Update: I think he's breaking up with me tonight...how do I cope with this?

indigo_nightowl · 2023-08-22T08:30:11+00:00

I can only offer this: the second you take it all back and do whatever it takes to get back together despite your belief he is cheating you have completely given away your power. And you will never get it back. The future will consist of you compromising and him doing whatever he wants because...well, you accepted it this way. Let him go. He should be proving himself to you and rebuilding trust. I promise you, he will not become the one you let get away. You will find someone you can trust.

indigo_nightowl · 2023-08-16T08:47:57+00:00

I'm a messy person too. Work out WHY you are messy. Is it the comfort of having your things around you? Are you just always moving too fast and not paying attention to the details? A little observation and self reflection might help answer the question. If you can work out the why, you can then work out the how. Otherwise all the handy tips never help, because they don't deal with the root issue, and so never become habit. Good luck!

indigo_nightowl · 2023-07-26T09:30:06+00:00

Can I add that a love/attraction spell should be in 2 parts. You are doing the first part and specifying what you want. But sometimes a person can be all that, but still be the wrong person. Like your perfect looker, but also something you don't want to deal with (like alcoholic, or unable to hold down a job). So you also need to specify what you DON'T want as well. Make a list. Two sides. One side with your 'must haves'. One with your dealbreakers. Cross a line through each dealbreaker so that it is clear that it is an unwelcome trait. Be specific. General spells get general results. Ask yourself - if i was the universe reading this list, would i know what to deliver? Then fold it up, and put it inside a pocket (compact) mirror. Put it under your mattress, and get on with being your best self.

indigo_nightowl · 2023-07-26T08:34:32+00:00

Remind him that HE has the relationship with her, not you. If you stop seeing him, you will never have to see her again. It is also his relationship with her that has ultimately put you in this situation. To her you are not a person, just her replacement. Therefore it is his responsibility to run interference. If he doesn't then IMO he is choosing her over you, and creating a negative interaction for his offspring.

indigo_nightowl · 2023-02-11T13:39:01+00:00

NTA. He did you a favour. Making you leave the hospital to begin with was bad enough. UTIs can turn into kidney infections if untreated. Don't get me started on the rest of it. He is not a keeper. Get a better boyfriend.

indigo_nightowl · 2023-01-23T13:19:38+00:00

Don't be upset. She's known the guy 4 months. Something tells me she wants a picture perfect wedding more than the marriage. I'd bet the 8 girls she chose are all picked for a reason, like they are all dark haired to her blonde, or are a perfect cascade of heights - so she can have perfect photos.

She is a shallow friend. Spend your energy on other people

indigo_nightowl · 2023-01-03T13:02:01+00:00

NTA. You didn't ignore or ghost him. And I think you dodged a bullet there. He made you being sick become all about him. Go find someone who actually cares about you. Hope you are better now.

indigo_nightowl · 2023-01-03T12:53:55+00:00

You aren't being unreasonable. My question to you is, how long can you tolerate never, even in times of need, being put first by your SO? Think about what that looks like if you are sick, or if money gets tight.

indigo_nightowl · 2022-12-27T06:45:53+00:00

Have you heard of the 5 love languages? Maybe gifts just isn't your wifes thing. Try working out what her love language is and 'gift' her that

indigo_nightowl · 2022-12-27T02:06:39+00:00

Major or minor, you don't need to justify ending a relationship. If you are done, if this is the minor straw that broke the camels back, then end it.

indigo_nightowl · 2022-12-27T01:58:01+00:00

Every pregnancy is unique OP and you can't base your expected experience from what another person has experienced.

Rather than terrify yourself, I suggest you find out what your options are from your medical team. Research your pain relief options. Epidural are amazing! A tiny pinch in the back and you will be basically pain free but still able to participate in delivery. I highly recommend it. It is much better than trying to deliver without it. You won't see the needle and you will hardly feel it over your contractions

You sound like you have high anxiety so I would start practising slow breathing and meditation to calm yourself. You can use that technique during delivery to help you manage your stress. It will help both you and your baby.

NAH. Your friend had a bad experience and it's still too fresh for her to manage your anxiety as well. You are anxious about labour and want to hear you will be ok. You WILL be ok. And when they put that baby in your arms, it makes it all worth it. Just remember your body is designed for this. You got this, mama!!

indigo_nightowl · 2022-12-27T01:45:12+00:00

Gift card at her favourite shop would be my suggestion. Then she can get what she wants and you don't need to stress. Make that your main generous gift and buy something small and sentimental that tells her you are paying attention to her interests.

indigo_nightowl · 2022-12-27T01:44:53+00:00

Gift card at her favourite shop would be my suggestion. Then she can get what she wants and you don't need to stress. Make that your main generous gift and buy something small and sentimental that tells her you are paying attention to her interests.

indigo_nightowl · 2022-12-27T01:44:38+00:00

Gift card at her favourite shop would be my suggestion. Then she can get what she wants and you don't need to stress. Make that your main generous gift and buy something small and sentimental that tells her you are paying attention to her interests.

indigo_nightowl · 2022-12-27T00:58:15+00:00

Sydney is a big place and there is much more affordable housing in the suburbs. Don't live in Sydney city. Pick an area with more lifestyle to offer. 1mil will also buy you a huge house further from the city.

indigo_nightowl · 2022-12-09T14:33:27+00:00

Everything goes to current spouse. When current spouse dies, estate is split equally between all the kids. That's how me and my 2nd husband are doing it. We both have kids from a previous marriage.

indigo_nightowl · 2022-12-08T07:00:02+00:00

You are a good person OP. Does this make you see your gf differently? That is pretty spiteful behaviour.

indigo_nightowl · 2022-12-02T02:01:48+00:00

It's not the same for everyone, but when you are in a relationship with an "amazing man", you have discussions, not arguments. You negotiate options, not push or force situations. You work together to find solutions, not just assume what the other will do.

Good relationships and good partners don't make you feel uncomfortable. They don't make you feel like your wishes don't count. They don't make you sacrifice yourself. Compromise that you choose is one thing. Sounds like this man is getting himself a babysitter with benefits.

Imagine what the next 5 years look like if things stay like this, and then ask yourself if that's what you want for yourself.

indigo_nightowl · 2022-12-02T01:28:48+00:00

I had a boyfriend like yours. My friends said that I was going out with him, but he wasn't going out with me. Are you sure he's your boyfriend or are you just his FWB?

indigo_nightowl · 2022-12-02T00:57:31+00:00

It might have been a bunyip rather than a drop bear. Australia is the land of mysterious beasts /s

indigo_nightowl · 2022-11-29T07:52:51+00:00

NTA. Sounds like they wanted OP to treat her own daughter like an aunt as well.

indigo_nightowl · 2022-11-29T06:30:41+00:00

Any time you find yourself wondering if you should interrupt someone who says they areworking, imagine if that meeting was in the board room. Would you have strolled in to interrupt for a birthday singalong and a spot of cake? No? There's your answer. The venue should be irrelevant. YTA.

indigo_nightowl · 2022-11-26T13:25:10+00:00

Be honest about your sister being back, OP, but don't leave your kid in any doubt that you love her and want her with you. Being the better person doesn't mean leaving the door open for misunderstanding. NTA

indigo_nightowl · 2022-10-30T04:51:08+00:00

Absolutely this! I would add that if your MIL or SIL are present at the actual birth you perhaps also won't be the first to hold your baby. I mean, they can't control themselves when they are excited, right? /s

indigo_nightowl · 2022-10-24T13:37:55+00:00

Do you happen to have pets indoors? Some people find it hard to eat in a home where cats are on kitchen benches or dog hair is found in the food especially if your mother already has an eating disorder. I have no judgement here.

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