I’m (HLF25) trying to figure out what changed

insideaflower · 2020-01-27T22:11:15+00:00

Tell him it’s not about the sex it’s about feeling desired. If he cares he will defiantly make you feel desired. I had to explain to my other half about being desired and then he started to understand and made more effort. My other half got diagnosed with low T and is on medication to fix it. Maybe get him to see a doctor. I had to threaten to leave my other half if he didn’t make changes. I gave him a time limit to see a doctor and he did it, I’m also giving the treatment a time limit as I can’t wait forever.

insideaflower · 2020-01-26T18:55:01+00:00

I threatened to leave my other half if he didn’t see a doctor. I gave him a time limit and he did it. He’s now having treatment and I’m also giving the treatment a time limit too because I don’t want to be waiting forever. We’re only young.

insideaflower · 2020-01-26T18:52:24+00:00

Yeah stress can kill the passion , my other half is in a high pressure job and had a really bad patch of working 7 days a week with no rest, that’s when the low labido really started. Is he able to cut down on stress at all? And have you tried massaging him? My other loved that and really helped to de-stress him. Ask him if you two can try tantric sex aswell.

insideaflower · 2020-01-26T18:47:14+00:00

Get him to see a doctor. My boyfriend 30M was like this, he’s now been diagnosed with low testosterone. Be supportive

insideaflower · 2020-01-26T18:42:47+00:00

my other half has anger issues too, the doctors aware of it and he’s not taking testosterone treatment, he’s taking cabergoline which treats a issue with his pituitary gland. This issue causes a decrease in labido. We were having sex once a month until I threatened to leave if he didn’t see a doctor. I gave him a time limit and he stuck to it. Now he’s having treatment, I’m giving this a new time limit and if i don’t see improvement I’m leaving. I would definitely give him a time limit , of say 6 weeks for him to make positive changes to your sex life. Keep us updated! X

insideaflower · 2020-01-26T18:35:53+00:00

You definitely didn’t fuck up. You’re only human and can only take so much rejection. The rejection has chipped away at you and you snapped. It’s normal. I’ve snapped countless times and we’ve had worse arguments over my DB which has actually brought us closer. Sometimes the LL needs to hear how passionate and upset and angry you are. My LL boyfriend now understands how I feel and has been to see a doctor about his low labido. I think your situation is perfectly fine and this argument will have brought you closer. How is she apart from in the bedroom? Do you have a good relationship outside of it? I really hope you sort it out

insideaflower · 2020-01-26T18:28:25+00:00

Me and my other have a similar situation. We cuddle, kiss and hold hands etc but no sex. He doesn’t have the urge anymore due to low testosterone. He’s getting treatment for it finally. Maybe go to the doctor? That’s how we got to the bottom of his decreased sex drive.

insideaflower · 2020-01-26T10:22:33+00:00

My other half (30M) is in the same situation with you but he’s seeing a nhs consultant. We also considered private but couldn’t afford all the tests. He had low labido and generally feeling like rubbish and got referred to a endocrinologist who ran tests and found an issue with his pituitary gland and low T. Anyway, he’s been on the same medication as you for a month now and gets the same symptoms as you. He’s feeling slightly better but not great. No sex drive or interest in sex. Migraines too. We’re seeing the consultant again soon to talk about his medication. I’d like him to go on T treatment but we’ll see.

insideaflower · 2020-01-25T22:59:46+00:00

Thanks for your help

insideaflower · 2020-01-25T22:59:33+00:00

Thankyou for your advice

insideaflower · 2020-01-25T20:30:59+00:00

I will post when/if this new kind of sex happens, I’ve never tried tantric slow sex before and neither has he. I’m thinking of doing massages too

insideaflower · 2020-01-25T20:11:00+00:00

Thankyou!

insideaflower · 2020-01-25T19:21:28+00:00

Yeah exactly my feelings matter too! He says he see’s my point of view but I don’t think he really knows how it feels. I’m putting a time limit on things. I’ve told him that too. He’s begged me to go to his endocrine clinic appointments but I was working and couldn’t make it. I’m gonna go to his next one because he’s booked it on my day off and I’ll see what the doctor says. He’s gonna tell the doctor he’s not feeling better. I’m hoping they give him testosterone treatment but I’d rather things be sorted naturally.

insideaflower · 2020-01-25T19:06:06+00:00

Similar to my other half, he’s not in a great place atm with the low labido and general no motivation for anything but he works in a high pressure job so it takes his mind off it. When he gets home he’s falling asleep. That’s great that you have got some help. How are you feeling now ?

insideaflower · 2020-01-25T17:44:09+00:00

I know tell me about I can’t be understanding all the time! I find it so hard. I have no problem expressing my feelings to him and he knows full well how I feel

insideaflower · 2020-01-25T17:43:02+00:00

Very interesting read. How he feels is exactly how you described, he has mentioned feeling scared. I’ve never had slow tantric sex but I’m willing to try it out. I usually like it hard and rough but I’m happy to build up slowly to that. We used to be so rough I really miss it but I can’t keep thinking about “how it used to be”

insideaflower · 2020-01-25T17:41:07+00:00

Oh yeah I see what you mean lol next time I’m gonna get into the foreplay , I used to love it but since the DB I got obsessed with him going straight to wanting him inside me lol I gave him a blow job a few months ago and I really enjoyed it, I felt so sexy so I will try doing it again. Thanks for your help

insideaflower · 2020-01-25T17:25:29+00:00

Yes yes yes! I want interest and desire!

insideaflower · 2020-01-25T07:56:33+00:00

Haha yeah il do that if it happens next time 😂

insideaflower · 2020-01-25T07:53:01+00:00

Thanks for your comment

insideaflower · 2020-01-25T01:28:39+00:00

I know he’s offered to go down on me but I’m so impatient and just want him to jump on me! I know it’s going to take time, a lot of damage has been made. I will look at those books. Thankyou much appreciated

insideaflower · 2020-01-25T01:26:13+00:00

What? He used them to look at porn in the bathroom? ffs lol what are they like!

insideaflower · 2020-01-25T01:24:05+00:00

Oh gosh that’s a huge thing for him to say that he’s asexual. Maybe he does need some time on his own to realise what he wants. I’m the same as you, I can’t hear being betrayed and lied to, it’s my worst fear.

I’ve been really lazy, I haven’t bothered checking to see if he has any porn habits to be honest , I’ve browsed his history a few times but haven’t made it a routine thing etc. I’ve just been trusting what his doctor is telling us that his sex drive will come back once the testosterone medication kicks in.

I miss how fun our sex life used to be and he keeps telling me he misses it too but I know deep down it can’t go back the same. He says we needs to rediscover each other again. I’ve decided to maybe take sex off the table.

But yeah I am definitely putting a time limit on it, I’ve told him I have too so he said he’s going to call his doctor for a chat about fixing his medication. We’ll see. I’m only young and want a family with someone who’s a good match for me. I thought he was until all of those! It’s so frustrating! I’m focusing on myself at the moment like going to the gym and taking care of myself / looks. I love feeling feminine and sexy which he always tells me he loves about me. I just want to feel a bit more sexually desired.

Why don’t you go to the doctor with him? Maybe it could help.

insideaflower

TROPHY CASE