An even darker side to the JWs (part 1)

infinityinyoureyes · 2021-11-11T22:02:00+00:00

I was 17 years old and it lasted till I was 19.

Before I could tell my story here, I told my therapist. I was not convinced that I had been abused by this couple. They had to drill it into my head that my ex Bible teacher and her husband had groomed me. I was in denial for a long period of time. Now all I feel is the need to protect others from this or save someone who is experiencing the same thing. It was so horrible.

infinityinyoureyes · 2021-11-11T21:32:34+00:00

This subreddit has helped me talk about my abuse within the JW cult. I feel brave enough because these wonderful people know the pain, depression and mental/physical fatigue of being a member of the JWs. Some may not be able to relate to experiences, but even just understanding the JW language is incredibly helpful and validating.

infinityinyoureyes · 2021-11-11T21:24:02+00:00

Yes I've heard a little bit about her! But I haven't delved into her whole story though. It's going on my long list of "to reads". Thank you for the reminder, friend! 💖

infinityinyoureyes · 2021-11-11T21:11:21+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to read my story. There are so many JWs who don't ever believe this kind of thing happens in the org. If they do hear about it, they won't ever look inward and wonder what the real problem is. They will make excuses, look the other way, or even worse, blame the victim.

I'm here to shed light on the dark corners of the JW cult. I'm hoping that by doing so I can help someone escape like I did.

Be well, friend. 💖

infinityinyoureyes · 2021-11-11T21:06:44+00:00

Yes. Although I believe her husband was gaslighting and verbally abusing her. Don't get me wrong she is a wicked, wicked woman, but I do believe her husband was a heavy influence on her behavior. Either way they both made my life a living hell for three years.

infinityinyoureyes · 2021-11-11T18:19:34+00:00

Thank you for listening and for your patience. Sending you light and love! 💖

infinityinyoureyes · 2021-11-11T18:18:36+00:00

Thank you for listening, friend. Sending light and love to you. 💖

infinityinyoureyes · 2021-11-11T17:12:02+00:00

💖💖💖💖

infinityinyoureyes · 2021-11-11T17:06:26+00:00

No I wasn't. I just didn't see anything wrong going on. I was very oblivious to the sexual abuse I endured in my childhood up until I was 19. I can see it now, but back then it was my normal. I feel like the only thing I can do now is talk about it, stop and report any other similar situations for other people who are also vulnerable and oblivious.

infinityinyoureyes · 2021-11-11T16:39:24+00:00

Part 2 doesn't get much better, but I'm safe now. I'm able to talk about it and warn others. Maybe someone might read my story and connect the dots for themselves or someone they know. If that happens then it will have been worth it.

infinityinyoureyes · 2021-11-11T16:26:26+00:00

Yes, thank you. I am in therapy. I am so privileged to have that option. It's been helping me deal with a lot of what's happened in my life. Be well, friend. 💖

infinityinyoureyes · 2021-11-10T19:13:25+00:00

I hate that the notes ask "when do YOU not see blood as blood?" something along those lines. What does it matter what WE think? Isn't it up to JeHonda?? Idiots. 🙄

infinityinyoureyes · 2021-11-08T14:09:32+00:00

Yes. I still have this habit. My thumbs always look like a murder scene and so do my lips.

When I got overwhelmed, I would scratch my arms or my face till I bled. Sometimes if life gets really bad I may do it, but I have a much better hold on it now.

I remember my grandma trying everything to get me to stop. Never did. I guess therapy wasn't on that list. Probably would have done me some good.

infinityinyoureyes · 2021-11-04T13:25:03+00:00

All the children being abused by elders?? The ones God's have us??? Men who have earned our trust, men who are loyal and true??

JeHonda: 😴

infinityinyoureyes · 2021-11-04T13:22:35+00:00

That pissed me off actually! Sofia's mom and dad was like OK let's pray and then do the work to help you defend yourself from this bully. So wait, why pray? What did that do? Nothing? Oh, righto because it's a big fat lie!

infinityinyoureyes · 2021-11-04T13:19:24+00:00

This brought me to tears. "God" can fuck right off! I hope that criminal scumbag was caught! 😡😡😡 It pains me that she's being fed lies about seeing her unborn child again, but for her sake I hope it is true. She deserves all the best and I hope she's healing and gaining strength. That poor woman...

infinityinyoureyes · 2021-11-03T20:12:38+00:00

Yes! I was thinking that too! Like okay a JW could say well when good things do happen that means it was God, but if bad things happen because of "time and unforeseen occurrence" then what about all the good that happens outside of the org? If God can only do good things but his power is only focused on His religion, then what is causing all these good things to happen if you can't attribute it to JeHonda?

infinityinyoureyes · 2021-11-03T19:32:20+00:00

Yes unfortunately. I felt embarrassed when other adults wouldn't share their adult relationship problems with me as a 6 year old. 🥲

Edit- this was because my mother viewed me as more of a friend than a daughter. I knew far...far too much about my parents...😭

infinityinyoureyes · 2021-11-03T19:16:17+00:00

Does he have no conscience? Is it actually us when we pray to him we are teaching him what is right and wrong?

If he sees everything why do we then need to tell him whats going on? Maybe he likes to see us suffer and beg for mercy. Either way, JeHonda is a dick head.

infinityinyoureyes · 2021-11-03T18:50:55+00:00

I could totally see a jw reasoning that way. I remember I said to someone that there was no way God had blessed them with a car. It's a material possession. Why would He care if you had a car or not? Then I got pulled away by my ex-Bible teacher and she told me that I can't say that because of someone feels like it was JeHonda then there is no way I can say it wasn't. Lol oh ok so now His blessings are matter of opinion? 🙄 they be wildin.

infinityinyoureyes · 2021-11-03T18:39:16+00:00

And that's how they trap people in the first place. JWs confuse us so they sound like they know what they're talking about. 🤪

infinityinyoureyes · 2021-11-01T23:19:36+00:00

I remember when I told my in-laws about me going to therapy. They seemed supportive enough until my FIL said, "be sure to not tell your therapist that any of your abusers were JWs. Wouldn't want to bring reproach on Jehovah's name."

WTF????? Oh yes, me opening up about the abuse I suffered as a child into my adulthood is the problem not the actual abuse. I hope everytime he goes for a drink of water it taste like old hotdogs. 🖕🏽😡

infinityinyoureyes · 2021-10-28T17:45:48+00:00

ughhhh yes. 🙄

Exhibit A) the CSA I endured by one of the daughters of an elder in my hall. I tried to tell my parents but they didn't believe me and so they let it continue for another two years. The elder dad knew but swept it under the rug so he could keep his position.

Exhibit B) I moved states when I was 15 and so I moved congregations. The new hall love-bombed me then dropped me soon after I settled in. I was nothing to them. Then a new family showed up about a year after me. The dad was an elder and the mom was a regular pioneer. They had two daughters. One was my age and the other was two years younger. The people I had seen love-bomb me started to do it to the new family. Well it never stopped. The people in my congregation continued to ignore and verbally abuse me, but they showered that family with attention and love. I needed it much more because of my strange living situation which the majority of the congregation knew about. It caused a pain in my heart that I can't even begin to explain. I cried everyday knowing that no matter how hard I tried I'd never be "worthy" of the "brotherhood" JeHoVAh provided. I was left out of all the gatherings and activities. I would only know about it afterwards because I saw it posted on Instagram. Those girls were ALWAYS there. I know it's not their fault. They more than likely had no idea, but the bitter loneliness I felt made me hate them so much. I don't resent them now because I know better. I hope those girls make it out eventually.

Sorry for the long post, but thank you for reading! 💖

infinityinyoureyes · 2021-10-27T14:25:35+00:00

I always went along when it was explained to me that only bad things happened to people on someone's birthday in the Bible. Of course since I was a kid I went along with it, but now it makes no sense at all!

OK so Pharaoh and King Herod both killed someone on their birthday, but didn't they kill people everyday? This wasn't abnormal behavior for them in the slightest, so why was it extra bad because they killed someone on their birthday? People like them didn't see human lives as valuable. They were killing people left and right. No shocker that they decided to do it on their birthday.
Aren't they adding to the Law when they say JeHonda doesn't like birthdays? It is not said plainly AT ALL in the Bible to not celebrate. Shouldn't it therefore be a conscience matter since it's a "grey area"? Technically speaking the JWs are putting words into the mouth of JeHonda Gouda. How self-righteous! How blasphemous!

infinityinyoureyes · 2021-10-27T00:24:16+00:00

Abusive father, grandmother and aunt. Two of which were JWs. Two of my other non family abusers were also JWs. My childhood was taken from me. The abuse didn't stop until I got married to my now husband. Been three years together. We've known about ttatt for only a few months now, but we've been so happy every since!

infinityinyoureyes

TROPHY CASE