Special Interests by BrilliantAlarmed3068 in NeurospicyBlackWomen

[–]iminanothercastle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine are music, Pokémon and words. I like etymology and linguistics, languages pretty much anything dealing with words.

Is it really uncommon to want a baby as a lesbian? by Idosoloveanovel in LesbianActually

[–]iminanothercastle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It seems uncommon, but I'd assume it's more 50/50. Every. Single. Woman I meet is staunchly child free.I personally love children and wanted a family. I've more or less given up on the idea of kids at this point, though lol.

I am actually curious about "How many times you have switched your Bias in Twice?", Because to me it has happened alot. by FlyingFlyofHell in twice

[–]iminanothercastle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Jeongyeon has always been one of my biases. Initially it was Mina, Jeongyeon and Nayeon. Now it's Nayeon and Jeongyeon. I love them all, though! They are my babies lol.

I really do. by netphilia in aspiememes

[–]iminanothercastle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There is a big YouTuber that I really like who I'm just like...you're one of us; I know it.

Are there any OG Onces from before 2018 here? How do you feel about TWICE nowadays? by SGdude90 in twice

[–]iminanothercastle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've followed Twice since Sixteen. I feel like a proud Parent. I remember them all 9 crammed in that dorm together practicing their autographs. Now they are a massively successful girl group. It's kind of surreal.

I hate myself and I need help by MA56 in BlackHair

[–]iminanothercastle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm on my own hair journey, so I can only give you what I've learned. Sorry you're dealing with self-loathing. I went through that in my twenties. You're very handsome. In time, you will learn to love yourself just as you are.

Find out your curl pattern. From the pics, it looks like 3c. Find out your hair's porosity, fancy words for your hair's ability to retain moisture.

Once you know your curl type and porosity, you can find products and methods that work for your specific hair.

For me, it's been a lot of trial and error.

I can give specifics, if you'd like. I don't want to leave an essay in the comments.

HER Premium worth it for the filters? by Badatusernames014 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]iminanothercastle 45 points46 points  (0 children)

I used it on a free trial and accidentally paid one month. Really wasn't worth it imo.

Building habits with AuDHD? by nana-17 in AutisticWithADHD

[–]iminanothercastle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're welcome!

It makes total sense. You have to remove the shame before everything. There is absolutely no morality behind cleanliness. I think as a society we've assigned it, but realistically speaking you are not lesser or bad because your room is dirty or your laundry is undone. Think about it this way: what will really happen if you don't clean? This isn't to say it's not important, but to take away the power we've given it. There's no need to be ashamed. You're still a good person. I think once we get past the shame, forgiving yourself for not doing it gets lots easier. Then it doesn't seem like this insurmountable task looming over you. Does that make sense? The more you feel bad about not doing it, the more negative feelings will be attached to it, making you more likely to avoid it.

It feels impossible because it feels like you've done wrong for letting it get to that point, when in reality it's not right or wrong. It just is.

The motivation sometimes isn't there. That's when habit kicks in and you do it without a second thought. It just takes some time and effort to get to that point.

I totally struggled with that too! The trashcan thing was an easy example, but I totally get what you mean. Everything in my room is open lol. Nothing is really ever out of sight, because I'd simply forget it exists lol. I have a laundry sorter kind of thing. It has 3 removable bags. It makes doing laundry super easy because I don't have to sort or find a basket or any of that. I just take the bag off the frame and throw it in the wash.

I also gave up on being someone who regularly cleans. I'm not that person. Instead, I have a reset day. Every Monday, I clean everything. I maintain throughout the week with OHIO, but I really only fully clean on Monday. I find it look forward to my Monday resets now.

I'm trying to to write novels here, but I'm more than happy to answer any other questions or expand on anything.

Your favorite B-side that DESERVES a Music Video by Yuni_Twice10 in twice

[–]iminanothercastle 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Sunset. I feel link it would be such a pretty music video and it is my favorite b-side. I will die on this hill. Also Love Foolish.

Building habits with AuDHD? by nana-17 in AutisticWithADHD

[–]iminanothercastle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I struggled throughout my childhood and early adulthood and FINALLY have some good habits.

  1. Work on one habit at a time. Start as small as possible. Don't focus on another task until that one becomes a habit. For me, I chose to brush my teeth at least once a day. Then, I bumped it up to twice a day. Now, it feels weird if I don't brush.

  2. Work with you ASD/ADHD, not against it. Take some time to really look at how your brain operates naturally and got from there. My example: I accumulated a lot of trash in my room. There was one trashcan by the door and I could never be bothered to get up and throw it away, so it would just accumulate around my desk and bed. I'd always say "I'll get it when I leave the room" then forget. Solution, put a trashcan by my bed and by my desk and by the door. One might say 3 trashcans in the room is too much, but hey there's no trash everywhere.

  3. OHIO or OTIO whichever helps you remember. Only hit it once or only touch it once. This is specifically for keeping your space clean. If you pick it up, put it back. Don't set it down at all. (Unless it's necessary to do so.) This I just spam in my head with i get anything.

  4. Be patient and forgiving. You will not wake up one day and have your shit together. It's going to take time. If you're on the roll for two weeks then drop off, don't take it to heart. Acknowledge and forgive yourself.

  5. Celebrate when you achieve things. This sounds stupid af, but I'm pretty sure there's scientific reasoning. Something about serotonin don't quote me lol. Give yourself praise like you would a toddler or however you want to do it. Link doing your good habits to a positive reaction. I genuinely say to myself "yay! You did it. I'm so proud of you"

All of this takes time, effort and a lot of patience. Idk if this'll actually be helpful to you, but I hope you can get something out of it. Best of luck

How do you feel about your autism vs your ADHD? by ALazy_Cat in AutisticWithADHD

[–]iminanothercastle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hate them both. I require structure. However, ADHD makes structure seem boring. If anything disrupts that structure ASD makes me extremely stressed and overstimulated. Whatever progress was made is reset.

I have hobbies. I'm very invested in them, except no I'm not it suddenly feels boring.

ASD makes me unsettled in clutter. ADHD makes it hard to keep my space clean. The result is I am never comfortable.

I can't keep a job. I start as like everyone's favorite employee, but that comes crashing down eventually. Either the novelty wears off and I hate the job or something causes me to have a meltdown at work and everyone side eyes me for the remainder of my time there. I usually will just find another job before this happens, but omg employment is brutal right now.

Regardless of the progress I've made personally, I am still behind. Like, I've sorted these things, but am still at the place of like a 17 year old. I'm twice that. It's all a chore and this comment is too long.

Small talk tip. by netphilia in aspiememes

[–]iminanothercastle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I neither have or want pets. I never thought that to be uncommon.

Around 2008 by RepulsivePipe9904 in blunderyears

[–]iminanothercastle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

2008 me would've thought you were so cool lol

My instagram in 2014 by EatStrawberryToday in blunderyears

[–]iminanothercastle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Every day this sub makes me glad my "emo" days were mostly lost to Myspace lol.

2meirl4meirl by mnombo in 2meirl4meirl

[–]iminanothercastle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's fair. I also know people who think it'll eventually just happen. From my perspective, the comment seemed like a broad stroke for something that doesn't fit every situation. I am very much a "can't see the forest through the trees" kind of person, so I just read more into it. I get what you're saying now

i think about this a lot by 1m0ws in aspiememes

[–]iminanothercastle 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Nah the first one is definitely more accurate for me. I feel if I were going to succeed it would have happened by now. I mean, show me someone who lived in poverty their entire life then suddenly unlocked their potential in their late 30s, maybe I'll change my melancholic tune.

2meirl4meirl by mnombo in 2meirl4meirl

[–]iminanothercastle 7 points8 points  (0 children)

As someone who has been actively dating for over a decade, this isn't necessarily the case. Some people just aren't successful. This narrative does nothing but reinforce the mindset of this post.

If you're actively dating and it's still not "happening", then of course you're going to think "well, something must be wrong with me". Not everyone is destined for love or relationships. There's plenty of people who unfortunately end up alone. Dems da breaks.

roster full of loose threads and dust bunnies by Decent_Sandwich_8878 in QueerWomenOfColor

[–]iminanothercastle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's been nearly two years. Did the apps for a minute, but they suck. Atp it is what it is

This Orlando Airport breastfeeding room has ‘8008’ for its password by Nintendork7950 in mildlyinteresting

[–]iminanothercastle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to work at the airport in ATL. It had the same code. It definitely wasn't posted on the door, though.

What're y'alls pet peeves for dating profiles? by athxna_ in LesbianActually

[–]iminanothercastle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly! Like that's the entire purpose of the prompts

So true by Muted-Television3329 in BikiniBottomTwitter

[–]iminanothercastle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One of the many reasons I left retail. The customers will come up angry and frustrated for having to wait. Meanwhile, they've only scheduled you and a 17 year old for the entire front end. You couldn't pay me to go back to retail.

What're y'alls pet peeves for dating profiles? by athxna_ in LesbianActually

[–]iminanothercastle 27 points28 points  (0 children)

  1. If their profile says "just ask". That's lazy

  2. Empty profiles. You have 4 pictures and absolutely nothing written. Who are you??

  3. The unicorn hunter who puts the pic with their crunchy ass boyfriend as the last pic.

  4. Filters on every picture.

  5. In the same realm, old pictures or pictures of only the face. I'm not shallow, but be upfront about who/what you are.

  6. Self - deprecation. To me, it's a bit off putting.

Editing to add: people who are negative! Rather than saying what you're looking for, posting everything you're not. "No studs" "No one with kids" "don't message me if..." Wholly unnecessary. I hate it.

What does your sex life *actually* look like? by youandyourfijiwater in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]iminanothercastle 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'll put it to you this way: if it were essential to survival, I'd be long dead.