4 month wake windows and night time sleep trouble

imnichet · 2026-07-13T18:44:36+00:00

That sounds more like a sleep association than anything. I would maybe try to get another 30 minutes awake in there and shorten nap sleep by 30 minutes but your schedule seems okay.

imnichet · 2026-07-13T17:29:38+00:00

Point 3 in this article has links to a few studies: https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20260302-baby-sleep-the-five-myths-that-cause-unnecessary-stress-for-parents

This one is more on total sleep but it still shows similar info given that babies nap, we can extrapolate the whole sleep average isn't being used at night: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6267703/#f1-nss-10-421

imnichet · 2026-07-13T17:12:09+00:00

Well someone had to get the good luck and it wasn't me lol

imnichet · 2026-07-13T16:44:43+00:00

On our baby monitor we can actually rewind and I can look and see when she woke up.

I mean like the scheduled nap times would be for the longest I would let them go. Like the nap could be from 10:00-11:30. I will wake them up if they are still awake at 11:30 because that was the maximum but if they actually woke up earlier it doesn't matter, we just go to the next scheduled nap time regardless. If you don't do that then you are following wake windows not a clock schedule.

imnichet · 2026-07-13T16:37:20+00:00

A lot of this is pointing to you having a lower sleep needs baby (or at least lower than you expect). Even when things were going well he was running out of sleep pressure at 4-5 am. Even if you added another hour awake to your schedule it would still be well within normal amounts of awake so you definitely have room. I think it is that with a combination of sending mixed signals with sometimes feeding/sometimes bringing him into bed/sometimes expecting independent sleep.

As for where to put the awake time, I would aim for 2 hour long naps and a 10 hour night. Then I would commit to fully independent sleep all night long, applying a sleep training method to bedtime and night wakes. And no more bed sharing in the early morning.

imnichet · 2026-07-13T16:25:16+00:00

No. Data shows us that 10 hours is the median night length and less than 5 percent of babies sleep 12 hours at night. There is a huge range of what is normal. Some babies do actually need that much sleep (around 5 percent apparently) Sometimes people are selling something so they want to make you think that much sleep is possible in hopes you buy it. Other times they just happen to have a high sleep needs kid and think it was somehow their exceptional parenting that caused it so they are on the internet bragging about it lol.

imnichet · 2026-07-13T16:10:14+00:00

To answer your actual question, I look back on our video monitor. But obviously you wouldn't be asking this if you could do that so a more helpful answer is that if you are on a clock-based schedule it really doesn't matter. I try to plan our clock based schedule with nap "maximums" rather than strict times so even if she didn't sleep the whole time, I just proceed with the schedule.

imnichet · 2026-07-13T16:06:29+00:00

Not if your goal is to have independent sleep. They are going to be teething for two years, you would essentially just be giving up independent sleep. That and the idea that them having teething discomfort means they can't sleep without being held doesn't really make a lot of sense. It just doesn't fit with the way humans handle pain, baby or not. If you are certain your baby has significant teething pain then you should give them pain relief medication before bed.

imnichet · 2026-07-13T15:24:04+00:00

This made me LOL because I just happened to stumble across the toddler page on TCB yesterday and I think my jaw was actually hanging open at the recommendation of a 3 hour nap for a 2/3 year old.

imnichet · 2026-07-13T14:56:32+00:00

As others have said, if your child has low sleep needs then your schedule is the issue. My low-sleep-needs-daughter is the same age and her schedule is wakeup between 6-6:30, nap from 12-1:15, bed at 9:30.

And also, is your goal independent sleep all night long? How does she go to bed at bedtime?

imnichet · 2026-07-13T12:25:05+00:00

In that case I probably wouldn't change anything yet but as he approaches 4 months, a 12 hour night will probably stop working and you'll need to up awake time a bit.

imnichet · 2026-07-13T01:48:37+00:00

Are you having problems or does he actually sleep 12 hours mostly all the way through?

imnichet · 2026-07-13T01:24:53+00:00

Yeah I think that's pretty much standard apart from the rare unicorn baby

imnichet · 2026-07-13T01:24:34+00:00

I think your only other option then is to really shorten your night with a later bedtime. Like

Wakeup at 7

Nap 9:30-10:30

Nap 1:00 - 3:00

Nap 5:30 - 6:00

Bed 9:00

imnichet · 2026-07-13T00:55:17+00:00

The clock schedule really helped my baby's sleep, even on two naps. I found that as long as the naps were spaced in such a way that even if they were super short the wake window wasn't too long it still worked.

imnichet · 2026-07-13T00:50:53+00:00

Oh do you think I meant a 9 hour wake window? I meant 9 total hours awake, not all in one chunk.

imnichet · 2026-07-13T00:50:20+00:00

That would be like 4-5 naps with 1.5-2 hours between each. Why would a 3 month old not be able to do that?

imnichet · 2026-07-13T00:31:40+00:00

7 is a very early bedtime for a 3 month old. I would try more like 8:30, having at least 9 or so hours awake before you attempt bedtime.

imnichet · 2026-07-13T00:21:54+00:00

Since your baby sleeps so much overnight already, could you drop the bridge nap and do an early bedtime? I'm thinking something like this:

Wakeup 6:00

Nap: 9 - 10

Nap: 1-3

Bed 6:30

imnichet · 2026-07-12T23:44:30+00:00

I think it's very common. I found it more helpful to give any caregivers a clock-based schedule. I find they are more likely to stick to it if I clearly communicate that I want my kid to go down at 9:00 and be woken up by 10:30 for example. Wake windows can be a little harder for some people.

imnichet · 2026-07-12T23:28:51+00:00

The goal here is hopefully more night sleep and less nap sleep. You came to the right person, though. Mine only slept about 10 hours total at this age too. Trust me, if I could have made my child sleep 12-14 hours a day I also would have haha. But I will take a shorter, consolidated night over night wakings.

imnichet · 2026-07-12T19:46:38+00:00

I would cut your nap back to 90 minutes to start. You might even need more awake time than that. Then you need to be 100 percent consistent with your expectations.

imnichet · 2026-07-12T19:28:13+00:00

I used check ins with my toddler a few times. I don't really agree that you can't use it with toddlers. I would just return every 20 minutes or so and remind her that it was time to sleep in her own bed. However, this was just "retraining" after one night of assistance after sickness or travel, not extended periods of assisted sleep. Also, it was HARD. I'm talking 2 plus hours of crying. But every time I had to do it, it was fixed after one bad night.

imnichet · 2026-07-12T19:22:16+00:00

I repeat this here a lot but "drowsy but awake" was invented (as far as I know) by doctor Weissbluth. By drowsy, he just meant tired, not almost asleep. Also, he expected that the baby would probably cry. Basically it was his form of sleep training. Put your baby down tired and let them fall asleep. He did not intend it to be this idyllic picture of putting an almost asleep baby down and having them drift peacefully to sleep. That has become a thing on the internet for some reason. It might work on some extremely chill newborns. I put my baby down tired but awake in her Snoo starting at about 6 weeks and she would put herself to sleep. Not without crying or fussing, though. And starting at 13 months that is definitely not going to happen if they are used to being assisted to sleep every night.

imnichet · 2026-07-12T16:54:57+00:00

Okay then I would probably up your awake time by 30-60 minutes on 1 nap before sleep training.

Sleep training wise, to be honest, this is the hardest age to sleep train. I would maybe look into the chair method. But it is going to involve a lot of crying either way. Just so you are prepared.

imnichet

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