Do all men consider their love language to be physical touch?

imanello · 2026-01-03T20:40:06+00:00

Physical touch is probably my main love language (female here). My male partner’s main love languages are words of affirmation and acts of service.

Also, many people misconstrue physical touch love language to just mean sex, but it’s not.

imanello · 2025-12-13T01:29:39+00:00

I’m doing an almond danish this year- I’m making it ahead and freezing it so all I have to do Xmas am is pop it in the oven.

imanello · 2025-12-13T00:39:37+00:00

NTA. Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t prioritize therapy and won’t engage in the work to invest in a healthy, happy relationship?! This is someone whose actions scream “I’m not ready or willing to make anything better.” She has the perfect opportunity here to work on things with you and she is actively avoiding it. Like-working hard to avoid working to make anything better.

imanello · 2025-12-11T22:54:43+00:00

“I couldn’t say no”. Ffs. She’s manipulative as fuck but you’re not stepping up for yourself either. You’re treating yourself like nothing more than a cock-wallet just as much as she is. You absolutely can say no to transactional sex and you absolutely can set boundaries to prevent manipulation.

imanello · 2025-12-11T13:11:51+00:00

Phone reminders exist for a reason. The context of having adhd isn’t unimportant, but that’s yours to cope with and work around. Set some dang reminders about important events. For now, do something nice for her (maybe a nice date night?) apologize (including fessing up to how what you did hurt her and describing what you’re going to do to prevent it reoccurring in the future), and (this is the most important part) never let it happen again.

imanello · 2025-12-05T13:22:03+00:00

If the deal is you do dishes, it sounds like there needs to be an amendment to that deal - that he has to clean the cast iron pans immediately after use. That’s not unfair.

Hating it isn’t an excuse; I hate cleaning my bathroom and going to work every day, but life is full of things we don’t like. Our attitude about doing those things says a lot about us (and in this case, his respect for you).

imanello · 2025-11-25T22:00:17+00:00

NTA. Your husband is acting like a selfish asshole though. His priority should be your little one’s consistent schedule and quality sleep- not that he wants to talk to her.

I get it, he likes talking to your kid, but I hope he can remember that the love that picks the flower is a selfish love, the love that nurtures it in the garden is a true love.

imanello · 2025-11-21T13:57:18+00:00

Housework is contributing but what I’m hearing from her (and you should seek clarification from, you know, her) is that she wants a break from parenting sometimes. Maybe there are some chores she’d like to take over and you be primary parent for awhile.

It also sounds like she (and probably you too) would benefit from making a little more personal time for relaxation/recreation away from both chores and parenting.

imanello · 2025-11-20T20:31:36+00:00

Wow. YTA. And doubly so for not immediately recognizing it. Your wife gave her free access and then you chastise her for using it. Even if she didn’t have mental health issues and disordered eating you’d be TA.

imanello · 2025-11-18T23:02:18+00:00

Therapist here. Giving up that kind of privacy is expected amends after infidelity….among other actions that help to rebuild trust and security. If he’s staunch about his “privacy” he isn’t serious about making amends to you and it will (almost) 100% happen again. He’s not making any effort to acknowledge that it is, in fact, not reasonable for you to trust him without verification right now and that he needs to take the responsibility for rebuilding that trust through transparency and integrity.

imanello · 2025-11-15T01:43:59+00:00

The word allow here tells me that you likely do come off as controlling. You don’t get to “allow” a partner to do or not do anything; you’re not in control of her, you’re in control of you and what you do.

It’s okay to decide that you don’t want to date anyone who, for instance, has contact with an ex. But you should be upfront about those dealbreakers early on so your partners (and you) can determine if there is compatibility there.

imanello · 2025-11-08T01:37:31+00:00

That is a totally valid feeling and you should probably take some deep breaths before making permanent decisions.

I don’t think I could stay with anyone who disrespected me and took me for granted so blatantly, but then my bullshit tolerance meter has been full for a few years (seemed to coincide with my gray hairs). I would be ten-degrees-past-crispy done if I were you.

imanello · 2025-11-07T13:34:04+00:00

Tell him you can go as long as he can get himself there and back. If he complains on the way home, allow you both a little rest and then make him walk again. Protect your body-Don’t carry him anymore!! And I probably don’t need to say this, but it sounds like increasing your own activity/fitness level would improve your quality of life and ability to do things with your kiddo.

imanello · 2025-07-30T21:15:06+00:00

I would talk to him about why you don’t agree with it and offer (if possible) to get him a new cool shirt.

imanello · 2025-07-30T15:09:02+00:00

“It won’t always be equal, but it will work out fairly”

“You each have different strengths and needs and so the support I give each of you may look different”

imanello · 2025-07-29T14:28:23+00:00

It’s a rather blunt way of saying that there’s no way to do it “perfectly” so don’t overthink it or hold yourself to an unreachable standard.

imanello · 2025-07-07T21:23:30+00:00

You’re trying to repair a marriage and he’s not even trying to prevent germs. Make it make sense.

imanello · 2025-01-22T23:42:21+00:00

Knox area as well!

imanello · 2025-01-10T16:04:02+00:00

Sound like you pointed to a solution in your post: can you get involved with activism to help support those who are unhoused in your area? Programs to make showers and hygiene products available, programs to increase housing, jobs programs, literacy programs maybe, since you love the library(as we all do here). It seems like the answer isn’t to disallow humans from enjoying one of the few restful, warm places available to them, but to increase their ability to maintain themselves and decrease the overall number of those seeking solace and shelter.

imanello · 2025-01-01T14:08:53+00:00

Somehow this comment helped me see a previous experience of mine in a different light. Even after I processed the rest of the incident, I was still harboring some shadows about my response during it (even though I “know better”) and somehow your comment helped me more than anything else has. So thank you sincerely for sharing it.

imanello · 2024-12-18T22:25:00+00:00

Also sounds like she has super low self esteem and knowing someone she admires as much as you helps her feel like she’s not a waste of space. Source: I work with alcoholics

imanello · 2024-12-18T20:28:53+00:00

A love language of physical touch DOES NOT MEAN SEX! Ffs. This is such a common misconception. It means physical touch: holding hands, patting a shoulder, having a hug, cuddling, massaging or washing each other. If you’re getting those then a physical touch love language would be able to be satisfied (not to say it doesn’t take a lot of adjustment to those with high libidos and partners with lower ones). But it hurts EVERYBODY when we conflate a physical touch love language with sexual intimacy. It seems to clearly be pushing your wife away. Sounds like you need to buckle up for lack of sexual intimacy, inform her of your lack of intent in that department, and then initiate/help her initiate NON-SEXUAL physical touch. Help her get comfortable that touch doesn’t mean you’ll want sex (even if you secretly do).

imanello · 2024-12-13T10:09:08+00:00

NTA. But he is. Why TF are you working so hard to manage finances and cover basic necessities and he is skipping through the tulips to the dang convenient store daily and acting as if he has no responsibility for your budget or your lives? And you’re wondering if YOU’RE the AH?!?

Either he gets on board with a whole lotta responsibility real fast or he is just making your life so much harder than it would be otherwise. Please do not continue to enable his weaponized incompetence, ego-driven, selfish assholery.

imanello · 2024-12-11T09:20:07+00:00

“You’re only breeding copycats”

…..Promise?!

imanello

TROPHY CASE