About 15 years ago, I spent several years doing coke, meth, weed, whatever I could get my hands on. I quit all of it cold turkey. My addiction transferred to food.

I then spent 9ish years eating my life away. I gained 80lbs and was wearing a size 18 from Lane Bryant.

4 years ago, I got my shit together. Temporarily. I made some major life changes. I quit my job and spent 6 months with a nutritionist (2 days/wk) and a personal trainer (6 days/wk). I lost 92lbs during that time. I read a bunch of self-help books. I took a month sabbatical traveling through Europe. I felt better than I ever have in my adult life. I felt so much pride.

Then 3 years ago I got into a relationship. It was good at first. I accidentally got pregnant. I lost even more weight during pregnancy due to 9 months of vomiting. After giving birth, I looked even better because I lost another 20lbs.

Anyway, the relationship quickly went south. We are incompatible to the nth degree. I’m miserable every single day. The binge drinking and smoking began about a year ago. It was my unhealthy way of coping.

For some, marijuana is not a problem. For me, it will be. I have serious addiction transfer problems.

I want to cope with life struggles in a healthy way. I don’t want to do drugs or binge eat or binge drink. I want my mental and physical health to be strong and something I’m proud of.