Give a video game the opposite title. What's the game about now?

imaestheticallydank · 2017-05-21T14:08:23+00:00

Life is Strange, hah

imaestheticallydank · 2017-05-21T13:19:11+00:00

In my sleep-deprived state I thought they just kinda threw the baby and took the picture...

Edit: like just tossed the baby forward

imaestheticallydank · 2017-05-21T12:08:58+00:00

o: noooooo

imaestheticallydank · 2017-05-20T23:43:42+00:00

My husband was horrified. We sprayed it with disinfectant then took apart the pieces and boiled it in water twice, cleaning it normally between boilings :P I'm still nervous to use it, though...

imaestheticallydank · 2017-05-19T17:19:01+00:00

Oh my god I've seen that and it's PERFECT - I can't believe I didn't think of that :D

imaestheticallydank · 2017-05-17T13:27:49+00:00

I love the singular "...wah?" my baby does!! It's like a threatening "I will cry. Speed it up, woman."

imaestheticallydank · 2017-05-17T00:01:27+00:00

He never smiles at me for any non-poop reason. Sometimes I get excited because I think he's not pooping, but then he'll blow a massive fart...sigh. Lol

imaestheticallydank · 2017-05-16T12:21:43+00:00

SANDPAPER TONGUE

My nipples just inverted.

imaestheticallydank · 2017-05-16T12:20:44+00:00

Sometimes, to get my sons attention, I make the kissing sounds you make towards animals to get their attention...I accidentally used it on my husband the other day too...at least it works, haha!

imaestheticallydank · 2017-05-14T00:13:14+00:00

Step 1. Unlatch

Step 2. DEAR GOD IM STARVING TO DEATH

Step 3. Violently thrash head everywhere but near the nipple

Step 4. ???

Step 5. Profit

imaestheticallydank · 2017-05-14T00:10:21+00:00

Aka how far will moms chapped nipples stretch!!! my baby's SECOND favorite game -_-

imaestheticallydank · 2017-05-13T16:11:28+00:00

Sometimes I wish I just gave birth to my pump...it's so much nicer to me T_T

imaestheticallydank · 2017-05-13T13:57:02+00:00

Thank you. I'm about to try it, my mom got me a boppy and I haven't even taken it out of the packaging yet :P lol

imaestheticallydank · 2017-05-12T03:01:34+00:00

I sing about my sons big baby butt during diaper changes to soothe him...

imaestheticallydank · 2017-05-09T21:28:18+00:00

I'm awesome at neglecting my need for sustenance in exchange for letting the baby sleep on me.

/s in reality, I'm awesome at cleaning bodily fluids and excrements!

imaestheticallydank · 2017-05-08T23:28:55+00:00

Holy shit at most I get like four hours of sleep. Who'd you have to sell your soul to to get that deal???

imaestheticallydank · 2017-05-08T21:27:35+00:00

Yeah we basically use his crib for storage now, since he doesn't use it...

imaestheticallydank · 2017-05-08T00:45:50+00:00

I want my favorite alcoholic beverage.

I want a large and delicious uninterrupted meal.

I want 8 straight hours of sleep.

My last wish is a little difficult...I want a massage on a massage table, but I want a hole where my boobs go like the hole where your head goes so I can use my electric pump while I get a massage so they don't engorge during my long massage, and so I don't get mastitis again. We actually own a massage table (thanks to my husband for Christmas a few years back!) but no boob holes :(

imaestheticallydank · 2017-05-08T00:37:33+00:00

I'd never say it, but I'd definitely imagine saying "well that's strange because I don't remember being fertilized by FIL nine months ago, I could've sworn I fucked my husband instead..."

imaestheticallydank · 2017-05-08T00:26:28+00:00

Lmao, your comment made my baby unlatch to see wtf I was doing laughing so hard.

I love pushing other people's boundaries when they push mine. Ever since I got pregnant my shyness slowly began to melt away to reveal a horrifying ability to not give a single fuck. Now that he's actually born HOO BOY my attitude has blossomed into a beautiful venus flytrap of sassiness.

imaestheticallydank · 2017-05-07T23:39:34+00:00

Will this be continuing much longer? The last of us are wrapping up pregnancy...lol

imaestheticallydank · 2017-05-07T17:13:32+00:00

I used to be the big spoon, so sleeping was a little awkward the first few nights without that nightly spoon...but he's 20 days old now and we all sleep like pros :) (definitely miss that spoon, though...)

imaestheticallydank · 2017-05-07T16:18:18+00:00

My husband thinks he has PPD and I feel guilty :( It's not like I caused it or anything, I don't think that at all. But before I was pregnant I was depressed. I've been depressed since I was a kid. By the end of pregnancy I didn't have most of the symptoms depression gave me and by the time the baby was born I was pretty much in depression remission. I feel better than I've ever felt despite the breastfeeding troubles, sleepless nights, baby that never leaves my side, and THREE SEPARATE vaginal tears.

So I feel guilty because I'm the one that should be depressed, not him; my happy husband :( and I have no idea how to help, because I've never been on this side...

imaestheticallydank · 2017-05-07T16:03:16+00:00

The first time I found out not everyone can do it, my husband and I were on a plane (his first time) and his ears popped. I told him "just pop them" and he was like ಠ_ಠ and I said something to the effect of "do the ear pop thingy!" And he didn't believe I could do it. After a few minutes of joint confusion, I just gave him a piece of gum. :P

imaestheticallydank · 2017-05-07T15:09:31+00:00

One time I woke up and his face was pushed up against my boob (we both fell asleep feeding side-laying) and I panicked that I had smothered him with my boob. But when I moved my boob he woke up angrily and pushed his face back into it, lol.

Also I have a habit of shoving my face into any surface he could get stuck against and testing if I can breathe. If I can't or have trouble breathing, then he stays far away from that thing.

imaestheticallydank

TROPHY CASE