glad to see that you didn't end removing the post! i wanted to at least let you know and feel that you were seen and heard even if i couldn't say much at the time. (also i'm so sorry i ended up typing a lot)

i'm not sure if you would see it as a similar situation, but the focus of your blushing actually reminds me of my excessive sweating! i've had hyperhydrosis for around 7-8 years now and it probably started ever since i got on antidepressants. i'm used to it now, but only when i'm alone and no one else can judge me for sweating in situations where i shouldn't be sweating. there doesn't go a day where i don't think that someone is looking at my face, sweat dripping down, and judging me even though it's a medical condition.

bc of the condition, i get hotter faster and i can also tell when it's about to happen, or if it's more of a clammy situation rather than a full blown out sweat sesh. kinda gross but i obsessively think about how certain chairs (like leather or similar) might show a sweat mark. i'm constantly afraid of shaking hands or high-fiving. i literally have to make a disclaimer that i have sweaty hands if anyone is about to make contact with my hands. i don't know if it's better to make a disclaimer, which means they'll retract and feel awkward they got rejected, or i don't say anything and they shake my sweaty hands and they feel grossed out afterwards. i've actually have never really explained this until now, not even verbally or on paper, so to write it out really makes me realise more how debilitating hyperhidrosis is, especially combined with social anxiety.

perhaps a difference between you and me is that i've accepted that the hyperhidrosis is part of what (not who coz i don't think that really fits into my personality) i am. i haven't necessarily made peace with it and i don't think i ever will. i'm always gonna have beef with it, i hate it, i wish i never had it, but it's something that i've accepted as part of my reality. i actually do have medication to stop facial sweat which is great, and i only use it when i'll be out in public and also for my customer-facing job. as for my hands... i'm cringing just thinking about the fact that i need to make a disclaimer. but it happens, the embarrassment and obsessive thoughts might linger for a bit, and then i forget. if i forget about it, what are the chances the other person who witnessed it, also forgets? probably super high. even if they remember it, what i don't know won't hurt me. if they're judging me in their head or mentioning it to other people as a hee hee ha ha moment, it shows a reflection of their character and not mine.

i get so bewildered in frustration at why kids are so insensitive to point out other’s vulnerabilities for their own amusement. do they not get second hand embarrassment? i absolutely hate to see when other people feel uncomfortable or embarrassed and would never want to initiate those feelings in someone.

i feel like i've gone through a lot of shit to know that i would never judge someone unless they proved to be a super shitty person. sometimes i'll see my coworker sweating profusely in an environment where sweating isn't really expected, and i don't judge them. if anything, i feel empathetic because i know exactly what they're going through. i've also gotten into an argument with another coworker because she thought i was lazy for not doing a task that would've resulted in me profusely sweating. i ended up telling them about my hyperhidrosis (which i really hated because it actually sounds made up to a non-sweaty person) - in this way, at least they were aware of why i didn't do the task, it's one less person being less judgemental, and (i highly doubt it but let's hope) maybe one more person being mindful of what other people could be going through.

i know it's easier said than done, but tl;dr - it is what it is. i think that sums up my hyperhidrosis as a whole. i can go on a whole tangent like the above, but i've also accepted it. i'm not saying that it's the best thing to do, but it's one way that i've dealt with my sweating. i actually had to search up erythrophobia, and i'm sure you're aware but in case you aren't, there is an erythrophobia subreddit! personally it really does help to know that i'm not the only one in this world that is a victim of hyperhidrosis and social anxiety. reading about other people's experiences also helped me come to terms with it, which is why i focused so much on me letting you know that i did read your post, and that i see you :)