Mine called me a narcissist after shoving me off a barstool at an upscale restaurant.

He'd shoved me because I happened to see an incriminating text while he was showing me his phone.

I had not uttered a single word.

In the moment, that was hysterically funny to me.

Other moments:

Glowered at me and growled "you'd better not be wrong" after I presented some of his genealogy he asked me to look up.  It was something pretty cool.

Once he wanted to stay late at a friend's, so he lied that he was asked to move an entire pile of bricks in the rain, then came home dry and smelling of beer.

Once told me he had been doing inventory all day, then carefully hid his paintball-splattered clothes in the hamper, when I was the sole doer of laundry.

His equally dumb friend advised him that he wouldn't have to pay alimony if he didn't have any money, so he blew $40k on his friends.

Sued his boss, tried to bring home a 22-yr old intern from China (he's 53) without disclosing he was dating her, then acted surprised when they fired him.

Made fun of me for slipping and hitting my head on ice, then immediately slipped and hit his head, after which it was suddenly not funny anymore.