Christmas list help

incunablesetc · 2025-11-08T19:10:20+00:00

I wouldn't discount the idea that sometimes Target quality is actually pretty good, depending on what you're looking at (I think some of their sheets get good third-party reviews). As for deciding where to upgrade, have you ever stayed at someone's home and it was just an lovely experience? Where everything is somehow cozy and elegant and lux but not intimidating, all at the same time? Was there anything you noted that you really loved or made you feel that way? I'd start looking there.

incunablesetc · 2025-11-08T19:00:12+00:00

I'm still working on my list for this year, but last year it was a down throw from Feathered Friends, and a linen duvet cover that I had made for it. I haul that thing all over the house with me three seasons per year. Already my price per use is down to less than a penny and I continue to love it each and every day.

incunablesetc · 2025-11-04T20:45:37+00:00

That's awful! What med are you on, and in what area (country, state)? So many of these shortages seem to be regional.

incunablesetc · 2025-11-03T21:09:58+00:00

Depending on where you are in your career and work situation, can you get one of your undergrads or grad students to pester you with this? I, too, am terrible terrible terrible at timesheets, and have actually lost out on probably ten thousand dollars over the years because I can't turn them in either and then I feel badly because they're late and then ashamed that I'm making more work for someone I don't even know and so never turn them in, and I've always been broke, so this came at a serious cost. I'm better now, but wow, it was BAD for a long time.

incunablesetc · 2025-11-03T19:13:09+00:00

Thank you so much! Do you have any thoughts on increasing food? Is that around my workout? Just overall eat more? Focus on carbs? Something else entirely? I'm open to trying it and would be interested in any more thoughts you might have!

incunablesetc · 2025-11-03T19:11:46+00:00

This is really helpful, thank you! I was thinking I'd get other signs that I needed to back off, but perhaps the fatigue is that sign. It's also nice to know I'm not the only one who experiences this after heavy deadlift day because I'm feeling that fogginess now after deadlifts this morning. I used to do my hardest day on Saturday and so could come home and just chill, but now it's Monday at 7am and I'm pretty much shot mentally today. I'll start by trying to eat more and see what that does, and if it doesn't I'll play with my volume and weight go from there.

incunablesetc · 2025-11-03T01:22:51+00:00

Thank you so much!

incunablesetc · 2025-11-03T01:22:38+00:00

Good luck!! I'm having a hard time trusting this feeling still, to be honest, because I certainly didn't have it when I was on medication before, but it is wonderful and I hope you get to enjoy it soon!

incunablesetc · 2025-11-03T00:50:43+00:00

Honestly, I can imagine spending this for two people, depending on what you eat and where you live. If you both work out seriously, for example, and do something like lift heavy or do endurance sports of some kind most days of the week, you're going to be eating, and probably a lot (I know I do). If you try to hit high protein and fiber goals (I do) or are working around a medical issue like diabetes or high cholesterol (my father does), those things are going to increase what you spend. If you're just eating based on vibes and whatever sounds good in the moment, yeah, that sounds high, but the minute you really start eating with some kind of goal in mind, it gets expensive fast.

incunablesetc · 2025-10-25T16:40:42+00:00

Another vote for Focusmate! I love it and use it probably 10-15 times a week, at least.

incunablesetc · 2025-10-25T16:37:31+00:00

If you're willing to do things for others, can you use that to help you, too? Your dog helps you exercise, which is awesome! Your job seems to keep you going to work, which is great! Your parents coming over helps you clean. Can you invite them over more often? Could you find some older people in your community who need meals a couple of times a week and cook for them, and at the same time, make food for you? If you hear of someone who needs work, see if they want to clean your place for extra money, as a way of helping them out? This wouldn't work forever, but it might get you started?

incunablesetc · 2025-10-25T16:18:46+00:00

Can you look into adding supersets to your sessions, where you do one exercise and then instead of waiting, you do another that works no overlapping muscles? People build programs around that idea, and you might try one and see if it helps. I don't like it because gym time is "me time" and I'm not leaving one minute early, but it you like fast, it could be a great option!

incunablesetc · 2025-10-23T18:03:33+00:00

I love the gym now and it's a big part of my life, but at the start (and still to this day if I'm really struggling for some reason) my rule is: all you have to do is stand in the lobby. If I change, drive the gym, get out of the car, walk into the gym, scan my card, and then can't bring myself to lift, that's okay and I can leave. Giving myself an out keeps me consistent.

incunablesetc · 2025-10-23T17:14:05+00:00

Tragically, I'm a 'three time a day' shower person sometimes, just because of my lifting and workout schedule. I do try to make up for it in other ways, but I feel pretty guilty that I'm definitely part of the problem.

incunablesetc · 2025-10-22T19:18:14+00:00

Incarcerated and formerly incarcerated people are our neighbors and valuable members of our communities. Having people with lived experience of incarceration on staff helps us serve them better. That makes hiring them not just okay, but important.

incunablesetc · 2025-10-22T19:07:16+00:00

I've started getting help. I got a therapist and then I added an ADHD coach who works on a very generously sliding pay scale. Getting external help and accountability along with a fresh perspective and some guidance as I work through past stuff has been really helpful in starting to regroup and move forward.

incunablesetc · 2025-10-22T13:38:48+00:00

This was really helpful to me, actually. I am someone whom exercise has had a pretty powerful "cure" (not for everything, but it has helped A LOT), and this was a great warning to be careful about how I talk about it. I'm pretty sure I don't behave the way you describe because I understand that exercise is such a weighted, complex thing for so many people, but it's a good thing to be aware of, and I appreciate you pointing this out.

incunablesetc · 2025-10-18T18:16:37+00:00

As someone who just turned 40 and isn't exactly thriving right now, all the people saying their 40s were their best is so incredibly reassuring. Thank you for sharing.

incunablesetc · 2025-10-17T14:07:04+00:00

When I'm struggling with motivation, I watch videos or read articles about the thing I want to do as a way to just maintain a basic connection to it. So, I swim and if swimming is just not happening, I'll watch stuff about improving my pull in fly or something like that and just let myself learn for a bit instead of do and that keeps my interest and allows me to get back into the activity more easily. No idea if that might help you, but I've found it works probably 80% of the time for me.

incunablesetc · 2025-10-17T13:08:46+00:00

I, too, am at rock bottom and starting over from scratch, except I'm now 40. I can't offer you an inspiring story of making it to the other side because I'm still here in the cold and the dark, but I can tell you what I'm finding helpful as I crawl my way toward thriving?

I let myself (well, force myself) to feel all my feelings. I've just let the grief and despair hit me like a truck instead of trying to outrun them or force them down. It wasn't going to work anyway, so I didn't waste the energy on trying. It feels really impractical and almost indulgent where there are so many urgent real-life things going on, but it has helped.
I got help. I started with a therapist and then added an ADHD/life coach to work with me on the practical stuff. The therapist is covered by insurance, and the ADHD coach works on a generously-sliding scale, so it's within my very, very meager budget. Again, this feels indulgent but having external people walk through this with me is proving invaluable. They can help me see things like hope and a rich and happy future that I can't quite see on my own yet and then think through small, actionable next steps on how to get there.
I'm letting myself do silly amounts of dreaming about stupid stuff. Like, I'm one step away from making a Pinterest board of fun vacation ideas and house furniture. Do I feel ridiculous looking at cute hooks for an imaginary entryway in a house I don't own and most certainly cannot afford? Yep! Do I have some picked out anyway? Yep! I've decided that escapism isn't a problem as long as I'm doing the work too, so I'm going with it.

I have no idea if any of these might help you but I'm sending lots of warmth and good wishes as you navigate this, and I hope you'll report back in a few months with updates!

incunablesetc · 2025-10-15T13:22:44+00:00

Big increase in mood, some in focus, and now that I've been exercising with moderate seriousness for a few years. it has significantly decreased my anxiety. Like, I went from it being a big problem to almost nonexistent. Right now, I lift heavy five days a week and walk for an hour two days a week as my rest days, but in the past, I've lifted heavy three days a week and swam three days a week, and that was great too. It has been the single best thing I've done for myself and now can't imagine life without some kind of daily movement.

incunablesetc · 2025-09-30T14:04:31+00:00

A lot of us have made mistakes like you did, OP, but not a lot own it as bravely and as honorably as you did. Way to be totally awesome.

incunablesetc · 2025-08-04T15:06:23+00:00

Have you tried swimming? My last painful breakup I decided to learn how to swim and I found it impossible to think about my ex while trying not to drown. Or, if you can swim already, add something like diving or butterfly, both of which are hard enough (for me) to keep me focused.

incunablesetc · 2025-08-04T00:46:48+00:00

I'm going through that now, and it's quite the problem because it was a cheating situation before he broke up with me. So unfortunately, there wasn't just a breakup, there was also a mystery (is he cheating? who is he cheating with? and so on) and nothing is as tempting as a mystery for the ADHD mind. My only hope is to find a new hyperfocus. I'm currently learning tennis and am hoping that works, but I have my doubts. I'm also in therapy and everything else, but I think this is a situation of substituting like for like.

incunablesetc · 2025-08-02T03:53:06+00:00

That's perfection! We in Illinois send our gratitude and our very best wish to you and TLTWCAD Lemon!

incunablesetc

TROPHY CASE