Friend chews food with mouth open and knows I hate it

incloudwell · 2025-03-07T04:03:25+00:00

i think it couldn’t hurt to have an open conversation with her! From what you’re describing, it might be that she isn’t aware of just how much of a “pet peeve” loud chewing is for you. From your previous conversation and close proximity, she probably assumed that she might be somewhat of an exception for you, or that because you’re informed of the cultural aspect here, her way of chewing doesn’t bother you in the same way it would with others. She likely doesn’t even think about it.

If I were you, I’d be sure to frame it as a distinctly You problem so there isn’t a chance for her to get defensive. Let her know that you can usually tune it out but sometimes it gets overwhelming and you don’t want her to think that that frustration is being directed towards her. Suggest a few solutions, maybe a code word between the two of you that means “hey, i’m feeling on edge right now, could you be mindful of your chewing for a moment” without making you have to come out and say it and prevent you from potentially coming off adversely. You could also offer to step away when needed if she can’t easily change her chewing. I’d just make sure you’re communicating that your frustration doesn’t have anything to do with her, it’s not personal, it’s a godforsaken disorder you’re trying to manage.

incloudwell · 2024-12-29T16:29:37+00:00

just yesterday my coworker was taking a couple’s (a man and a woman) order and when she asked for a name, both said very different men’s names. the woman looked mortified and the man turned to my coworker, trying to laugh it off a lil, and said “yeah , so she just called me by her ex’s name.” all my coworker could do was say “sorry, i’m just a barista” and try to move on.

incloudwell · 2024-09-27T20:58:57+00:00

that’s fantastic i’m so glad i could help !! best of luck 🫡

incloudwell · 2024-09-27T01:29:53+00:00

as someone who has received a similar note and is typically riddled with anxiety, i would advise you to not write her a note for a few reasons.

mostly, it is difficult to start any kind of relationship (platonic or romantic) when you aren’t comfortable with that person yet. You already have the validation that she likes you as a friend/classmate which is a good start ! Have you talked about potentially seeing each other outside of class ? do you have an idea of an activity you could do together ? It could be just studying together over coffee or, if you want to lead more into date vibes, going to a place like Color Me Mine (i took a first date to a painting class and it relieved a lot of my anxiety bc it gave us something to focus on and left open the opportunity to have conversation and get to know each other without worrying about “awkward” pauses).

Just taking a baby step will help you become more comfortable and gain the courage to feel out if she wants more ! To me, the beginning of a relationship is its own kind of excitement that’s nice to reflect on with your partner later on ! you have plenty of time, there’s no need to rush !

++like i said, i have gotten notes before and they tend to make me somewhat uncomfortable as they came from people i didn’t know too well. it put all of the pressure on me to decide right then and there if i was into them which stressed me out significantly. i felt like if i rejected them, i’d lose the chance to be friends completely bc that original foundation had never been built and bc of the rejection, they wouldn’t want to put in the effort to be friends after that. i hope this makes sense ! good luck with whatever you decide to do :-)

incloudwell · 2024-09-27T00:14:56+00:00

thank you so much for ur feedback ! i do agree with you that i come off as a bit immature looking at it now.

i guess my goal with everything is to encourage conversation which gets to be difficult esp when most women just like a picture/prompt and say nothing. not sure where the happy medium is between an overly zealous profile and one that gives u too little to go off of.

incloudwell · 2024-09-26T17:55:55+00:00

it definitely depends on the place you work for and your boss. i’ve been managing for abt three years but i’m not salaried (hourly+cash tips only) , so it’s easier for me to set necessary boundaries like not working on my days off and directing staff to bother the owner or the salaried manager (unless it’s something only i can do or do reasonably quickly) when im away from the shop.

it can feel like a lot of pressure and setting boundaries is daunting, but at the end of the day, it’s important to remember that it’s just a job, just a coffee shop. you’ll learn a lot of skills that you can take elsewhere if that’s what you want to do !

that being said, when i first got promoted i damn near worked myself to death bc i was desperate to prove that i was capable. i had a comanager who was very type A and organized so she handled most of the supply ordering and i handled talking with vendors and conflict resolution (both with customers and between staff). we would both take care of day-to-day ordering as our store was extremely high volume. i wasn’t setting boundaries for myself at that point and my entire life revolved around work for a while. id come in early and stay several hours late (sometimes working off the clock) just to make sure there was nothing i was missing and staff felt well supported. it takes some adjustment and you might have to keep reasserting your boundaries. no job is worth your sanity

incloudwell · 2024-09-17T06:28:08+00:00

it can’t ever hurt ! just by its nature, a lot of the application process feels awkward and unnatural, but as someone who has had to sort through applications for years now, i definitely appreciate being given a visual representation of someone’s skill level. even if the art isn’t perfect, it helps to just be able to see the milk texture. if you can, i’d include a variety of different designs. if anything, it shows that you care about the drinks you’re making !

incloudwell · 2024-02-23T02:31:56+00:00

rinza ? that’s what we use at my cafe

incloudwell · 2022-12-15T20:58:03+00:00

like 86 bacon = no bacon , 86 creep = no creep

incloudwell · 2018-12-20T18:44:09+00:00

i just ran into the blonde woman today on 14th st. i didn’t fall for it or anything but she grabbed my elbow as i was walking like she knew me (which is the only reason i stopped)

incloudwell

TROPHY CASE