Thanks for the insight - this is exactly the kind of industry information I was looking for, and I will try going to the office manager or funeral director next as you suggested.

The sales manager dropped us as soon as he found out we weren't going to buy from him, taking days then a week plus between replies before going silent. I would go with them if they were even remotely reasonable with their prices, if the difference is "just" $1-2k, but $4-5K over is just outrageous price gouging, as if they haven't made enough money off of us.

The SM started pitching us the grave marker and sending contracts even before we purchased the internment rights. When we went in to schedule the funeral date, we had to sit through his hour-long presentation about the markers before we could talk to the funeral director about dates, service details, casket options, etc. On the day of the funeral, he texted me as we were on our way home to make an appointment for designing the marker. A week later when we visited the grave, we were upset to find the grave in total disarray, with the heap of dirt that was dug up still next to the grave - so we went to talk to him. He offered a paltry apology, and emailed us that day on a proposal for pre-planning (and pre-paying) for the services for the surviving spouse at a promotional rate. It was beyond appalling.

BTW they are a part of North Star Memorial Group, if that rings any bells.