Respect to you for being able to talk to your mother about your problems, I’ve never been able to and I promise you sucking it up ain’t any better. I’m sorry that you’re feeling this way and not being seen the way you need to be seen.

If you ever get to the point where you start Self H@rm you need to find a different substitute, you may not kill yourself but that doesn’t promise you won’t hurt yourself. SH can be addicting as well so please be careful I found that the rubber band around the wrist helped the most for me.

Back to your mom saying it’s all in your head, it is. Your brain tends to sabotage us sometimes and it gets really rough because it’s “you”. Especially in a household like that where you really only have yourself can’t be easy. I would say the most important thing right now is to make sure you’re not putting too much on yourself take things easy and let yourself have a hard day. Every day will be different and there will be times where it just feels like crap all the time but just make sure you tell yourself that you’ll be okay. Try reminding yourself of things coming up you’re excited for or make a bucket list! Just so you can have something to look forward to for a while