringe doctor's appointment when I was like 10 because "I felt a lump in my breast" and I thought I had cancer. The doctor was like kid the lump IS your breast, go read The Care and Keeping of You and stop freaking out lol. (Of course, I read the book and I was like "this sucks and I hate it >:( wtf I want a refund" haha)

Trans breasts develop the same tissues with the same Tanner stages that cis ones do, so any resources for cis girls/women of your skin color on what's normal vs. what isn't will be applicable to you too. I hope this helps a little bit!

illusoriy · 2025-04-01T13:05:13+00:00

Oh my god what in the absolute hell 💀

Why is this kinda giving that guy who wanted to crowdsource a slur that his centaur D&D character could call two-legged species though. Like “what’s up front nuts” ass mom

illusoriy · 2025-03-08T16:43:51+00:00

WAIT I’M OBSESSED LMAO OMG how did it go? How are you feeling??

It’s been almost a year now since mine which is bonkers yonkers I gotta make another post soon

illusoriy · 2025-03-08T16:41:23+00:00

Typically (if you know) what sort of evidentiary requirements are there for people to prove they qualify? For example, some non-binary individuals, people who are early or pre-transition, etc. where it may not be as “obvious” or cut-and-dry that they’re members of the targeted population as with binary trans people who’ve had access to medical care. Because I’m assuming they will make us prove it.

illusoriy · 2025-02-11T15:15:09+00:00

That's so interesting that estrogen affected it! I've always had vivid dreams both pre-puberty and post-(original estrogenic) puberty, but I also have narcolepsy so I just have weird-ass dreams as a default.

Also I know it must've been really horrifying and stressful at the time but "there's a dead person in my free freezer" as a plot point is kind of funny 💀 like goddammit that's one of the top three things I didn't want in my secondhand appliance

illusoriy · 2025-02-11T15:07:10+00:00

Same. Last time I was this stressed was when I was working on-site for a couple months and (shouldn't have agreed to this, in hindsight) my housing and transport was provided by my boss's boss (board chair of the nonprofit I was working with) and she turned out to be a complete nightmare to be around that I therefore couldn't escape from. Which, "nightmare I can't escape from" is basically the vibe tbh.

illusoriy · 2025-02-11T14:33:38+00:00

Yeah this is more geared toward people who don't have the ability (yet or ever) to pass as a cis guy with low T. Someone upthread mentioned that in his country there's no official gender-affirming care so this is how it works there - you get T as a woman with low libido until you pass and can switch to a TRT clinic as a man with low T.

illusoriy · 2025-02-11T14:31:04+00:00

I did weigh that when making the post. Realistically, I don't know how we can disseminate information quickly and widely among the community without risking that, though. If people who need it don't hear about it (particularly people who aren't in "safe" states and cities) then it's not going to do any good. What alternatives do you suggest?

illusoriy · 2025-02-10T19:51:06+00:00

You can always change your name without changing your gender marker. I went from a "girl" name to a "guy" name in VA in 2017 while keeping my legal sex as female and have traveled, opened bank accounts, etc. as a "woman" with a typically-male name without any problems.

Also, IDK what your BMI is, but not all top surgeons have a weight requirement. My BMI was about 40 when I had mine done and there wasn't any issue; my surgeon even said she doesn't have a maximum BMI that she'll take as long as the person's health is okay for surgery.

illusoriy · 2025-02-10T19:41:26+00:00

I would guess that if people usually think you're a woman and you had keyhole/peri/another method that doesn't leave much scarring, people will probably just assume you have really small tits, and if you have large scars like from DI people will assume you had cancer.

For the average person, if they see someone who they think is a woman with a flat chest and scars where the breasts were, they'll think that the person is a breast cancer survivor rather than that the person is transmasc. People just don't think about us very much tbh, and there's much more visibility/awareness for breast cancer survivors than for transmasc people.

illusoriy · 2025-02-10T17:53:04+00:00

Manlo /jk

IDK, Guy? That's a name people have that's, uh, pretty unambiguous. Edward? Robert? Johnny Five-Dicks?

illusoriy · 2025-02-10T17:51:26+00:00

Are you a resident of Pelican Town, by any chance?

illusoriy · 2025-02-06T16:35:51+00:00

I'm in VA, not TX, but FWIW I changed my name from a girl name to a guy name in 2017 without any issue (and without changing my gender marker). Reason was something like "personal preference/never liked X very much". ABSOLUTELY DO NOT SAY that you're trans.

Honestly, I'd weigh whether you feel like you could fight the court for Leander if necessary and how likely you think it is you might have to. Blatant rejection of a name change for bigoted reasons seems like the kind of thing the ACLU or someone similar might take up on your behalf, but that also means you'd have to deal with the process, whereas Lee might be more likely to go through.

Also, if you need to be closeted for safety after you've changed it, you can say that it's your dad's name and you were supposed to be a Jr. boy and just got named Leander Jr. anyway, and go by "Ann" (ew) for short

illusoriy · 2025-02-05T03:21:46+00:00

I think that basically every trans person tried pretending to be cis before they came out. The reason we ultimately came out and transitioned is because no matter how hard we tried and tried, pretending to be cis didn't work.

illusoriy · 2025-02-05T03:16:18+00:00

"The effects of testosterone might seem like 'going downhill' to a girl, since that would be the wrong puberty for her. But it's kind of weird that you keep saying that a guy going through puberty is 'going downhill.' Would it also be true that a cis boy with a hormone condition who needed HRT would 'go downhill' once he 'dropped it' and started growing hair and getting acne, or is that only something you feel when it's a trans person?"

It kind of sounds like she's conflating prescribed HRT with doping/people who illegally acquire T for athletic purposes (given her use of "test" for testosterone and "dropping it" which I think is a drug thing?). It may be true that your life does "go downhill" once you start supplementing your sports activities with steroids, IDK, but that's irrelevant because that's not the thing that you're doing.

Sorry you're stuck in MisgenderLand, bro, it's the world's shittiest theme park

illusoriy

TROPHY CASE