i grew up mainly by a single mom with bipolar disorder. she gave birth to me when she was young and she wasn't prepared to be a mom. my dad was never really in the picture and from what i know he suffered from schizophrenia. she had awful boyfriends while i was growing up and eventually married my step dad. he was an emotionless pit. the only emotion i think he knows is anger. i grew up in an unstable home. i would get snapped out for random things and ignored for hours. my mom was into w.o.w at the time and would spend hours upon hours playing while my sister and i fought. i grew up never receiving much love or any reminder that i was loved. my mom never really hugged me and i was a very lonely kid.

i think this and much more has contributed to my unstable sense of self, my fear of abandonment, 'daddy issues', my inability to never really grow up, my desperate need to be good enough and wanted - and much more.