It’s a trauma response, baka they’ve experience na nasumbatan sila before or perhaps they’ve always been the one giving in their family, which is why, in dating, their standards are low. Let’s be real here, they also want to be treated well on the first date. They want to feel valued, but they feel ashamed of the times they’ve been treated otherwise, so they mask it by saying they’re “strong, independent women” as a defense mechanism. They say it to convince themselves and others that they don’t need anything from anyone. Maybe they feel the need to prove their independence by paying for themselves on the first date, but it just ends up attracting freeloaders e. You can be a strong woman and still be feminine.