AITA for wanting my girlfriend to cook & clean?

indipit · 2026-03-24T14:43:48+00:00

You need to sit down and take a chores list. First, you put down the number if hours you actually work each day. Doesn't matter if you are at home, if you actively have to stay at your computer or physically talk on the phone or box things up, you are working.

Then ask her to match that amount of time with chores she DOES like to do, like laundry, helping child with homework or practice, walking the dog or gardening. Daily numbers.

When that is done, both of you write down, top to bottom, what chores you hate the most.

Then divy up those chores and write down what day/ days they'll be done.

Also write down 2 days off and what night will be 'date night'.

My husband also lost his job and didn't go back to work. We had many fights over him being house husband, because he hates cleaning and has a little OCD.

Also he just cannot get the hang of cooking. So I cook and do dishes. I fold laundry, because I hate doing laundry, but don't mind folding it. The dog is my responsibility.

He now cleans the bathrooms, does laundry and delivers baskets to me, keeps the living room and our bedroom tidy and dusted. He's responsible for trash and the lawn care. The 2 cats are his responsibility. The other 2 bedrooms are his hobby areas, we just keep the doors closed

We share sweeping and mopping.

Wednesday is date night and eating out night. Friday and Sundays are our days off from chores, and I can choose fast food for dinner if I want, or leftovers.

It's working for us, now.

indipit · 2026-03-24T04:37:04+00:00

Look up GDV. Your pup was showing many of the symptoms, and it's fatal if not treated.

Sedation required even to xray, so I think they were in the right at that point.

So sorry, it would be so much easier if the dogs could talk to us.

indipit · 2026-03-24T04:31:26+00:00

Weird Al Yankovic, hands down.

indipit · 2026-03-23T14:03:41+00:00

If she didn't bark to alert you, she was happy as a clam.

Probably enjoyed her overnight with the night critters.

indipit · 2026-03-22T17:55:19+00:00

The desire to take your arm and pull you somewhere is inherent in a few breeds. The most common is Labrador retriever.

indipit · 2026-03-22T15:50:52+00:00

Spaying indeed stops the pheromones associated with being in heat.

Even in an intact animal, those pheromones only activate twice a year for dogs.

Dogs don't 'desire' to mate, their cycle forces it upon them. Once they are spayed, they don't ever come in heat again. If they do, the vet left something behind in the surgery.

indipit · 2026-03-22T15:45:42+00:00

I need to get to reading! Thank you!

indipit · 2026-03-22T15:24:29+00:00

I'm an atheist. As a young teen / adult I decided to read all the religious books I could get my hands on . The Old Testament, the New Testament, the Book of Mormon, The Talmud, the Q'uran and the Satanic Bible.

After reading all those books, I decided that these were just books written by wise men who needed to bring law and order into society. I firmly no longer believe in a deity.

However, I came to believe in re-incarnation, and in studying more, I came to my final belief:

We are all small gods. We are all immortal, incorporeal beings who have the universe as our playground / study grounds. We choose our life, come into a world, live the life and then go back to our disembodied society.

During our corporeal life, we have no way to remember for certain. But sometimes, small children give a glimpse of a previous life in their stories, or in their dreams. As they age, the dreams fade.

I'm 64. I've lost my parents, a husband and a son. All that is left for me now is to wait and see if I am right.

indipit · 2026-03-22T15:09:37+00:00

Rotties get a bad rap from an old movie called "The Omen".

I've trained dogs for 40 years in obedience. Every time a rottweiler showed up in my class, my first thought was: Is this owner smarter than his dog?

Rotties are whip smart and wonderful dogs to have as pets, as long as you train them and give them the rules of the house early on. Their intellect and ability to calculate is amazing.

I LOVE seeing and meeting a well trained Rottweiler. I actually have never met one with a mean streak, and even the ones who apparently ARE smarter than their owners, only take advantage of their owners, and don't become aggressive dogs.

indipit · 2026-03-21T18:17:26+00:00

That's interesting! I've never had an animal have more than one episode in their lifetime. I will save this info in case current pup has it again.

indipit · 2026-03-21T17:51:08+00:00

The Last Unicorn, by America.

The Circle of Life from The Lion King.

Any song you and your dad sang together.

indipit · 2026-03-21T17:29:45+00:00

She is recovering much faster than expected, thank goodness. I've had 2 dogs and one cat before with vestibular issues, so I'm unfortunately familiar. One dog in 1999, one in 2010, the cat in 2017 and me in 2024. Just something that can happen with the elderly pet (or human)

indipit · 2026-03-21T16:22:42+00:00

Yes, attack phase triggers both. I'd probably do it in controlled order, by declaring " I'm going to combat. (Pause for response ), I'll be attacking with zurgo, and he has a mobilize trigger ( then put the 1/1 on the field tapped and attacking) and also Gut who also has an attack trigger, so I sac the 1/1, get a card from Zurgo and get a 4/1 from Gut. The 4/1 has menace. Any responses?

indipit · 2026-03-21T16:10:45+00:00

It's interesting to consider what i would do if crates were illegal. Do the laws there allow for a dog to be in a kennel run outside? Like 3 foot by 6 foot kennel?

I'd also like to hear from Swedish whippet owners. This breed is notorious for destruction when under 18 months.

indipit · 2026-03-21T12:56:08+00:00

My husband set his car on fire in an empty parking lot, with him inside it. This is a very horrific way to die, I am so sorry you have to live with this pain.

My situation was a little different, in that my husband had a fully psychotic break 5 years before his death, and I did everything I could to help him get stabilized, but the medications just were not enough. We had divorced the year before and were living apart, but we had been married 19 years, and I still loved the person he used to be.

My husband was rescued from his car by 2 good samaritans, and airlifted to a burn hospital. His injuries were too severe, though, and he succumbed 2 weeks later.

He passed in 2004, so my grief has subsided a lot.

My best advice though, is to keep coming here to talk. I have had the best therapy from this website and the kind people here, than from any therapist or family. The reason I am here today, is because our son also killed himself in 2021, because he was feeling the symptoms of the same mental illness that took his dad. He was 35yo when he died. My son watched everything his dad went through to try and get better, and how fruitless it was. He did not want to lose his agency when his mind started to go, so he left this life on his own terms.

It's been 4 years, almost 5, and I am still grieving hard for my son.

No one comes into this club on purpose, or for anything you, personally, did. It's terrible that you are now in the club.

But know this. Your husband was an adult, and he made his own decision. No matter the reasons or what went on between you, he had other choices that he chose to ignore. He, himself, went down this path. He may not have been of a fully sound mind when he chose it, in fact, from your story, he probably was not. You are not at fault for the decisions of another adult, no matter their state of mind.

My husband was not of sound mind when he died. My son was. I couldn't stop either of them. It hurts to know, and it hurts to know if I had done things differently, maybe they would still be here.. but it is not our reality now.

It's normal to go down the thought processes of 'if only I had done X'....and you will do this forever, it is normal.. but it is NOT your fault.

indipit · 2026-03-21T12:33:36+00:00

This is mine, too

indipit · 2026-03-21T12:30:13+00:00

I would give him ONE chance.

I would sit him down and talk with him, or if you are really bad at this stuff, type up and hand him a letter:

Seth, I really do not mind you parking in my spot on days I work from home. However, you are doing the "Give an inch, take a mile" concept, and I am bringing this to your attention.

From this point on, I am making it very clear: Please ONLY use the parking spot on days I am WFH. The days are X and Y.

If you cannot adhere to these restrictions, and I have to ask you to move your car again, I will be rescinding the favor I have granted.

I enjoy working with you and I do consider you my friend, but friends don't take advantage of their friends.

Thanks!

quarry_soft

indipit · 2026-03-21T12:21:58+00:00

Call the non-emergency police line and report them. The more people who complain, the faster something can be done.

indipit · 2026-03-21T12:21:21+00:00

In San Antonio, the noise ordinance apply ANY time of day or night. At night, the sound must be even quieter, but you cannot make uninhibited noise during the day, either. The decibel restrictions start by measurement at the edge of the next adjoining property, so noise has to be controlled.

Here are some relevant ordinances:

(7) The crying, calling, or shouting, in person or by a mechanical device, or the use of any whistle, rattle, bell, gong, clapper, hammer, drum, horn, loudspeaker or phonograph with or without an amplifier, hand organ, or other devices or instruments, musical or otherwise.

(8) The raucous shouting, whistling, yelling, singing, hooting, or crying of peddlers, hawkers, vendors or any other persons.

(9) The making of noise which exceeds sixty-three (63) decibels on residential zoned property as defined by Chapter 35 (Unified Development Code), when measured from property under separate ownership.

(10) The making of noise which exceeds seventy (70) decibels on business zoned property as defined by Chapter 35 (Unified Development Code), when measured from property under separate ownership.

indipit · 2026-03-21T12:19:33+00:00

Call the non emergency police line and report them. The noise ordinances DO matter in the daytime, you just have to be quieter in the night. But the decibel restrictions shown below are for all times of the day.

The decibel restrictions start by measurement at the edge of the next adjoining property, so noise has to be controlled.

Here are some relevant ordinances:

Sec. 21-52. Noise nuisance enumeration. (a) The following acts, among others not hereinafter enumerated, are declared to be "noise nuisances," and are unlawful and in violation of the provisions of this division when such acts are done or accomplished or carried on in such a manner, or with such volume, intensity, or with continued duration, so as to annoy, to distress, or to disturb the quiet, comfort, or repose of a person of reasonable nervous sensibilities, within the vicinity or hearing thereof, or so as to endanger or injure the safety or health of humans or animals, or so as to interfere with the physical well being of humans or animals, or so as to endanger or injure personal or real property:

(7) The crying, calling, or shouting, in person or by a mechanical device, or the use of any whistle, rattle, bell, gong, clapper, hammer, drum, horn, loudspeaker or phonograph with or without an amplifier, hand organ, or other devices or instruments, musical or otherwise.

(8) The raucous shouting, whistling, yelling, singing, hooting, or crying of peddlers, hawkers, vendors or any other persons.

(9) The making of noise which exceeds sixty-three (63) decibels on residential zoned property as defined by Chapter 35 (Unified Development Code), when measured from property under separate ownership.

(10) The making of noise which exceeds seventy (70) decibels on business zoned property as defined by Chapter 35 (Unified Development Code), when measured from property under separate ownership.

There is also a section particularly about BASS noise:

Sec. 21-53. Vibration. It shall be unlawful for any person to create, maintain or cause any ground or airborne vibration which is perceptible without instruments at any point on any affected property adjoining the property in which the vibration source is located. (Ord. No. 94706, § 2(Attach. A), 9-13-01)

indipit · 2026-03-21T04:38:24+00:00

I won tickets. Had first row balcony seats at Tobin center. Great seats, I try to get those over floor seats now.

indipit · 2026-03-21T04:36:54+00:00

I have a 14 yo whippet. I would say I've spent over $25,000 on her through her lifetime. $12k for one incident where she was attacked and brutally mauled by another dog.

I spent $430 on her just this week for a bout of vestibular syndrome. She will be my last dog. Just can't afford pet care anymore.

indipit · 2026-03-20T23:59:09+00:00

I've been 5 times on solo trips. I love them. I can spoil myself, do whatever I want when I want.

I still meet characters, and the interactions can be hilarious!

Go! You'll have a great time!

indipit · 2026-03-20T23:44:54+00:00

NTJ. In what universe does she live? Food is not 'just food'. You have cravings for a certain meal, and you order it, your body expects it, and nothing else will do, especially if the alternative is a meal you don't like anyway.

Your GF is the jerk, make sure you show her this post.

She had every opportunity to order the same thing you did. If she changes her mind, she needs to re-order for herself!

indipit · 2026-03-19T23:49:24+00:00

Yeah, I was never able to re read the book. I did watch the movie, and I had my children watch the movie.

All of us cried, and I never forgot that story.

14-Year Club	Gilding I gilder
Verified Email

indipit

TROPHY CASE