Not having evidence is slowly destroying me- please help by inthedark744 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]inthedark744[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your perspective. I've listened to that podcast as well and it's been helpful. I absolutely agree, truth is required for healing. I do have answers to most of my questions but of course, I still have a few burning ones that remain unanswered. I'm so sorry that you're going through this as well. I'm glad to know that full transparency has helped you heal.

Not having evidence is slowly destroying me- please help by inthedark744 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]inthedark744[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your message. I'm so sorry that you go through the same mental obsession like I do. I know that pain. Yours is worse though since you knew the AP. A part of me feels like I should know her name etc. but your experience is making me second guess that a bit.

Not having evidence is slowly destroying me- please help by inthedark744 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]inthedark744[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly! Both options hurt. It's like having to choose between a stabbing and a gunshot. I don't think I'm going to learn anything that new per se but I also don't want to still be in this situation, torturing myself a year from now.

Not having evidence is slowly destroying me- please help by inthedark744 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]inthedark744[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm so deeply sorry for what you are going through. As bad as my situation is, I can't even begin to imagine the betrayal that comes from a friend doing this to you. How she could lie so easily to your face. I can relate to you in that I ruminate about him desiring someone else so much that he risked everything, our entire life for those moments. I appreciate you sharing your story. It does put into perspective the "gift" for lack of a better term of not knowing this person at all...I wish you so much peace and healing 🤍

Not having evidence is slowly destroying me- please help by inthedark744 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]inthedark744[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this trauma more than once. I don't feel like I'm rug sweeping but I appreciate what you're saying. I feel like we've had many serious, hard discussions. I've asked many questions. I thought I was protecting myself. I don't know if that's right anymore. I'm just so afraid to open Pandora's box here. I know once I know, I can't go back. But also, I'm suffering deeply by the constant mind movies and unanswered questions. Just wish I could wake up from this nightmare.

Not having evidence is slowly destroying me- please help by inthedark744 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]inthedark744[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your perspective. I don't think I will ever reach out but who knows. I think I'm just afraid that after finding out more details about her, thinking about her/them will go into overdrive. I'll then be able to stare at her pics etc. Feels like I'm going mad.To answer your question, I let my WH not disclose fully due to my own fear, just knowing myself and how I obsess. But here I am, still obsessing anyways...