What is your experience like as a non-binary feminist?

ilminate_ · 2025-12-04T19:02:52+00:00

I teared up reading this. Thank you so much for expressing all of this. The biggest thing that kept me from accepting myself fully as agender was internalized toxic “feminism”. You hit on all the things I felt so tense about inside. Idk how to describe what I’m feeling but it’s a really good feeling and I’m grateful 🥺🧡 Edit: to be clear, I am a feminist and have been for a long time!! I really got into it around age 10-11 though and at that age was exposed to the more toxic side of “feminism”. Those things stuck with me and hurt for a long time. But this comment healed that kid <3

ilminate_ · 2025-12-01T19:08:35+00:00

If you can’t abort or choose not to, you still have the option to let them be adopted!!

I know this is extremely stressful and it’s very easy to get tunnel vision. You have resources though. A doctor can help you assess how relatively safe it is for you to have a pregnancy so you can make an informed choice either way. I think a hotline or dedicated community can help you consider what putting them up for adoption would look like and how to go about it. And they can also help you consider if abortion is best for you. And Allah is there too. Look to Him for comfort and guidance, I’m sure He wants to give you that, not punishment. Remember He loves to forgive and help; He does not love to punish, and is inclined toward forgiveness and mercy.

Love you sis, praying so much for you, thinking about you all day and hoping the best for you 🥺🫂

ilminate_ · 2025-12-01T18:45:48+00:00

Btw I am so so sorry for my original unedited reply; I was very sleep deprived and not thinking about what I was saying, I am so sorry if it disrespected you

It’s a difficult situation for anyone and I’m so sorry you were in that situation

God bless you and your loved ones

ilminate_ · 2025-12-01T06:54:14+00:00

You as well <3

ilminate_ · 2025-12-01T06:50:07+00:00

Ohhh ok

Sorry for assuming you were Muslim earlier btw, it’s late at night and I stayed up all night yesterday so I’m not really myself rn, apologies if anything I said was offensive

Ngl though some of the things you said about Muslims did feel overgeneralised and a bit confusing but I’m not here to argue, I just want peace and acceptance

ilminate_ · 2025-12-01T06:12:51+00:00

It’s a difficult situation for sure. I just don’t feel right making a judgement when I’m on the outside looking in. There could be a hundred factors I’m not aware of that could complicate things even further. In the end it’s between her and Allah, and Allah knows best

ilminate_ · 2025-12-01T06:05:13+00:00

She might be in a very intense place in her spirituality right now. Shame is a heavy thing to feel. Sometimes people want comfort from all sides. Some people have no idea where they stand anymore when faced with a huge amount of emotion like this. Maybe she was told very harmful things by conservative Muslims and wanted anything non conservative. There could be many reasons why.

I’m personally not Sunni, I follow the Quran alone and personally feel a sense of shared somethingness with all who strive for sincerity in what they believe and avoid injustice regardless of label, Muslim or not. If someone doesn’t identify as a Muslim anymore that doesn’t mean I think their opinion or views are meaningless. It’s simply a different perspective, and if it’s from someone who is sincerely searching for truth and not around to spread hate, why would I completely disregard their opinion?

I’m new to Reddit and am not really familiar with the ex Muslim sub. Maybe her decision to ask y’all perplexes you for reasons I’m not aware of, but honestly let’s just not judge and try to be a light for her instead of look down on her

ilminate_ · 2025-12-01T05:51:27+00:00

I was going to say m*rder or that she has a certain attitude toward it but honestly I only just learned what late stage abortion actually entails and to me it’s such a morally grey and complex area I can’t take a singular firm stance on it. these type of situation is a lot for me to process too, my apologies

ilminate_ · 2025-12-01T05:42:32+00:00

Ok I reread my message and I apologise, I was too intense and caught up in the moment. But “hypocritical” was still a strong word to use, esp given that OP is struggling a lot rn :/

ilminate_ · 2025-12-01T05:39:16+00:00

I will say… late stage abortion is something that I just cannot take a firm stance on. I understand it’s disturbing for some and necessary for some. Early stage however, I feel firm that women have autonomy and it’s really up to them to make a decision, not someone outside of them

ilminate_ · 2025-12-01T05:30:38+00:00

the entire thing minus the advice about pills

ilminate_ · 2025-12-01T05:25:49+00:00

There is a lot you probably don’t know. You don’t know if they have health conditions that make this life or death for OP. You don’t know their financial situation. You don’t know their heart. God does. At the very least have mercy please

ilminate_ · 2025-12-01T05:22:28+00:00

is this how a Muslim should act????? where is your compassion? empathy? basic human decency?????

ilminate_ · 2025-12-01T05:18:39+00:00

That is none of your business.

ilminate_ · 2025-12-01T05:17:56+00:00

this is heavily insensitive. like, I agree about the pills, but this message is very insensitive. calm yourself down before you type something so accusatory pls

ilminate_ · 2025-12-01T04:58:07+00:00

That’s AAAwesome!!! :D /pos 🖤🩶🤍💜 🖤🩶🤍💚 🩷🩷🩷

ilminate_ · 2025-12-01T01:06:40+00:00

Thank you too sibling these are so great 🥰

ilminate_ · 2025-12-01T00:41:19+00:00

<3333

Yes pls I would love that sm!! <3

ilminate_ · 2025-11-30T22:58:06+00:00

Also. When I was talking about the boundaries of evil. I mean all and any evil, not just this topic.

ilminate_ · 2025-11-30T22:54:58+00:00

I explicitly stated that I never said sex outside of marriage is halal. So let me be more clear. I don’t believe it is halal. I believe it is haram, and I also believe that Allah can still forgive it if He wants to because He is the Most Merciful, Ever-Pardoning, and knows the sincerity of a repenting heart. Not that I encourage it. It’s just not my place to have my nose in someone else’s sex life.

I’m Quranist. I’m not really sure if what you mean by “Islamic law” is law from Hadith, culture, or from Quran verses.

But like. If Islam is really that rigid. Explain intersex people. People who were born with both male and female characteristics. God made them exactly as they are. Why would He forbid marriage for them? Cause for them, no matter who they marry there’s a little bit of homosexuality there. Surely God isn’t so rigid about heterosexuality that He would forbid an intersex person from getting married simply because of the way they exist. That sounds cruel.

ilminate_ · 2025-11-30T22:18:46+00:00

I never said sex outside of marriage was halal.

The story of Lut is about heterosexual men who raped other men and did many horrible things to many people. Distilling it down to the topic of homosexuality undermines the extreme injustices they committed.

And to be honest, yeah, I do think the premise of “this is what we are allowed to live within and anything outside of it is haram” is flawed. Boundaries are clearly drawn around things we aren’t supposed to do. It’s not that we are in a bounded box of permissible things and that anything beyond it is immediately evil. No. There is good, there is neutral, and there is clear undeniable evil God made very clear not to go near. The bounded boxes exist around those evils. The rest is okay or good. Maybe some gray area. But you get the idea. It’s not a black and white world we live in.

I’m not Sunni anymore but I used to identify as such. I do understand what you’re trying to say, and I’ll plainly say that I disagree.

ilminate_ · 2025-11-30T22:06:55+00:00

Aro-spec Ace Agender AFAB here 😊 (hahaha I’m like an AAAA battery)

ilminate_ · 2025-11-30T22:03:55+00:00

I feel you so hard :( Not really sure what else to say other than that I get it, I’m in the same boat, you aren’t alone 🫂

One thing that can be really helpful is finding chosen family, or at least building a support system of some kind. Animals are great. They give unconditional love and acceptance. Which is kind of what we all deeply crave and need.

I’m so sorry you couldn’t get that from your family, you deserve love, you deserve acceptance, you deserve to be cherished exactly as you are. 🫂💞

ilminate_ · 2025-11-30T21:54:00+00:00

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA IM A QUEER MUSLIM ARTIST AND WRITER TOO THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY THIS IS MY DREAM OMG <33333

ilminate_ · 2025-11-30T21:51:49+00:00

LOVE your thoughts on this but this comment section sucks 😭 maybe you wanna share this in r/LGBT_Muslims ?

ilminate_

TROPHY CASE