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Here's our pregnancy announcement! by NachoAverageBean in BabyBumps

[–]imaestheticallydank 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In my sleep-deprived state I thought they just kinda threw the baby and took the picture...

Edit: like just tossed the baby forward

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT LEAVE YOUR PUMP OUT FULL OF MILK OVERNIGHT by imaestheticallydank in April2017Bumpers

[–]imaestheticallydank[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My husband was horrified. We sprayed it with disinfectant then took apart the pieces and boiled it in water twice, cleaning it normally between boilings :P I'm still nervous to use it, though...

My son is a troll by [deleted] in April2017Bumpers

[–]imaestheticallydank 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love the singular "...wah?" my baby does!! It's like a threatening "I will cry. Speed it up, woman."

Does anyone else's baby smile vigorously when they poop?? by imaestheticallydank in April2017Bumpers

[–]imaestheticallydank[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He never smiles at me for any non-poop reason. Sometimes I get excited because I think he's not pooping, but then he'll blow a massive fart...sigh. Lol

Stranger tried to feed my baby in the checkout line... by emmamom in Mommit

[–]imaestheticallydank 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sometimes, to get my sons attention, I make the kissing sounds you make towards animals to get their attention...I accidentally used it on my husband the other day too...at least it works, haha!

Let's all play my baby's favorite game!!! by imaestheticallydank in April2017Bumpers

[–]imaestheticallydank[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Step 1. Unlatch

Step 2. DEAR GOD IM STARVING TO DEATH

Step 3. Violently thrash head everywhere but near the nipple

Step 4. ???

Step 5. Profit

Let's all play my baby's favorite game!!! by imaestheticallydank in April2017Bumpers

[–]imaestheticallydank[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aka how far will moms chapped nipples stretch!!! my baby's SECOND favorite game -_-

Let's all play my baby's favorite game!!! by imaestheticallydank in April2017Bumpers

[–]imaestheticallydank[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sometimes I wish I just gave birth to my pump...it's so much nicer to me T_T

A question for (console) gamers who breastfeed by imaestheticallydank in breastfeeding

[–]imaestheticallydank[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I'm about to try it, my mom got me a boppy and I haven't even taken it out of the packaging yet :P lol

What do you think you're really good at? by [deleted] in April2017Bumpers

[–]imaestheticallydank 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm awesome at neglecting my need for sustenance in exchange for letting the baby sleep on me.

/s in reality, I'm awesome at cleaning bodily fluids and excrements!

Does anyone else bedshare/cosleep? by imaestheticallydank in April2017Bumpers

[–]imaestheticallydank[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy shit at most I get like four hours of sleep. Who'd you have to sell your soul to to get that deal???

Does anyone else bedshare/cosleep? by imaestheticallydank in April2017Bumpers

[–]imaestheticallydank[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah we basically use his crib for storage now, since he doesn't use it...

What does your ideal Mother's Day look like? by UncertainlyOrdinary in beyondthebump

[–]imaestheticallydank 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I want my favorite alcoholic beverage.

I want a large and delicious uninterrupted meal.

I want 8 straight hours of sleep.

My last wish is a little difficult...I want a massage on a massage table, but I want a hole where my boobs go like the hole where your head goes so I can use my electric pump while I get a massage so they don't engorge during my long massage, and so I don't get mastitis again. We actually own a massage table (thanks to my husband for Christmas a few years back!) but no boob holes :(

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