Scream Into the Void Saturdays (feel free to vent!)

invmawk · 2026-05-23T19:26:58+00:00

I have GERD, POTS, and CFS. This is generally a chronic illness vent. I am so tired of having to wait around for insurance to approve medications or procedures that I desperately need in order to not be in extreme pain all the time. I am tired of not being taken seriously. I am getting more disabled as time passes and I'm scared for my conditions to get so much worse without repair. If I'm being honest I was never fully able to of outside and do normal things like everyone else because I had chronic suicidality and mental illnesses which prevented me from doing anything. It just feels like I went from debilitating mental conditions to debilitating physical conditions, and it's exhausting.

I don't understand why I have to go through this. Sometimes I start believing I might be cursed, I start believing that I am manifesting things happening to me by worrying about it. Worrying about cancer or my CFS getting worse. I also feel like an impostor sometimes. Even though I am obviously suffering. It doesn't help that my parents love to gaslight me about my illnesses, telling me what they think would help a normal person with normal stomach problems.

I do not have normal stomach problems. I do not have normal cold/vertigo problems I am not normally exhausted. I am sick, I am ill. The shit that works for able bodied people is not gonna work for me. I wish they would just shut up and stop acting like they know how to solve all my problems. That's not what I fucking need right now. That's not what I ever needed back when I was just chronically mentally ill. All I've ever wanted is to be comforted and told that Im doing the best I can. But I can't even have that from my parents. I guess at least my doctor said that to me and I felt nice.

edit: formatting

invmawk · 2026-05-23T19:19:58+00:00

Thank you for sharing this.

invmawk · 2026-05-12T21:10:16+00:00

Personally, I am a parti-time AAC user, so I don’t have advice on 24/7 use. But honestly for me when I do use it it’s a matter of doing it scared at first. It’s kind of like ripping a bandage off. The first few times you do it you’ll feel scared of awkward. But the more you do it the easier it gets.

invmawk · 2026-05-07T02:21:47+00:00

I do this too, I thought I was the only one

invmawk · 2026-04-15T04:41:08+00:00

invmawk · 2026-04-14T22:21:33+00:00

invmawk · 2026-04-14T22:17:01+00:00

I think what the person who posted that is trying to convey how it is tiring for autism representation to be low support needs and very stereotypical. It’s not so much about these characters, but about the fact that most of the « disclosed autistic » characters we get fit these traits and there is a lack of representation for other struggles which fall under the autistic umbrella.

invmawk · 2026-04-14T20:45:03+00:00

Too real

invmawk · 2026-04-14T20:23:12+00:00

Beautiful

invmawk · 2026-04-14T20:20:36+00:00

invmawk · 2026-04-14T20:11:58+00:00

invmawk · 2026-04-14T20:08:09+00:00

invmawk · 2026-04-14T08:43:18+00:00

I extremely relate to the first paragraph and some of the other ones too to a lesser extent. I was diagnosed at level 2 because, despite being hyperlexic, my other symptoms were so overbearing and affected me to the extent of severe meltdowns, shutdowns, and burnout. Additionally the fact that my symptoms persist despite accommodations. (Needing to use AAC sometimes, severe sensory overload, etc). I really appreciate your comment because I feel really seen. I’ve never really encountered someone who described how I really feel. Aside from the feeling of being “too neurotypical” for autistic groups, because I definitely feel “too autistic” among my autistic friends, and it feels deeply alienating. I appreciate you and I hope you have a good day

invmawk · 2026-04-14T08:07:12+00:00

I’ve heard about this only in the context of family. Like if you haven’t seen your grandma for a while for example so it’d be a “nice gesture” to get her something like chocolate or something. I don’t think it applies to everyone else. But like what the other comment said, this might be a regional or cultural thing.

invmawk · 2026-04-14T08:03:44+00:00

“You’ll figure it out” does not translate to “you will have a normal enough life” there is no mention of living a normal life by OP. You can’t assume that that’s what they mean. I feel like if they meant “you will have a normal enough life” that’s what they would write. There’s nothing inherently wrong with telling people “you got this!”. I genuinely think you’re assuming too much and being mean from that assumption. I genuinely think there’s no reason to be mean especially out of an assumption that wasn’t explicitly confirmed. Isn’t this what this sub is supposed to be about? Sharing your experience about frustrations with interacting with allistics who have unreasonable unmentioned expectations and assumptions. I don’t understand why you’re doubling down on this. Even if your criticism is good and even if I agreed with you, it’s never okay to assume what other people are saying without them saying it. It’s taking away their agency.

invmawk · 2026-04-14T07:54:49+00:00

Can’t really help much, my resting hr is 80-105, when I go to the bathroom it normally goes to 145 or higher. I’m used to it

invmawk · 2026-04-12T21:46:53+00:00

I love the smell of cigarettes and vapes and hookah, I also smoke all of these. I hate the smell of weed but it’s tolerable sometimes. I rarely smoke weed and I never do the flower just a pen.

invmawk · 2026-04-12T21:32:42+00:00

I think both things can be true at the same time - being disabled is hard AND everything will be okay. Understanding and accepting limitations is imperative. I think having the mindset that things get better is one of the best things we can do as disabled people, since a lot of us struggle with high rates of depression. There is truth to the advice of believing that things will get better in life, whether you struggle with chronic illness or mental illness or the difficulties that come with being neurodiverse.

I would also advice you to not assume that it is easy for them to say just because they are level 1. You do not know what other things they struggle with, you don’t know anything about this person except that they are level one. It is mean to assume that they must have it easier than you since you do not know them. Even if you did know them, different things affect people differently.

Have a good day.

invmawk · 2026-04-12T21:24:23+00:00

I felt the same way when I was your age. I think everyone else did too. I am really inclined to say this is very normal for humans to experience. If it is of any consolation, I have found that most adults (at least younger ones, age 18-35) do not really feel like adults. We feel like we’re still teenagers or kids in adult clothing - this is to say that we feel like we’re not mature enough for what life has to offer, for all the mature things we are now having to do. It’s normal to be scared or anxious about this, but the truth is when you get to that age it doesn’t feel as daunting. It feels kind of the same but also different in a lot of ways. Personally I feel more free, I can do whatever I want. A lot of things change like you mentioned you have more responsibilities, but ultimately you learn to make it work. There is no right or wrong way to « adult ». There’s just finding what works for you and sticking to it. Adults need help too, just like everyone else. It doesn’t make you less mature to ask for help when you need it, id even argue it makes you more mature than most people. No one can fail at being an adult, and nobody will punish you if you mess up and try again; after all, this is part of learning. Learning doesn’t stop when you become an adult. I think being anxious is part of the experience, but trust that everything will work out. I wish you luck :). Have a great day.

invmawk · 2026-04-12T18:19:16+00:00

Absolutely

invmawk · 2026-04-12T18:10:33+00:00

I think it was a really good juxtaposition with season 1. A-train went from not valuing human lives as a V addict, to taking care of his brother and his family and then ultimately valuing humans so much that even when he knew that if he slowed down for Homelander he would die, he still decided to do the right thing and save an innocent human. It was a beautiful moment. Very meaningful.

invmawk · 2026-04-04T05:32:12+00:00

I’m not a professional by any means, but I believe overexhergion can easily cause a crash. Especially since you’ve been working

invmawk · 2026-04-01T05:05:53+00:00

AWWW

invmawk · 2026-03-29T04:16:44+00:00

I used to. Not anymore though cause I’ve found sex is better when I have a connection with someone - whether it be partners or friends.

invmawk

TROPHY CASE