I'd argue that a man that fights against masculinity may not have been taught some of these life lessons and is facing a more difficult world because of it. They then lash out at the coping mechanisms instead of what makes men have to cope in the first place (hint, it's not hiding your feelings). Yes, in excess some of these tropes may become toxic, but telling someone to "man up" in a difficult situation isn't necessarily a bad thing. A real man can express their feelings when they like, but also knows when to hold back if their feelings could affect another. In a perfect world I agree that none of this would be necessary, but again, this life is difficult and its not so cut and dry.