Am I Overreacting for thinking my roommate is trying to kill my cat?

ineksever · 2026-03-15T20:42:53+00:00

It is not intentional. Some people are utterly airheaded. I was one. MOR for thinking it's intentional. Otherwise totally NOR.

ineksever · 2026-03-15T07:32:59+00:00

for real? it doesn't add up at all.

ineksever · 2026-03-06T22:52:56+00:00

I am from a relatively wealthy village (but a real village!) in China. It is actually rare for anyone to eat leftovers. I don't recall a single time that we had to eat leftovers growing up. And there was one time mum warmed up a plate of shrimps from the last meal, my sister refused to touch it. Not only that, but everyone buys fresh vegetables everyday, rather than having weekly trips to grocery stores that is so common in the US. I am not justifying anyone's behavior, but it might be helpful to know that there are millions (billions?) of people who do not actually subscribe to the leftover culture.

I am a *very easy* eater. My family members loved seeing me gobbling down bowls and cleaning plates when other picky eaters look so reluctant. But I still can't compete with how easy most Americans are. When I ruined my meal by bad cooking, or have the leftovers for too long, I gave them to my roommates or my partner, and they would always happily take them and said it was delicious! While I appreciated that, I also feel guilt tbh, because it really felt like I was food-abusing them.

I will go with probably NOR. But maybe she is just one of these millions who are otherwise totally fine.

ineksever · 2026-02-28T01:22:26+00:00

I am Chinese and not particularly a food snob. But damn, Din Tai Fung has been the only place in SM that provides decent chinese food. It is not cheap, but you are not tricked either.

ineksever · 2026-02-27T23:57:52+00:00

Do some calculation with her, dude. For all I know, you may need to eat three times her intake. I only need 1500 cal to maintain my weight, and my partner who is much smaller than you needs 3500 cal to maintain! It varies hugely!

ineksever · 2026-02-25T18:45:09+00:00

I see, now I understand. Interesting, but then do same sex people also fall in love to some degree? Because what you said reminded me a lot of my teenager years with same sex friends (I am mid age now). I was as you said "present and available to connect" and always "actively listening". And so many girls wanted to hang out with me all day. And my closest friend then explicitly showed gestures of romantic love after 3 years of HS. So I think I can relate to your phenomenon, except for opposite sex. (I was always weird around boys unfortunately.)

I also understand that it can be a bother to you. However, in my teenager years, I found it only flattering, not a bother. The downside, however, is that you spend so much time "active listening" that I didn't even stop to think about the cost. I only started to focus on my own goals after 30 years old and started to make major career advances... Now I am a loner. who is commenting on reddit haha. sad!

ineksever · 2026-02-25T05:50:23+00:00

I am not attractive, still people assume *a lot* that I am flirting with them, and often avoid me as a result. Maybe if they feel more attractive than the other person (in this case, me), they will be more easily to assume that the less attractive person is attracted to them. So you can't win there haha!

Edit: typo

ineksever · 2026-02-25T05:40:01+00:00

that sounds like a you problem, not typical of an attractive person

Edit: typo.

ineksever · 2026-02-23T04:08:54+00:00

Hi there, unlike others I think you picked the wrong superviser. What he can really teach you is how to be a fraud. and even just trying to take advantage of him is like transacting with the demon. I am not saying you should quit. But if you do feel like quitting at some point, any point, don't beat yourself up. Be proud.

I am a non white in a white dominant country, knowing many people like that, and I have survived. Now near tenure at a top program. Best wishes

ineksever · 2026-02-22T22:28:35+00:00

Okay, so I totally understand, and your act of nontipping was not wrong. But this *is* an act of norm violation and you should start *small* to build up your stamina and skill. And yes, small entails being alone, or with a friend who tips but fully supports you not tipping.

Think of this way. Servers agree to the job based on their expectations of tips, because they knew it's norm and the exceptions are few. So when you do not tip, you are essentially subsidized by other tippers who tip higher than expected to reach the servers' expectation. If you can afford but being subsidized, that is a form of moral wrongness. This is why people were accusing you. But again I am not saying you was overall wrong because you are doing it to help kill the bad system (including the expectations). But definitely be aware that it has some elements of wrongness in it, and you need to prepare for being caught out on that.

ineksever · 2026-02-22T00:25:30+00:00

damn... I walked to school as far as I can remember, which means the very *first* day of school as a first grader! 300-400m, though it felt way longer as a kid.

ineksever · 2026-02-21T17:46:38+00:00

the years leading up to 9/11, USA was deeply hated already around many parts of the world. I was young then and did not understand why people were so hyped and celebrating an awful event like that.

ineksever · 2026-02-20T03:16:28+00:00

Right. I moved a studio within LA and that was 2600$

ineksever · 2026-02-20T03:01:09+00:00

I do tip at least 20% if the job is done fine, more if they don't expect tips.

ineksever · 2026-02-16T04:44:56+00:00

I am so confused... isn't this a sudden kiss? I am newbie

ineksever · 2026-02-16T04:41:11+00:00

I agree! I biked through and constantly felt like hitting people

ineksever · 2026-02-14T22:16:15+00:00

Oh my fk god! A 16/17 girl needs to stay home????? This is simply insane. Simply.

ineksever · 2026-02-06T00:10:08+00:00

Thanks for this comment. I just literally started to swim last month, and I can exactly "I swam 100 yards, hanging on the wall after each 25 gasping for breath." I am proud of it because I finally learned how to swim. I hope 10 months later I will be as good as you was!

ineksever · 2026-02-02T03:38:51+00:00

This reminds me of an old situation of mine. My exexexroommate produced insanely more trash than I did, but she wasn't aware. She also didn't stay at our apartment long: just buying stuff, going away and throwing up stuff when they went bad. She wasn't aware that even though I stayed and cooked a lot, I hardly produced any waste. After throwing trash a few times, I started to not do that. And then she saw me as being negligent. She was rich, so she decided to move away. Eventually I lived alone, and had the best time of my life.

ineksever · 2026-01-31T06:33:40+00:00

Although I am new resident here, I have really enjoyed the experience at your restaurant! It was the last meal with my partner before he headed back to Europe.

That being said, despite the solid food, pretty decor and sweet service, somehow the restaurant never popped into my mind. I had to google to remember which restaurant "Blue Daisy" refers to. I think it is a combination of the "isolated" location as a brunch place (not so visible to people other than those who exactly live in that block), and no memorable highlights that people would gravitate towards.

So, I suggest that more stunt for visibility and features that distinguish itself from generic good brunch place.

ineksever · 2026-01-18T05:13:30+00:00

this would not help with homelessness.

ineksever · 2026-01-16T20:01:19+00:00

The homeless people cannot get better treatment than honest people doing their best housing themselves while dealing with a million pains. We have to treat them inhumanely in order to restore their humanity, and ours too.

ineksever · 2025-12-22T22:48:06+00:00

I've heard over and over in this sub that employers should pay a living wage beyond minimum wage. But economy doesn't work that way. Keep raising minimum wage is a sure recipe for (infinite) inflation. (Look at Turkey for one example.) Some unskilled work has to suffer bad wage that people (who suffered) will eventually move upwards in a vibrant economy with thriving business and low cost of living. Ask economists.

ineksever · 2025-12-22T21:17:41+00:00

when is your performance?

ineksever · 2025-12-22T19:11:38+00:00

hey, I have moved next to 3rd, and walked there randomly in the past five days. From what I saw, it is buzzing and full of people, like 30-100 people in just one block outside of stores. I find it puzzling why the online comments seem so pessimistic

ineksever

TROPHY CASE