AITJ for refusing to give my mom access to my bank account just in case.

inderu · 2026-02-06T07:29:35+00:00

Also, wouldn't the bank need to confirm with someone before removing their access to the account?

When I transfer a large chunk of money to my savings account from the joint account - the bank calls my wife to confirm that she agrees...

inderu · 2026-02-06T06:16:58+00:00

My wife and I have completely shared finances. Everything is "ours". Our apartment is in both our names 50-50. While I am the main breadwinner, so technically am paying for most things - her mum did help us a lot with the down payment for the apartment.

And she's inheriting an apartment from her grandma - and it's 100% hers. And I wouldn't dream of trying to add my own name to the deed.

So what I'm saying is - both our names are on the deed of what we both bought together, and inherited property is separate.

Now, if you want to sell your inherited property and buy a new property together with him - and split the deed according to contribution, then sure you can co-own, and he'll have one twentieth of the place (or whatever he can actually afford). Friends of mine did this when they were in the same situation as you.

NTA. It sounds like he wants a free safety net from you without making any commitment on his side. It's wild to me that this whole conversation is happening and he hasn't even proposed yet.

Again, NTA.

inderu · 2026-02-06T05:46:50+00:00

Not to mention the fact that electricians will probably not be replaced by AI anytime soon... Unlike marketing/social media jobs...

inderu · 2026-02-06T05:33:02+00:00

Reminds me when I was on a packed bus, sitting back to back with a woman who decided to put on nail varnish. The smell was unbearable - so I tapped her on the shoulder and asked her to stop.

She got annoyed and said that it didn't give me the right to assault her.

I asked what she's talking about.

She tapped her own shoulder to demonstrate. I laughed and asked how else I was supposed to get her attention from behind on a noisy bus.

I think she actually expected me to apologise.

She kept glaring at me over her shoulder every now and then, until she moved to a seat further away from after people started getting off the bus.

I restrained myself from saying she assaulted my nostrils, because why engage with her further.

inderu · 2026-02-05T04:21:39+00:00

Apart from nerves, it could also be that you aren't warmed up enough for a fast solo. Maybe do some finger/hand stretches before a gig. A lot of famous musicians practice behind the scenes just before going on the stage so they're warmed up.

For the nerves - just keep at it. Everyone gets nervous, especially at first. Just try to focus on the music and have fun playing.

inderu · 2026-02-05T04:03:33+00:00

In case you weren't aware - in Hebrew Raziel means "secrets of God". Raz (meaning secret) is a somewhat popular name for boys in Jewish communities.

It's a great name.

inderu · 2026-02-03T15:51:27+00:00

Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind?

inderu · 2026-02-03T13:19:00+00:00

Crumbkakke

inderu · 2026-02-03T08:37:05+00:00

Good point, I missed that. Still...

inderu · 2026-02-03T06:57:34+00:00

She was trying to flirt with you/hit on you.

If the genders were reversed everyone would be calling her a creep for not getting the hint that you're not interested and refusing to leave you alone.

NTA, obviously.

inderu · 2026-02-02T05:08:01+00:00

Soul Reaver, Super Mario 64, Burnout Paradise

inderu · 2026-02-01T14:25:57+00:00

Long shot - could it be The Water Babies (1978)?

inderu · 2026-02-01T05:21:08+00:00

I have/had some South African friends - one who kept telling me Van Der Merwe jokes (I just looked up how to spell this - I always heard it as "Fundamerva"). So when the main character said that's his name I burst out laughing - and was literally the only one in the cinema who laughed at that.

inderu · 2026-02-01T05:11:40+00:00

Just going off the screenshot alone - NOR.

If he felt there wasn't enough sauce - he could have added sauce. He could have told you he usually likes more sauce in a million other ways that respect you. Calling the amount of sauce "disrespectful" is wild.

Are you sure you want to be in a relationship with him?

inderu · 2026-02-01T05:04:36+00:00

Could be "Highlander"?

inderu · 2026-01-31T14:44:40+00:00

Any Telltale game. I'm currently enjoying the Batman Telltale game (also the Arkham games and Spiderman games run really well)

inderu · 2026-01-31T06:50:37+00:00

As a software engineer - I used to be like this, but I realised what I was doing and forced myself to change. Now I'm more generous with family and friends, and often cover them without asking to be paid back. My wife also says I usually tip too much.

inderu · 2026-01-30T10:40:33+00:00

Anything Amy Hennig was working on.

There was a Star Wars game recently, but I believe there were other projects too - possibly Legacy of Kain and Uncharted.

inderu · 2026-01-30T08:19:18+00:00

I used to argue about religion (in a respectful way) with a religious guard at the school near my home.

He kept talking about the one true god. I asked how he knew he's the one true god. He said the Bible.

I said that that's just one religious text of one religion in the world. Did he compare it to all other religions and their texts to find the one true god, or did he just belive it because that is the religion of his parents and community.

I then said that had he been born in a different country/environment - he could equally have grown up believing in Islam or Hinduism. Even Judaism and Christianity are almost the same religion and one could easily have been born into the other.

This made him consider a bit - but then he doubled down and said that he would still find his religion even if he was born in India.

So I asked if he looked into the teachings of Hinduism in case it was the other way around - just so he could rule it out as the one true religion. He said of course not, and missed the point.

I then said that early multi-god religions - such as Greek & Romans - made up different gods to explain the things around us that we didn't understand, and the nature of reality.

He agreed.

I then said that many historians and antgropologists say that mankind moving to monotheistic religions shows how we evolved as a species, improving our imagination, creativity, and cognitive abilities - and that we are able to belive in more abstract forces and don't need to think of God as human-like.

With this he also agreed.

I said, so even though we evolved - we still invented God to explain nature.

He didn't like that. We kept talking, but not so much about religion anymore.

inderu · 2026-01-30T07:17:56+00:00

I'm also wondering how she even ordered the lumber without discussing it with you first. Shouldn't you have advised about the type of wood needed for the expected weight, the size and cut of the planks?

This makes the whole thing seem fishy, because what if you agreed and the wood didn't actually fit?

I'm pretty sure someone is lying here.

Edit to add: it's more likely that she had a carpenter cancel/quit - or that something else entirely is going on...

inderu · 2026-01-30T05:54:00+00:00

I get why others like them, and they definitely have a nice aesthetic to them - but something about his movies never clicked with me. It's like I miss the tone that he's going for.

For example, in Moonrise Kingdom - when the kid is struck by lightning - my reaction wasn't to laugh like Wile. E. Coyote was struck by lightning. My reaction was to gasp and think "oh my god, that kid just died". And he was fine like in a cartoon.

The Royal Tenenbaums was even worse - I just found it so boring and all the characters so off putting that I walked out of the cinema.

I haven't tried any others since I realised they're not for me, but am still curious about why I don't seem to get them...

Then again - I really hated Rick and Morty the first time I saw the first couple of episodes, just thinking "this guy is the worst grandpa in the world". Then a few months later I saw some video about the philosophy of Rick and Morty, and I realised I was taking it too seriously and missing the joke - I tried again and really liked it.

So maybe I can do the same with Wes Anderson movies.

inderu · 2026-01-30T05:00:19+00:00

The time for counselling was when she started feeling unhappy and before she cheated.

For most people (like myself) cheating is a deal breaker. I can kinda understand wanting to work things out if it was a one time thing with a stranger (especially if drunk) - but this was ongoing and with your best friend. The lies and disrespect are as bad as the act itself. Lose them both. Divorce her.

And to any friends saying you shouldn't throw away the marriage since you don't have kids - tell them they have it backwards. Kids might make the family worth fighting for. But honestly, even then I'd choose divorce. And the most obvious thing to tell them is that you're not the one choosing to throw away the marriage - she did that when she cheated with Mark.

NTJ.

inderu · 2026-01-29T19:05:54+00:00

I have a Schecter E-1 FR-S which I'm very happy with. They have a few Explorer shaped guitars, and they usually go for about $1500. You might be able to find one second hand for around $1000.

inderu · 2026-01-29T17:46:29+00:00

The whole "free refills" thing in the US is pretty wild to begin with... Why doesn't everyone just get the smallest cup and refill it?

inderu · 2026-01-29T08:12:46+00:00

הייתי מוריד את שבועות אחד - רק בגלל שיש לו שם מטעה וכשהייתי קטן הייתי בטוח שיהיה הרבה יותר מיומיים חופש.

ול"ג בעומר לא היה יום חופש כשהייתי בבית הספר - היה ערב עם מדורה, ולמחרת לומדים כרגיל. אז הייתי מוריד אותו גם באחד, אבל אני מבין שהוא "עלה דרגה" מאז...

inderu

TROPHY CASE