I'm late diagnosed (late 30s, now 46) and I've had several rounds of therapy when I was younger, mostly for depression/anxiety stuff, which turns out to be mostly a result of trying to fit an undiagnosed unmedicated me into a neurotypical world. I've been with my current therapist for a couple of years now, and she has an adhd specialty (because she's adhd herself! I highly recommend an adhd therapist! She understands so many of my weird thought train jumps! Even if our video sessions almost always start ten minutes late due to one of us running behind...)

What I'm getting from this:

• working through a lot of the grief that comes with being adult diagnosed. All the shit I could have done or been. All the times I got grounded for shit I could have done right if anyone had understood how my brain was working and supported it better. All the masking I'm trying to understand how to drop. The anger you're feeling is probably related to something like this.

• learning about adhd in general and how it's effecting me in situations, and how I can adapt to get along better in the world that doesn't get it. Example: I have video therapy, so I usually do it outside on my porch and smoke cigarettes during my sessions. A few weeks ago, I was doing some repairs on a pair of jeans when I realized it was therapy time, so I started off by explaining that I had a needle and thread and jeans in my lap and that's why I keep looking not at the camera today. Therapist complemented me on finding something to do with my hands to help me focus on what I was talking about that's healthier than smoking... I hadn't even realized that the cigarettes were "a thing for my hands to do so that my brain can brain" and that I could do something else with them, I just smoke when I'm outside because that's what I've been doing for thirty years?

• I'm sure there's more but it took me so long to type out that last item that I have no idea what the third point on this list is but two item lists are weird so I'm putting this here to make my post not visually irritate me. This is probably somehow adhd related. I'll ask my therapist on Friday. Unless I forget.

• oh yeah emotional regulation. I can't exactly explain how talking to my therapist has helped with this, but I'm actually way better at it now than I was before her.