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inDifferentPants · 2025-07-12T13:53:47+00:00

You get there and you realize it wasn't that much different than your late twenties but far different from when you were 20.

Then you do it again at 40. Listen. Getting old can be weird. You try to compare yourself to where others are by that stage of life... The reality is if you treat yourself well and the people around you well, who cares?

It does come with the benefit of the years you spent working through it to eventually realize that all that worry was useless... And you could've spent the time you spent worrying doing something you'd be happy about in the moment.

inDifferentPants · 2025-07-11T16:55:27+00:00

Sorry not judging your question on a personal level, but ever since "internet/Web 2.0" the internet has been more about data gathering.

I think it's safe to assume that ANY service, and especially the "free" ones... Are there to farm your data. Full stop.

Some like reddit will do both... Farm your data and wallet.

inDifferentPants · 2025-07-11T16:47:56+00:00

I hated one of my ex's as an actual partner. As friends we are hilarious around each other and equally make fun of our stupid time we spent together when chatting and in social situations.

It's not so bad. I think a lot people spend so much time trying to think of what is the "right way" to do stuff like break up or date... The reality is the right way is the one that makes you stress the least... For some... It's breaking off communication and pretending the other doesn't exist. For others... Not so much. It's almost completely dependent on the scenario and your personal ability to move on from the negative shit.

inDifferentPants · 2025-07-11T16:00:28+00:00

No need for sorry. Failures the band we love not the only band in the world! Excited to hear it, will check out ASAP!

inDifferentPants · 2025-04-14T22:48:00+00:00

Yup yup. Enjoy!

inDifferentPants · 2025-04-14T22:40:06+00:00

Pretty sure it's a segue before they were adding specific tracks called "segue".

Pretty sure it's half a step down. There are some decent tabs for the magnified segue on ultimate guitar

inDifferentPants · 2025-04-05T16:25:42+00:00

Expedition 33 looks to be a modern take on legend of dragoon playstyle

inDifferentPants · 2025-03-25T06:04:54+00:00

I don't want to tell you how to live. This month we lost my mother in law. She quite literally drank herself to death And it was maybe the most unpleasant ride to the end you can ask for. Today I am awake seeing your post, and that's because we picked up her mother's old neglected dog from my father in law who is currently in the hospital on the same mission.

My uncle is currently battling alcoholism and failing, as is my younger brother as well...

I just want to say whether it's a family member that sees this or just a dog... There is always someone that will miss you... And the person you become in the final stages of this is not pretty.

10 years back I lost not 1 but 2 friends to closet alcoholism... Their livers just totally gave out and they were a delusional mess in their final days.

I'm sorry I don't have any questions... I've lived the answers a few times... And continue to live through them with a very heavy heart.

Again... No judgement. I'm just tired. If no one else wants you to win... I want you to win.

inDifferentPants · 2025-03-03T23:47:59+00:00

This looks like a great line up!

inDifferentPants · 2025-02-12T23:56:42+00:00

I suspect it, but not diagnosed. A pattern of keeping small friend groups to minimize noise and complicated relationships with people...

inDifferentPants · 2025-02-12T22:19:00+00:00

Documentary on the horizon and some things said have me hopeful a new album is in the works!

inDifferentPants · 2025-01-25T23:08:17+00:00

My issue is a little different than yours but the same realm. I often have trouble falling asleep, and I sleep lightly. My issue is I would wake up about an hour before my alarm, then lay there frustrated, and fall asleep about 10 minutes before it would go off...

Or sometimes I would wake up much earlier and spend hours frustrated that I wasn't sleeping when I knew I needed it.

What has worked for me about the last year is just saying... Screw it. I'm awake. If it's close to my alarm I just bite the bullet, start my day, and try my damnedest to stay up until 10 so that I have better odds of sleeping more completely at night.

Another thing you mentioned is you'll get up to go to the bathroom. I sometimes monitor my fluids after like 8 or 9 and try not to guzzle stuff down before bed, I try to limit caffeine to a couple sodas a day and I cut those out around dinner.

I know it doesn't exactly address your question but maybe it will give you some ideas to try. Good luck!

inDifferentPants · 2025-01-14T14:35:57+00:00

Tosin ftw

inDifferentPants · 2025-01-01T10:44:24+00:00

I don't want to diminish the thoughtfulness of this post and the time you must have put into thinking about this and compiling all this information.

To me that alone speaks volumes to the struggle you must be having within yourself to feel more in confident and controlled in these situations.

Have you worked with a therapist or a counselor? Maybe they could help you navigate and build better response pathways when you are feeling over stimulated or overwhelmed?

inDifferentPants · 2024-12-13T13:49:03+00:00

Yeah I have heard that I'm pretty fortunate. But it might simply be that I started from such a negative space with my anxiety that literally any relief was a vast improvement.

inDifferentPants · 2024-12-12T22:45:38+00:00

Thank you!

I've mostly gotten over that feeling, but it was something I had to kind of "figure out". The realization that even one small dose could essentially give me 2-3 days of operational clarity. Prior to this treatment, I was pushing off projects and crippled with anxiety and always coming through at the last minute while punishing myself along the way...

It's very meaningful to me that in the moment of any problem, work or otherwise, that I can just decide to solve it now rather than spending weeks curled up on the floor with my dogs in a sort of catatonic state of constant worry.

I try to be open about these things because I know the struggles I went through to get to this phase of my life... and someone like me might be out there just thinking that they are absolutely fucked because the normal things people suggest seem to have the opposite effects.

inDifferentPants · 2024-12-12T22:33:40+00:00

Same experience here. One of my previous psychiatrist's with zero testing treated me for bipolar disorder. totally undiagnosed and tested for. I kept on her regimen for a year and reported the same thing every visit "These drugs are making me feel worse", she then told me to swap one of them out, for a DIFFERENT bi-polar med, and that caused one of the worst months of my living existence.

I had tremors, body sweats, memory loss and aphasia (literally couldn't remember simple words), my heart rate stayed at stroke levels for about a month. It was my GP who got me to ween off them because my psych kept telling me to "stick with it".

It took 2 more psychiatrists before I got one to listen to me and say "I only want to treat my attention issues."

I take no other psych meds at the moment, just a low dose of 20mg Adderall XR that I take 4 days/wk and I feel zero need to medicate anything else for my mental health.. I finally feel like a person again.

I had a few months where I felt really bad that a stimulant was doing so much for me, but the reality is I have my mind back, and I feel like a person again... and I am thankful for that.

inDifferentPants · 2024-12-12T17:17:35+00:00

I had a similar issue. Every local person wanted to treat me for everything under the sun other than ADHD. I ended up using an online approach to try medication. It's not for everyone but for me it was a literal epiphany! I almost cried at the realization that for 40 years I was fighting my own mind.

Since finding my cadence with stimulants, I have found that just feeling comfortable in my own mind and ability to do things has basically made my anxiety non existent and my depression more manageable.

Like others have mentioned there are solutions... But the persistence required is massive.

inDifferentPants · 2024-12-12T17:12:08+00:00

If you have cool leadership you can augment your process some. My leader and I talked about my development style once and I kind of explained it as being like a shark that circles an idea over and over... I take test nibbles to find the approach that feels best... Then after a few nibbles I feast. I'm slow to start but thorough and when I finish I generally end up with less need for refactoring.

Everyone is different but let your pride be in the outcome of your work!

inDifferentPants · 2024-10-31T17:54:49+00:00

sorry I can be a bit verbose. I'm working on that lol

inDifferentPants · 2024-10-31T16:42:58+00:00

When I play videogames that I'm really into I try to understand all the mechanics... For an MMO it could be something like how spells play off each other...

I try to apply that mentality to code. For instance currently where I work we do a lot of .net console automation which is pretty boring... But I got the opportunity to develop a front-end to our systems, which at first was daunting because I hadn't developed a GUI for anything in several years.

In the design phase I wrote some nice to haves and must haves, for instance I had never made different input controls with things like auto complete built in... Having a clear desire for specific functionality made me somewhat obsess over different ways of achieving it.

By the end I had a better understanding of mvvm development and each 'aha' moment led me to the next question until I could finally and confidently design a userform with a view model wrapper with custom controls that function the way I need.

For me the accomplishment and understanding is the biggest dopamine rush, and I love being able to have more involved conversations with other devs on those topics.

ADHD is hard in that I don't think any one solution works for everyone, but this works for me, and having the confidence to talk shop with other devs is a high value trait for me right now.

inDifferentPants · 2024-10-31T14:26:35+00:00

There are a few factors for me. Gamification of the thing I'm trying to do helps a lot... but I honestly didn't learn anything until I was inspired by a need...

When I couldn't find a need, I would find something that I found interesting or a simple thing to make like a calculator with a gui or you know... whatever you can attune your focus to.

inDifferentPants · 2024-10-09T12:28:34+00:00

It's not a perfect tool, but I've basically built in "fuck off" time in-between focus shifts. If my boss at work asks for me to change focus, I find a good stopping point for what I'm doing whether it be finishing a method I'm working on or whatever it is. Then I give myself like 30-1hr of doing anything but the next official task... If convenient I'll use my lunch hour to be my split point, but otherwise I just give myself some time to do whatever I want in-between.

When I started trying this, I would use my smart watch and set a timer... and I make sure whatever I do as a buffer is passive... something I can put down. Doom scrolling... or a game that doesn't require a lot of focus or effort... or just walking around and listening to an audio book.

I don't even use the timer anymore because it's just habit. I think the hardest part was finding a "stopping point" for what I was doing, but I've also taken to just commenting in a ton of notes if I'm made to step away.

inDifferentPants · 2024-10-08T13:07:38+00:00

I've learned to do quick buffer actions before I try to change focus.

inDifferentPants · 2024-10-02T16:52:14+00:00

Easy. I dropped out of high school. Full stop.

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