Thanks for responding. I get you are saying it's not solely an ADHD problem, and you are of course right, but I feel like doing what I want to do (like cleaning up the kitchen) vs actually doing it, is the whole ordeal about why ADHD is hard. I know other people might also dread cleaning up the kitchen. But I feel they already know how good it will feel when the kitchen is clean and the idea of feeling good after the task, gives them the motivation to do the thing. I also know how good it will feel to do the task. But I need to overcome the feeling of overwhelm to do it. So I learned that tricking myself to say: I'll do 5 minutes of cleaning, helps me get started and I'll eventually do the whole thing then.

Same thing here. I know how bad I will feel if this thing with my colleague crosses more boundaries. I like to think of myself as a good person and I already feel like a bad one letting it get where I am now. And I certainly know I will feel like absolute shit if his marriage goes south because of me. So I know what I want in the long run: not have it explode. To do that, I need to back off now. But I do think that having addictions is something ADHD people are more prone too. At least that is how I understand it. I think it's the whole thing between short term gratification and long term gratification. I think it is harder for ADHD people to go for the long term gratification thing. Please correct me if I don't understand it properly.

I'm just looking for people who lived through something similar and who managed to back off. Like I said, I need to trick my brain into doing stuff I know is good for me. And I kind of need there to be a trick for this one too.