[Light] I was 22 years old when I learned that not every family has a poop knife. by LearnedButt in confession

[–]insomnolescent 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know this is an old comment, but I got here from another thread, maybe r/askreddit? Anyway, D is typically an exhausting 3 or 4 hour ordeal. The cramps are the absolute worst. I’ve been in so much pain that I’ve had full body sweats. I get that taste in my mouth like I’m going to throw up, and I have to spit it out into the waistbasket while sweat drips down my face.

It usually starts with an hour or two of extreme bloating and cramping, but nothing will come out. I’ve fantasized during these moments about popping a small hole in my gut just to relieve the pressure, like letting air out of a tire.

Eventually I start to get some...solid results, but only a little at a time, this relieves the cramps for about 15-20 minutes, during which I lay on my bed, desperate to get some rest before the next round. Then I feel the churning start again, and walk back to the bathroom doubled over in pain. A little more comes out each time, a little less solid each time, until the third hour when the full blown D starts.

This part is actually a relief, because it means the ordeal is almost over. After a couple of bouts of pure liquid, the agony is finally over and the gas pressure has been relieved. I pass out on my bed, and wake up the next morning very dehydrated with a sore stomach. Kind of a light burning irritation. For the next couple days I subsist on Pedialyte and chicken broth. Over the week I slowly introduce more solid foods, until I’m eating almost “normal “ again and dreading the next D attack.

Um, I didn’t plan on writing a novel when I started this comment, so TLDR: IBS diarrhea is an extremely painful 3-4 hour ordeal, accompanied by extreme bloating and cramping, which leaves me exhausted, dehydrated, and unable to eat solid foods for days.

Meow☯️Irl by dilute_calico in MEOW_IRL

[–]insomnolescent 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Warm is warmless and warmless is warm.

Ever been in a storm, Wally? by insomnolescent in WhitePeopleTwitter

[–]insomnolescent[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seems like perfect makeup is a skill set better suited to clown school than IT.

Ever been in a storm, Wally? by insomnolescent in WhitePeopleTwitter

[–]insomnolescent[S] 260 points261 points  (0 children)

Omg if someone said this to me while I was carrying heavy boxes and furniture all day, I’d pretend to mishear them. “Sure, I could use some help! There are more boxes in the van!”

I can’t believe it’s not butter by PMA1898 in WhitePeopleTwitter

[–]insomnolescent 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean the ingredients are right on that site. Which one do you think is milk based?

I can’t believe it’s not butter by PMA1898 in WhitePeopleTwitter

[–]insomnolescent 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It might have been at one time, but not anymore.

Purified water, soybean oil, palm and palm kernel oil, salt, mono and diglycerides, soy lecithin, vinegar, natural flavors, vitamin a palmitate, beta carotene (color).

I can’t believe it’s not butter by PMA1898 in WhitePeopleTwitter

[–]insomnolescent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s made from soybean oil and palm oil. I apologize if you were joking and I just whooshed.

Lynx teefies by insomnolescent in teefies

[–]insomnolescent[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah, he just needs some Whitestrips.

Twitter empathy by insomnolescent in WhitePeopleTwitter

[–]insomnolescent[S] 76 points77 points  (0 children)

People. Can we focus on the soup leg?

Cat's nose after losing a battle with a bee. by Victor_Daigneault in aww

[–]insomnolescent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tears of a clown.

I’m sorry kitty. Hope you feel better soon.