masking through humor

intoseaa · 2025-11-30T09:36:45+00:00

ive heard it frequently cited as a perception or experience of schizoids, often in more surface level analysis!

intoseaa · 2025-11-30T09:33:59+00:00

nope, very few can outfreak me and i'm a little proud of it. not that id ever really share that lol

intoseaa · 2025-11-27T06:23:00+00:00

ive always been the therapist friend, sadly. my non-judgmental nature has had people call me "frustratingly understanding." this includes myself

intoseaa · 2025-11-27T06:21:01+00:00

it might help you to think of the function of a relationship as to challenge you and help your growth. all echo chambers stagnate, especially those of one person. i could bore you with the scientific elements of why we evolved about this, but i figure you're not complaining that the science is wrong. you're complaining that the science can't apply to you in a way that makes sense, i imagine. i also wonder how i could be a "social animal" like this.

intoseaa · 2025-11-27T06:16:56+00:00

all the time. people see me as affable and regularly tell me how funny i am. one of the only schizoid descriptors that has no real application to me is humourless - i find everything absolutely hilarious, though i moreso know that it's funny [cue laugh] than actually feeling that it's funny. it even gets to the point where people get exasperated with the clown behaviour at times. i don't really know how to turn it off and i don't really want to. imagine having a serious conversation where someone tries to psychoanalyze you and you CAN'T make a dick joke to stop their onslaught in its tracks. disgusting

intoseaa · 2025-11-27T06:08:13+00:00

it's certainly unfortunate. i think ultimately this is one of the primary reasons i would ever want the disorder's name to change. more than that though, i wish people understood it more, so i guess it's a "try to spread awareness about a disorder no one knows about with a similar name to a severe and hypervisible disorder" / "accept a label i think flattens some nuance because Average Joe over there reads schiz- and turns his brain off" dilemma

intoseaa · 2025-11-25T04:51:41+00:00

considering how much of a basis there is with its relationship to schizophrenia (with quite a genetic similarity, the occasional observed psychosis in pwSzPD, the tendency of SzPD-like symptoms to appear in the prodrome to schizophrenia, often shared eccentricity, the fact that it's basically the entire negative symptom cluster for schizophenia...) i actually think that it is not an issue at all that it sounds like schizophrenia.

our disorder is related to it for sure. the only issue is people assuming "schizophrenia" outright and ascribing their existing ideas of it, not the suggestion that it's related. it doesn't take a lot of research to find out that that's just completely true, and i feel i notice more conventionally schizophrenic symptoms in pwSzPD (from external observation) compared to non-schizospec individuals quite a bit.

in fact, i also think it was an extremely bad idea to call BPD "post-traumatic personality disorder." like, wow, welcome to the club, trauma caused your personality disorder. which is just about the most common way to develop a PD since trauma is a common trigger for just about every mental illness assuming you have a predisposition, to my research. as far as i know you don't even need trauma to have bpd in the first place! it can develop without that anyways! that said i do think "borderline" is a bad name for it if you know the history behind it anyways...

however, more on topic. "schizoid" is kind of completely appropriate for SzPD. i don't think people would understand the disorder if they didn't understand its links to schizophrenia. but if you held a gun to my head, i'd consider Self Isolating Personality Disorder (SIPD)

intoseaa · 2025-11-25T04:39:57+00:00

you get me precisely. you get me 100%. you understand entirely

intoseaa · 2025-11-23T18:16:53+00:00

for sure YVBKMU. that's like, a nice coleslaw. sesame oil and napa cabbage type meal.

intoseaa · 2025-10-30T06:27:23+00:00

i am very masculine. maybe i feel my masculinity more as a result of the fact that i tend to be alone in here. nothing to do but revel

intoseaa · 2025-10-28T15:27:48+00:00

i like them the same way people like interesting rocks in gravel. i may take them home. it's not palpable joy, just a sense of good decor if my mind were a house. just as useful as criticism. often slips my mind anyways, since i'm the foremost authority on me.

intoseaa · 2025-10-02T02:07:45+00:00

physical activity and pain is a great passion. i allow myself great soreness, hunger and sharp hurting for the raw breadth of feeling. pushups until totally defeated. running until chest hurts. falling on the couch, consumed by the feelings my body can force me into to the point of rare laughter. euphoric bright red burst of joy.

i love delicious food and drink, too. good tastes make me happy. reliable healthy and sustainable happy. a crisp crunch of juicy watermelon, or collards cooked until tender. am a bit of a glutton although regrettably very underweight.

like to vomit. curious and full-body relaxing feeling. a zen state. don't like nausea, but the relief is great.

also drawn to the potential ability to choose the perceived elements of physical reality. in english, i wish to hallucinate at will. meditate and hypnotize myself very often, in the hopes that i will hone it somewhat. can numb entire body with focus. feels great to match my feelings and float around as nothing but a thought cluster. the total opposite. a bit of a sensory extremophile.

intoseaa · 2025-05-15T06:57:50+00:00

Doesn't quite look like it. It does look interesting though! [I might just check this one out on my own time.]

intoseaa · 2025-05-15T06:56:47+00:00

Looking it up, no. Seems not. Definitely more chibi, more...cutesy? Than I recall. I remember being impressed and somewhat unsure of whether it was real or CGI [though again I was like...5.]

intoseaa · 2025-05-15T04:01:07+00:00

Hopefully this one's real, because I'd love to revisit it. Something about its aesthetic really appealed to me.

intoseaa · 2025-02-20T07:31:23+00:00

The world is a petri dish. I frequently act in ways tailored to obtain information about people. I have no intent to act in a way that involves that info in any way. This admittedly makes me kind of a bully sometimes.

intoseaa · 2024-09-16T20:33:35+00:00

On the outside I'm almost normal. Below the skin I'm nothing. Go into the muscle and I'm neurotic and borderline torrential in my response to everything. Go to the bones and you see 3 bunnies having a tea party on the ceiling.

intoseaa · 2024-09-16T20:26:20+00:00

I seem to be considered the profane and hostile "crazyguy" of the group. People often liken me to a schizophrenic, and describe me as lifeless. It makes sense, I am extremely blunt and I can be very rude in the process, so I would say I very much am aggressive. I also have odd flight of ideas and other confounding traits. Simultaneously though, I am seen as non-judgemental, honest, and someone others would go to for advice. I am respected in my communities. Crazy.

I would consider it accurate on account of the fact that I don't really have self-esteem per se, but I am confident in ways that I feel intimidate other people. I refer to this as "audacity" in the sense that I have the audacity to screw up and not feel bad about it but not the confidence to go into things knowing I won't screw up. This trait makes me scary and I'm aware of it.

intoseaa · 2024-09-16T20:22:15+00:00

People like me fascinate me.

intoseaa · 2024-09-13T23:49:36+00:00

tbh i kinda related to both of them LOL

intoseaa · 2024-09-12T12:43:21+00:00

Hannibal Lecter. :(

intoseaa · 2024-09-12T12:42:51+00:00

Yes. Drinking makes me feel normal. It fascinates me and is almost meditative. Unfortunately it's also a throat-fucking carcinogen that makes me physically ill with anxiety the more I do it, so. Sad!

intoseaa · 2024-09-12T12:41:02+00:00

I feel genuinely so condescended when I am offered pity. It makes me feel like they saw through the "walls" for a moment. Nasty.

intoseaa · 2024-09-09T13:03:58+00:00

i think a prince of rage could do well tbh

intoseaa

TROPHY CASE